1 00:03:30,846 --> 00:03:33,181 $17.52. 2 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,418 That settles my back taxes for '59 and '60. 3 00:03:35,487 --> 00:03:37,975 - That does it. - Gougers, all of you. 4 00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:41,495 - Gougers! - Don't tell it to me. I make 60 bucks a week here. 5 00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:45,559 - Go ahead, lady. I can wait. - Oh, thank you. 6 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,731 Is this where you give the money in? 7 00:03:50,527 --> 00:03:52,861 Excuse me. Is this where you give the money in? 8 00:03:56,511 --> 00:03:59,511 Let me see your form, miss. 9 00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:03,478 I mean, did you make out a form? I mean, where are your papers? 10 00:04:03,551 --> 00:04:07,511 Oh. This is the only paper that I thought was necessary. 11 00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:11,990 Oh, I can't take your check without the regular 1040 form. 12 00:04:12,063 --> 00:04:15,675 It's to be sure it's the correct amount according to your return. 13 00:04:15,743 --> 00:04:18,263 Well, this isn't according to any return. It's just money. 14 00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,190 I wanna give it to the government. 15 00:04:20,255 --> 00:04:22,110 Well, this is very irregular. 16 00:04:22,175 --> 00:04:25,721 First of all, this is the Department of Internal Revenue and... 17 00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:39,678 Oh, I get it. 18 00:04:39,743 --> 00:04:41,815 April fool. Next! 19 00:04:41,886 --> 00:04:43,828 - No, please. - Next! 20 00:04:50,078 --> 00:04:52,151 And... And I went to see the head clerk... 21 00:04:52,223 --> 00:04:55,768 and then the assistant to the Secretary ofTreasury... 22 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:58,326 and then the Secretary ofTreasury... 23 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,254 But... 24 00:05:00,319 --> 00:05:03,450 but when I insisted on seeing the president... 25 00:05:03,518 --> 00:05:06,617 they insisted I come to see you! 26 00:05:06,687 --> 00:05:08,542 Dr. Svenson... 27 00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:10,647 do you think I'm crazy too? 28 00:05:13,118 --> 00:05:15,485 The... The name is "Steffanson"... 29 00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:17,525 Victor Steffanson... 30 00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:20,446 and, um... and we never use that word around here. 31 00:05:20,511 --> 00:05:25,050 Now, Mrs. Benson, you just take one of these and try to relax. Here. 32 00:05:25,119 --> 00:05:26,974 You know, Mrs... 33 00:05:27,039 --> 00:05:29,690 Aaah! Pink! 34 00:05:29,759 --> 00:05:31,417 Pink. They're pink pills! 35 00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:35,032 - My husband was pink! I can't take a pink pill! - Ju-Just crunch it. 36 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:39,194 Crunch it right down. Th-That's right. That's right. 37 00:05:44,767 --> 00:05:48,028 Uh, Mrs. Benson... 38 00:05:48,095 --> 00:05:51,772 You are obviously the victim of some inner disturbance... 39 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,108 in which, well, for the want of a better word... 40 00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:57,470 your guilts have led you to a state of fantasy... 41 00:05:57,534 --> 00:05:59,542 in which, um, "A," 42 00:05:59,615 --> 00:06:02,746 you are burdened with some fantastic wealth... 43 00:06:02,815 --> 00:06:05,782 and... and "B," you are eager to rid yourself of it... 44 00:06:05,855 --> 00:06:10,427 as in the ancient ritual of exorcising some dybbuk or, uh, evil spirit. 45 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,462 - Now, now, now, now. Now, this is normal. 46 00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:15,869 Excuse me. 47 00:06:19,135 --> 00:06:20,990 Yes. Please don't... What? 48 00:06:21,055 --> 00:06:22,910 Oh, yes. Put him on, please. 49 00:06:22,975 --> 00:06:25,560 Oh, hello, Fred. Uh-huh. You investigated. And? 50 00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:30,846 F- Fred. Th-The check is good? 51 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,436 Uh-huh. Yes. 52 00:06:36,511 --> 00:06:38,366 Uh-huh. Thank you, Fred. 53 00:06:40,351 --> 00:06:44,344 I have the strangest tingling sensation in my... 54 00:06:44,414 --> 00:06:46,324 my toes. 55 00:06:48,191 --> 00:06:50,296 Are you all right? 56 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,701 What? 57 00:06:52,766 --> 00:06:56,541 - Uh, w-what happened? - Well, "A," you fainted and "B," I poured water on you. 58 00:06:56,606 --> 00:06:59,192 I'm terribly sorry, but I didn't know what else to do. 59 00:06:59,263 --> 00:07:03,158 No, it-it's all right. You did the right thing. 60 00:07:03,231 --> 00:07:05,238 Um, do you faint often? 61 00:07:05,311 --> 00:07:07,318 Oh, just once in a while. 62 00:07:07,391 --> 00:07:11,286 It's the shock of realization whenever I've been dead wrong about something. 63 00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:13,911 The fainting is, um, running away, as it were... 64 00:07:13,982 --> 00:07:16,121 from the reality that I'm not... 65 00:07:16,191 --> 00:07:18,842 I'm not infallible. 66 00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:22,206 Y- You see, it's been the pattern of my life... 67 00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:24,659 from the time I was a... 68 00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,036 Wait a minute. What is this? 69 00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:30,299 Who's doing what to who... or whom? 70 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:33,301 Mrs. Benson, you are a young woman... 71 00:07:33,374 --> 00:07:37,881 who is apparently worth in the neighborhood of... $200 million! 72 00:07:37,951 --> 00:07:40,700 And for some incredible reason, you wanna give it to the government! 73 00:07:40,766 --> 00:07:44,083 Y- You don't need a psychiatrist. You need your head examined. 74 00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:46,297 - Now, out of my office! Out! - No, Dr. Steffanson. 75 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,374 - Out of my office! - You said something a minute ago... 76 00:07:48,446 --> 00:07:50,618 that was very understanding and true. 77 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:54,462 I never heard it expressed before. But I want your help. 78 00:07:54,527 --> 00:07:56,599 - Mrs... - Oh, please! 79 00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:58,558 Ah, yes. 80 00:07:58,623 --> 00:08:02,616 Yes, the oath I took forbids me to turn away from a cry for help. 81 00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:04,541 S- Sit down, Mrs. Benson. 82 00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:10,452 Oh! It was what you said about my wanting to get rid of my money... 83 00:08:10,526 --> 00:08:12,698 like exorcising some evil spirit. 84 00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,774 - Ah, yes. - Dr. Steffanson. 85 00:08:14,847 --> 00:08:17,662 - Mm-hmm? - I think I may be some kind of a witch. 86 00:08:17,727 --> 00:08:19,582 Oh-ho-ho. Come, come now, Mrs. Benson. 87 00:08:19,647 --> 00:08:21,654 This is the 19th centur... er, uh, 20th century. 88 00:08:21,726 --> 00:08:26,036 No! Really! Every man whose life I touch withers. 89 00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:29,812 Really? Uh, Mrs... 90 00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:34,972 Mrs. Benson, please, just turn over and... and try to relax. 91 00:08:38,654 --> 00:08:41,109 Go right ahead. 92 00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:46,550 Well, I was born Louisa May Foster... 93 00:08:46,623 --> 00:08:50,070 in the small town of Crawleyville, Ohio. 94 00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:53,438 Oh, I can't understand it. I never wanted money. 95 00:08:53,503 --> 00:08:56,634 All I ever wanted was to lead a simple life... 96 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,834 with one man to love and to love me. 97 00:08:59,903 --> 00:09:03,066 A simple life somewhere in a little cottage... 98 00:09:03,135 --> 00:09:07,510 that's all I ever wanted ever since I was a little girl with my mother and father. 99 00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:09,852 Oh, your mother. What was your mother like? 100 00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:12,537 Mother? Well... 101 00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:17,014 Mother kept Daddy and me clean, neat as a pin, and took us to church every Sunday. 102 00:09:17,087 --> 00:09:21,560 So now I say unto you, love thy neighbor as thyself. 103 00:09:21,631 --> 00:09:24,380 'Tis better to give than to receive. 104 00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:28,919 Money is the root of all evil. 105 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:32,122 Mother even had embroidered these very sentiments... 106 00:09:32,191 --> 00:09:34,874 on samplers for our living room at home. 107 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:38,390 But we were poor, and Mother found it hard to live up to these ideas. 108 00:09:38,463 --> 00:09:40,797 Good day, Mrs. Jenkins. 109 00:09:40,862 --> 00:09:43,197 Sherman, did you see EmilyJenkins? 110 00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:45,750 That slob smothered in a mink cape. 111 00:09:45,822 --> 00:09:48,026 I hate her guts! 112 00:09:48,094 --> 00:09:49,949 Look what I've got. 113 00:09:50,014 --> 00:09:53,691 Her husband was a shipping clerk 15 years ago, same as you. 114 00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:57,206 Now look at him. Look at you. Where's your drive? Where's your ambition? 115 00:09:57,278 --> 00:10:00,922 That's what counts in this world... Success! Money! 116 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:04,984 Success! Money! President of the Nice Fellows Club! 117 00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:11,196 Money! Success! Get to the top! 118 00:10:11,263 --> 00:10:13,751 Money! Success! Money! Money, money, money! 119 00:10:19,262 --> 00:10:21,117 As the years went by... 120 00:10:21,182 --> 00:10:23,997 I saw my dear, sweet Daddy dwindle away under this... 121 00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:26,550 till you practically didn't know he was there. 122 00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:31,576 I began to understand what Mother really meant by those samplers. 123 00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:43,290 You play your cards right and we'll have more money than we need. 124 00:10:43,358 --> 00:10:46,970 But, Mother, money isn't everything! 125 00:10:47,039 --> 00:10:49,527 I know Leonard Crawley owns Crawley's Emporium... 126 00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:52,086 and three quarters of the property in Crawleyville... 127 00:10:52,158 --> 00:10:55,671 but I'm not gonna marry him just because he's the richest man in town. 128 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:58,677 He's a sneak and a bore and a drag... 129 00:10:58,751 --> 00:11:01,206 and, oh, he's been with every girl there is... 130 00:11:01,279 --> 00:11:03,133 and besides, I don't love him! 131 00:11:03,199 --> 00:11:06,166 - There's no such thing as love! - He's a snob! 132 00:11:06,239 --> 00:11:08,922 He's ashamed of you and where we live. 133 00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:12,252 Why, he won't even walk in this house when he comes to call for me. 134 00:11:12,318 --> 00:11:15,133 I wouldn't come in here either, if I didn't have to. 135 00:11:15,198 --> 00:11:18,165 Louisa, you turned out real beautiful. 136 00:11:18,238 --> 00:11:21,915 You have something to sell. Take a mother's advice. Sell it now! 137 00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:28,729 - There's Leonard. You better hurry. - No, I'm not going! 138 00:11:28,798 --> 00:11:32,027 How dare you turn down a man like Leonard Crawley! 139 00:11:32,095 --> 00:11:35,062 I tell you he has money. You go and get it! 140 00:11:38,174 --> 00:11:40,029 Leonard was waiting. 141 00:11:40,094 --> 00:11:42,134 I thought over everything he had to offer. 142 00:11:42,207 --> 00:11:45,622 The Crawley home, the Crawley stables... 143 00:11:45,695 --> 00:11:47,582 Crawley's department store... 144 00:11:47,646 --> 00:11:50,614 but then there was Leonard himself. 145 00:11:52,255 --> 00:11:54,164 Leonard Crawley was, um... 146 00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:58,039 Hmm. How shall I say it? 147 00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:01,012 Well, that's not fair, I guess. 148 00:12:01,086 --> 00:12:03,159 He was just Leonard Crawley, son of wealth. 149 00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:05,843 Put 'er right down next to mine, baby. 150 00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:09,366 - Gee, I wish I'd said that. - Aw, you can use it anytime you want. 151 00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:11,381 Just give credit to Crawley. 152 00:12:11,455 --> 00:12:14,171 That's more than Crawley ever did for anyone else in this town. 153 00:12:16,798 --> 00:12:19,319 Oh, by the way, you better let your mom know... 154 00:12:19,391 --> 00:12:21,245 that the payment's due on her refrigerator. 155 00:12:21,311 --> 00:12:23,547 Don't let her get the idea that 'cause we're getting married... 156 00:12:23,614 --> 00:12:25,469 I'm gonna let her off the hook. 157 00:12:25,534 --> 00:12:28,349 Oh, no, no. By the way, she couldn't be your real mother. 158 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,269 She must've been left on your front doorstep... 159 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:33,084 one stormy night in a cage. 160 00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:35,157 Why are you so intent on marrying me... 161 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:37,718 when it's perfectly obvious I'm indifferent to you... 162 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,863 and all of the so-called advantages you have to offer? 163 00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:42,716 That's just it, baby. You're the only girl in town... 164 00:12:42,783 --> 00:12:46,361 who doesn't throw herself in front of me in the mud and scream, "Take me." 165 00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,438 You know, you suggest good breeding. 166 00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:50,365 Heaven knows where you got it from. 167 00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:52,601 But, uh, also you'll produce me an heir... 168 00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,677 and, uh, then my mother will stop nagging me... 169 00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:57,401 about carrying on the Crawley tradition. 170 00:12:57,470 --> 00:13:00,285 - Any better reason than that for getting married, huh? 171 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:03,001 - Hmm? - How about love? 172 00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:06,365 Love? Well, let me put it this way, honey. 173 00:13:06,431 --> 00:13:08,765 I'm very rich and you're very poor. 174 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,416 And sooner or later, you're gonna come around. 175 00:13:11,487 --> 00:13:14,553 Mm. You know the indifference I felt? 176 00:13:14,623 --> 00:13:16,859 Hmm? 177 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,836 Well, it's beginning to change. 178 00:13:18,911 --> 00:13:23,645 - It's beginning to blossom into complete contempt. 179 00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,565 What'd I tell you, honey? 180 00:13:25,631 --> 00:13:28,347 I told you you were gonna come around sooner or later. 181 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:38,070 I gotta pick up the 6:00 town news from my store manager. 182 00:13:38,142 --> 00:13:40,149 Mm. The Crawley gestapo. 183 00:13:40,222 --> 00:13:42,677 Ohhh, yes. 184 00:13:43,998 --> 00:13:45,853 Huh? Oh, that eyesore. 185 00:13:45,918 --> 00:13:48,569 The only spot in town we don't own. 186 00:13:48,638 --> 00:13:52,216 But it's just a matter of time before old Hopper will come around. 187 00:13:53,886 --> 00:13:55,958 Just like you, baby. 188 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,243 Good afternoon, Mr. Crawley, Miss Foster. Nice weather we're having. 189 00:14:01,311 --> 00:14:03,165 - All right. Make it fast, Driscoll. - Yes, sir. 190 00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:06,297 Mrs. Willoughby was five minutes late getting back from the doctor's today. 191 00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:09,148 - Oh. Five dollars fine off her salary. - Yes, sir. 192 00:14:09,214 --> 00:14:12,345 Hopper sent back the answer to your latest bid on his property. 193 00:14:12,414 --> 00:14:15,033 It's still "no." He says he doesn't want to make money. 194 00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,990 Hejust wants to keep his little place as it is. 195 00:14:17,054 --> 00:14:18,909 Edgar Hopper. 196 00:14:18,974 --> 00:14:21,462 I haven't run into him since high school. 197 00:14:23,646 --> 00:14:27,191 Hmm. I wonder how many days I'd get for manslaughter. 198 00:14:27,262 --> 00:14:30,230 In Crawleyville, they wouldn't even fine you, sir. 199 00:14:49,662 --> 00:14:52,476 - Hi, Lenny. - Edgar, you better watch where you're going. 200 00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:54,876 Yeah, you're right, Lenny. I was looking at the sun. 201 00:14:54,941 --> 00:14:57,908 - Aren't you angry? - Why should I be angry? It was my fault. 202 00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,632 - Then maybe we could fight. - There's no sense in doing that, Lenny. 203 00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:04,476 You'd kick the heck out of me... all that football and golf and tennis and everything. 204 00:15:04,541 --> 00:15:06,548 You're a real winner, Lenny. 205 00:15:06,621 --> 00:15:08,476 What are you, an orthodox coward? 206 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,411 No, Lenny, I just believe in passive resistance. 207 00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,340 Oh. A Mahatma Hopper, I presume. 208 00:15:13,406 --> 00:15:16,886 No, as a matter of fact, Gandhi and I both got it from this guy... Henry Thoreau. 209 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,346 You're all covered with mud, Edgar! 210 00:15:19,422 --> 00:15:22,007 Oh. I mean, Mr. Hopper. 211 00:15:23,037 --> 00:15:25,525 Louisa... Louisa Foster, isn't it? 212 00:15:25,597 --> 00:15:28,085 - Mm-hmm. - Hey, I haven't seen you since Mrs. Pritchard's class. 213 00:15:28,157 --> 00:15:30,329 Hey, you've grown... or maybe I shrunk. 214 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,252 He wouldn't be covered with all this mud... 215 00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:34,172 if he'd let the town pave that piece of road... 216 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,092 in front of his property like anybody else. 217 00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:38,012 It costs too much, Lenny. 218 00:15:38,077 --> 00:15:41,852 For what you Crawleys charge for a bag of cement, this town oughta be paved with gold. 219 00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:43,957 Thanks, Lenny. Hey, I gotta be going. 220 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,648 - I don't wanna keep those trout waiting. - See you. 221 00:15:46,717 --> 00:15:49,532 Uh, don't grow any more, Miss Foster. 222 00:15:49,597 --> 00:15:52,117 You're just right now. Good-bye. 223 00:15:52,189 --> 00:15:54,099 Bye. 224 00:16:22,973 --> 00:16:26,269 - Oh! - Hello. Imagine finding you here. 225 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,504 I just happened to be swimming by. 226 00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:30,428 Well, you scared the fish away. 227 00:16:30,493 --> 00:16:34,170 You could pull me in. I am full grown... you said so yourself. 228 00:16:35,133 --> 00:16:37,522 - Thank you. - Sit down. 229 00:16:39,293 --> 00:16:41,301 Here. Put this on. 230 00:16:41,373 --> 00:16:43,708 Thanks. Did you catch any? 231 00:16:43,773 --> 00:16:45,780 Well, yeah. Three, including you. 232 00:16:45,853 --> 00:16:47,860 I'll cook them for you. 233 00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,821 My clothes are right down there. 234 00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:52,024 Do you have anything to cook them in? 235 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,389 Well, my baronial estate's right over there. 236 00:16:55,453 --> 00:16:58,748 - Is that where you live? - Yeah. L... 237 00:16:58,814 --> 00:17:01,781 It's kind of on the simple side. I know. 238 00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:04,406 Simple. Yes. 239 00:17:04,477 --> 00:17:08,186 "Oh, our lives are frittered away by detail. 240 00:17:08,253 --> 00:17:10,642 Simplify, simplify." 241 00:17:10,717 --> 00:17:12,572 What did you say? 242 00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:16,915 - "Our lives are frittered away... - "by detail. 243 00:17:16,989 --> 00:17:19,640 Simplify, simplify." 244 00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:21,978 A girl who can quote Thoreau! 245 00:17:22,045 --> 00:17:25,242 Oh, I couldn't quote him before I went to the library this morning. 246 00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:27,643 I'd never even heard of him before yesterday. 247 00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:31,638 Wh... Uh, you mean you didn't swim by my boat just by accident? 248 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,242 No. 249 00:17:36,317 --> 00:17:38,172 Gee. 250 00:17:55,710 --> 00:17:59,005 What is the future Mrs. Leonard Crawley doing here anyway? 251 00:17:59,069 --> 00:18:01,338 Well, now, whatever gave you that idea about me? 252 00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:05,628 Well, I don't know. Everybody in town takes it for granted. 253 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,548 You are engaged to him, aren't you? 254 00:18:07,613 --> 00:18:09,555 Well, he takes it for granted. 255 00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,800 Tsk. Ohhh. 256 00:18:11,869 --> 00:18:14,455 But, Edgar... 257 00:18:14,525 --> 00:18:17,013 as far back as I can remember... 258 00:18:17,085 --> 00:18:19,419 in grammar school, in Mrs. Pritchard's class... 259 00:18:19,485 --> 00:18:21,492 you know, when I sat in front of you? 260 00:18:21,565 --> 00:18:25,875 I wished that I had had long pigtails so you could stick them in the inkwell. 261 00:18:25,949 --> 00:18:28,120 Did you really? 262 00:18:28,189 --> 00:18:30,361 I'm not gonna marry Leonard Crawley. 263 00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:33,244 Of course, he'll never understand anyone turning him down. 264 00:18:34,877 --> 00:18:37,178 Especially for you. 265 00:18:37,245 --> 00:18:40,692 Louisa! You... 266 00:18:40,765 --> 00:18:43,002 You mean you'd take this... 267 00:18:43,069 --> 00:18:45,240 instead of all that? 268 00:18:45,309 --> 00:18:48,026 But, Louisa, I've got... nothing. 269 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,948 I'll... I'll always have nothing. 270 00:18:50,013 --> 00:18:54,137 - I'll always be nothing. - Edgar, that's what I want... nothing. 271 00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:57,337 To quote me and not Thoreau... 272 00:18:57,405 --> 00:18:59,314 I love you. 273 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,323 Oh, Louisa. 274 00:19:10,397 --> 00:19:13,910 I'll make you happy. I'll never work hard. 275 00:19:13,981 --> 00:19:16,730 I'll never make good. I swear it! 276 00:19:18,877 --> 00:19:22,008 It's true, Mother. I've married Edgar Hopper. 277 00:19:27,293 --> 00:19:30,293 Whereas Mother received the news of my marriage to Edgar... 278 00:19:30,365 --> 00:19:32,372 with ill-disguised displeasure... 279 00:19:32,445 --> 00:19:34,998 Leonard took the news in his stride. 280 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:47,900 For a while, Edgar and I led an idyllic life. 281 00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:50,300 He went off to the store a couple ofhours a week... 282 00:19:50,365 --> 00:19:52,699 but the rest of the time belonged to us. 283 00:19:52,765 --> 00:19:57,402 As I look back on it, I see our life together as a wonderful old silent movie. 284 00:21:47,324 --> 00:21:50,074 Oh, I'll have this leak fixed in no time. 285 00:21:50,141 --> 00:21:52,410 Well, that ol' water tank always gave a lot of trouble. 286 00:21:52,476 --> 00:21:54,484 I'm going down to the store one of these days... 287 00:21:54,557 --> 00:21:56,411 and get some chicken wire and fix these springs. 288 00:21:56,477 --> 00:22:00,251 - You can do almost anything with chicken wire. - I sure do love chicken wire. 289 00:22:00,317 --> 00:22:02,488 - Leonard. - If you're thinking of running something up for dinner... 290 00:22:02,557 --> 00:22:04,412 I'd be pleased to stay. 291 00:22:04,477 --> 00:22:06,332 - Hello, Leonard. - Hi. Hi. 292 00:22:06,397 --> 00:22:09,146 If it isn't the happy Hoppers at home. I've been all over the world. 293 00:22:09,213 --> 00:22:11,863 This is the first chance I've had to come over and see you lovebirds. 294 00:22:11,932 --> 00:22:14,267 You know, I saw the Taj Mahal by moonlight, Louisa? 295 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,821 - Hmm. - Oh, but I envy you... here. 296 00:22:16,893 --> 00:22:19,707 - What's that, uh, camera for? - Oh. I'm doing a documentary. 297 00:22:19,773 --> 00:22:22,490 Slum conditions in, uh, Crawleyville. 298 00:22:22,557 --> 00:22:24,662 - Ahhh. - Oh, come now, Leonard. 299 00:22:24,733 --> 00:22:26,588 You needn't be such a sore loser. 300 00:22:26,653 --> 00:22:31,061 Well, you gave me up for all this, and I can understand it, you know? 301 00:22:31,132 --> 00:22:33,620 A nice roof under your feet, rain a-face at night... 302 00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:36,987 all the grass you can eat. 303 00:22:37,053 --> 00:22:40,827 Hey, Leonard, get outta here before I twist your head off like a turnip. 304 00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,543 Well, is this the voice of passive resistance speaking? 305 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,427 No, just get out of here. 306 00:22:46,492 --> 00:22:49,460 Oh! Oh, Louisa, you all right? 307 00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:52,380 - Ohhh! - Oh! 308 00:22:52,445 --> 00:22:56,984 Well, another innovation for modern living, huh? 309 00:22:57,052 --> 00:22:59,125 Instant shower for milady. 310 00:22:59,197 --> 00:23:01,564 - Well, well. - I'm afraid I'm not a bit handy, Edgar. 311 00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:03,484 Oh, no, but you are handy. 312 00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,720 I could use you at the store doing odd jobs... 313 00:23:05,789 --> 00:23:07,644 and I'd pay you and you could be earning a living. 314 00:23:07,709 --> 00:23:10,197 - My wife doesn't have to work! I'm sorry. - Aaah! 315 00:23:10,269 --> 00:23:13,171 Ohhh. 316 00:23:13,245 --> 00:23:15,100 Uh, let me... 317 00:23:15,165 --> 00:23:17,816 Ed. Seriously, Ed. Why don't you come down this afternoon... 318 00:23:17,885 --> 00:23:19,794 and sell me that piece of property of yours? 319 00:23:19,869 --> 00:23:21,724 Uh, someone could do something with it... 320 00:23:21,789 --> 00:23:23,796 not you, of course, but, uh, someone. 321 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:26,520 - I said to get outta here. Get outta here! - All right, all right. 322 00:23:26,589 --> 00:23:29,622 I will. I'm gettin' out. Sorry to have barged in on you kids like this... 323 00:23:29,692 --> 00:23:31,864 but I'll send a Christmas basket. 324 00:23:42,909 --> 00:23:44,916 What's the matter, darling? 325 00:23:44,989 --> 00:23:48,284 Oh, nothing. I... think I'll go down to the store... 326 00:23:48,349 --> 00:23:50,203 for a little while this afternoon. 327 00:23:50,269 --> 00:23:52,603 But you were there just 10 days ago! 328 00:23:52,669 --> 00:23:55,320 Well, it's got that chicken wire I want... 329 00:23:55,389 --> 00:23:58,040 and, uh, some nails. 330 00:23:58,109 --> 00:24:00,629 You know, it's end of summer. 331 00:24:00,701 --> 00:24:03,254 People come home from vacation. Somebody might want something. 332 00:24:04,508 --> 00:24:06,647 Uh, well, I'll be back. 333 00:24:10,524 --> 00:24:13,012 But he never really did come back... 334 00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:15,289 not the Edgar Hopper I knew. 335 00:24:16,765 --> 00:24:19,580 When he hadn't returned by the next day, I hurried into town. 336 00:24:19,645 --> 00:24:21,816 Hop, hop into Hopper's. The lowest prices in town. 337 00:24:21,884 --> 00:24:25,496 Unlimited credit. This is the biggest sale in the history of our county. 338 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:28,380 Don't crawl to Crawley's, folks. Hop, hop to Hopper's. 339 00:24:28,445 --> 00:24:31,347 I guarantee you 10% off because we've no air conditioning. 340 00:24:31,421 --> 00:24:33,560 This is it, folks. Right here on Main Street. 341 00:24:33,629 --> 00:24:36,214 Hop, hop to Hopper's. We undersell everybody. 342 00:24:36,284 --> 00:24:38,194 Come right in, folks. Instant credit. 343 00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,756 If we haven't got it, we'll get it for you, folks. 344 00:24:40,829 --> 00:24:43,131 Don't crawl to Crawley's. Hop, hop to Hopper's. 345 00:24:43,197 --> 00:24:45,815 So all you shop... Louisa. 346 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:51,958 - What is all this? - Hopper's Taj Mahal, honey, and it's all for you. 347 00:24:52,029 --> 00:24:56,404 Listen, Louisa, when that snake rattled into our house, something snapped. 348 00:24:56,477 --> 00:24:58,549 But where have you been? Why didn't you come home? 349 00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:02,166 There you were, mending the roof... my wife! 350 00:25:02,237 --> 00:25:05,368 Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers. Hop to Hopper's. 351 00:25:05,436 --> 00:25:08,851 Honey, I wanna get you things... dresses and things for the house... 352 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:11,063 - a house! - But I like our house. 353 00:25:11,133 --> 00:25:12,988 What is it that makes a family... 354 00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:16,020 go to the same store over and over and no place else? 355 00:25:16,093 --> 00:25:19,476 Well, I don't know. Free eats, free toys for the kiddies. 356 00:25:19,549 --> 00:25:23,029 That's it! We'll stuff'em and then we'll sell 'em. 357 00:25:23,101 --> 00:25:27,192 - Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers! Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's! 358 00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:29,171 Come on, honey. Let me show you around. 359 00:25:29,244 --> 00:25:33,500 Hey, you kids. Get up on there and keep with the "Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's." 360 00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,420 - Eddie, this is wonderful. - Oh, thanks, folks. 361 00:25:35,485 --> 00:25:37,340 - Terrific. - Thanks for coming. 362 00:25:37,405 --> 00:25:39,674 - There's more bargains than that. Okay. - We'll be back, Eddie. 363 00:25:39,741 --> 00:25:41,596 - Some buys, Eddie. - Edgar, uh... 364 00:25:41,661 --> 00:25:44,628 - Congratulations, Eddie. - Oh, thanks. The prices are low, the goods are right... 365 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:46,555 so come to Hopper's from morn till night. 366 00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:48,792 - We'll be back. - No kidding. We're open till 10:00 every night. 367 00:25:48,861 --> 00:25:51,511 - How's it going there, folks? Those are all on sale. - Oh, great. 368 00:25:51,580 --> 00:25:54,231 - Edgar, when will we ever see each other? - Huh? 369 00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:57,945 Honey, as soon as this thing gets going, we'll have more time together than ever. 370 00:25:58,013 --> 00:26:00,696 But we had all our time together before. 371 00:26:00,764 --> 00:26:03,066 - What about Thoreau? - Thoreau? 372 00:26:03,133 --> 00:26:06,962 You don't want to "keep pace" like all the others. You heard "a different drummer," remember? 373 00:26:07,036 --> 00:26:08,891 Oh, yeah. I hear a different drummer, all right. 374 00:26:08,956 --> 00:26:11,258 And the music I hear says, "Hop, hop, Eddie. 375 00:26:11,324 --> 00:26:13,234 Hop, hop." 376 00:26:16,093 --> 00:26:18,810 Well, it looks like we've got him at last, Driscoll. 377 00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:21,244 Have we? The people seem to be eating it up. 378 00:26:21,309 --> 00:26:23,381 Anybody'll run to look at a freak. 379 00:26:23,452 --> 00:26:27,162 I figure I give him three months and he'll hop, hop himself right into oblivion. 380 00:26:27,229 --> 00:26:29,531 ##Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's ## 381 00:26:29,597 --> 00:26:32,085 # Hop, hop, hop, hop to Hopper's # 382 00:26:32,156 --> 00:26:35,124 # Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's, Hop ## 383 00:26:35,197 --> 00:26:38,644 For-Forgive me, sir, but we really must advertise. 384 00:26:38,716 --> 00:26:40,953 We must, huh? You're fired! 385 00:26:43,516 --> 00:26:46,964 - Merry Christmas and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year! 386 00:26:48,316 --> 00:26:50,171 Merry Christmas... 387 00:26:50,236 --> 00:26:52,341 and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year! 388 00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:57,144 - I really bought a lot of stuff. - I think you bought out the store. 389 00:26:57,212 --> 00:26:59,384 And it's no trouble at all, Mrs. Freeman. No trouble. 390 00:26:59,453 --> 00:27:01,307 If you can't leave Hopper's, Hopper's leaves with you. 391 00:27:01,373 --> 00:27:03,860 Hey, Ned, you drop Mrs. Freeman off on your way home, okay? 392 00:27:03,932 --> 00:27:05,787 Okay, boss. 393 00:27:05,852 --> 00:27:09,300 Oh, thank you, Edgar, and Merry Christmas. 394 00:27:09,373 --> 00:27:12,340 - Edgar. - Be right with you, lady. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Freeman! 395 00:27:12,412 --> 00:27:14,267 Edgar. 396 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:16,666 Oh, hi, honey! Excuse me. I gotta get back. 397 00:27:16,733 --> 00:27:19,383 But, Edgar, aren't you coming home soon? 398 00:27:19,452 --> 00:27:21,787 Ooh, I'm sorry, Louisa. We're staying open till midnight tonight. 399 00:27:21,853 --> 00:27:23,958 - What's the matter? - Nothing. 400 00:27:24,029 --> 00:27:26,266 I'm just a little lonely, that's all. 401 00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:28,405 What? In that big beautiful new house, lonely? 402 00:27:28,476 --> 00:27:31,705 I'm the only one who's ever in it. 403 00:27:31,772 --> 00:27:34,139 Edgar, it's Christmas. 404 00:27:34,204 --> 00:27:36,855 But, yes, and Christmas is business... big business. 405 00:27:36,924 --> 00:27:39,892 You're working entirely too hard, darling. 406 00:27:39,964 --> 00:27:43,063 Honey, by this time next year, we'll be so rich we can take a real vacation. 407 00:27:43,132 --> 00:27:45,466 - Italy? - Italy. 408 00:27:45,533 --> 00:27:48,183 - Merry Christmas! - Besides, what's the matter with work? 409 00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:50,838 - A little hard work never killed anybody. - Merry Christmas... 410 00:27:50,909 --> 00:27:53,014 - Hi there. - And a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year. 411 00:28:05,245 --> 00:28:07,317 Edgar's hard work included hitting out... 412 00:28:07,388 --> 00:28:09,876 with every modern sales device known to man... 413 00:28:09,949 --> 00:28:12,567 - And Crawleyville was his captive audience. 414 00:28:12,636 --> 00:28:14,359 We were millionaires overnight. 415 00:28:14,653 --> 00:28:17,074 Darling, I've checked the hotels in Rome... 416 00:28:17,148 --> 00:28:19,483 and I have the reservations for our vacation. 417 00:28:19,549 --> 00:28:21,720 I'm sorry, honey. That'll have to wait till next year. 418 00:28:21,788 --> 00:28:23,927 - Next year? - Yes, next year. 419 00:28:23,997 --> 00:28:25,884 In the meantime, get yourself a couple of art books... 420 00:28:25,948 --> 00:28:27,803 and a box of spaghetti. 421 00:28:27,868 --> 00:28:31,164 Oh! You liar! You cheat! 422 00:28:31,229 --> 00:28:33,717 - You deceived me! - Deceived you? 423 00:28:33,789 --> 00:28:36,276 What, you think I got a blond tootsie on the side or something? 424 00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:38,203 Oh! I just wish you had! 425 00:28:38,268 --> 00:28:40,603 At least then I'd know you were relaxing! 426 00:28:42,685 --> 00:28:45,172 Ohhh. 427 00:28:45,244 --> 00:28:48,692 Oh! You don't even have any feelings anymore. 428 00:28:48,764 --> 00:28:51,317 When we got married, you promised for better or for worse... 429 00:28:51,389 --> 00:28:54,040 that you'd never make good, that you'd always be nothing! 430 00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:57,721 Well, look at us! We're so rich we never even see each other anymore. 431 00:28:57,789 --> 00:29:02,523 Edgar! You're "frittering away your life in detail. Simplify, simplify." 432 00:29:02,589 --> 00:29:06,363 Simplify schmimmplify! A little hard work never killed anybody. 433 00:29:07,964 --> 00:29:11,389 Edgar was bewitched like the sorcerer's apprentice. 434 00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,516 - He couldn't stop. - Get me 300,000 feet of rust-proof chicken wire. 435 00:29:14,588 --> 00:29:16,443 What is with our order... 436 00:29:16,508 --> 00:29:18,777 on the Mother Goose atomic disintegrator kit? 437 00:29:18,844 --> 00:29:24,027 No, make 'em think they can't live without doorknobs that light up in the dark. Think big! 438 00:29:24,092 --> 00:29:26,994 Our musical mop which plays "Let Me Call You Sweetheart, I'm in Love with You," 439 00:29:27,068 --> 00:29:28,923 is a marketing failure. 440 00:29:28,988 --> 00:29:32,371 Get something happier like "Star and Stripes Forever" to guarantee musical mop-up. 441 00:29:32,444 --> 00:29:34,452 So it is just a simple equation! 442 00:29:34,525 --> 00:29:38,518 Service quotient "X" plus condensation-atmospheric quotient "Y"... 443 00:29:38,588 --> 00:29:40,595 plus smile-and-affability quotient "X"... 444 00:29:40,668 --> 00:29:43,156 show in the last three months a sales gain line... 445 00:29:43,228 --> 00:29:45,617 that has hop, hop, hopped right off the lousy board! 446 00:29:45,693 --> 00:29:48,213 In short, boys, we are becoming, by the figures... 447 00:29:48,284 --> 00:29:50,291 the big, bigger, biggest! 448 00:29:53,373 --> 00:29:57,748 Uh, "In re yours of the 23rd, I am impatiently awaiting your order." 449 00:29:57,821 --> 00:29:59,828 Uh, "Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 450 00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:02,835 "There can be no delays. If you insist on delaying, you can always be replaced. 451 00:30:02,908 --> 00:30:04,763 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 452 00:30:04,828 --> 00:30:06,683 "Since your delivery service has not been quick enough... 453 00:30:06,748 --> 00:30:08,603 "we are terminating our agreement with you. 454 00:30:08,668 --> 00:30:10,523 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 455 00:30:10,588 --> 00:30:13,371 "I'd like all those folders rushed out to the entire mailing list by Monday. 456 00:30:13,436 --> 00:30:15,291 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 457 00:30:15,356 --> 00:30:17,298 "Order canceled. We asked you for goods, you gave us promises. 458 00:30:17,373 --> 00:30:19,674 Hastily yours," uh, "Edgar Hopper." 459 00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:23,036 "All the displays in all the branch stores must be changed daily and rotated. 460 00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:24,955 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 461 00:30:25,020 --> 00:30:27,289 "That is my final word on the subject. Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 462 00:30:27,356 --> 00:30:29,658 "I've got to have 10,000 bedsprings at once. 463 00:30:29,724 --> 00:30:32,058 "Hostilely yours, Edgar Haper... Heaver... " uh, "Hop... " 464 00:30:32,125 --> 00:30:34,459 Uh, uh, "Hastily yours, the hop head," 465 00:30:34,524 --> 00:30:37,044 uh, "Hastily yours, the Boss." 466 00:30:37,116 --> 00:30:39,026 All right. I'd like that all in triplicate right away. 467 00:30:39,101 --> 00:30:41,818 Mr. Hopper, no one can work like this. The pace, it's too fast. 468 00:30:41,884 --> 00:30:44,153 W- We're not machines. We're human beings. 469 00:30:44,220 --> 00:30:47,995 There is no place here for anyone who cannot keep up with the pace of modern living. 470 00:30:48,060 --> 00:30:49,969 You are fired. 471 00:31:04,316 --> 00:31:10,674 Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. 472 00:31:44,220 --> 00:31:46,359 Yes? It happened! 473 00:31:46,428 --> 00:31:49,395 Get me my house, quick! 474 00:31:49,468 --> 00:31:51,770 You just closed the deal? My wife! Hurry! 475 00:31:51,836 --> 00:31:53,691 Leonard Crawley just handed over the keys. 476 00:31:53,756 --> 00:31:56,244 Louisa. Louisa! Louisa! 477 00:31:58,876 --> 00:32:01,080 - Hello. - Louisa, it happened. 478 00:32:01,148 --> 00:32:03,604 - What's happened? - The next time you walk down Main Street... 479 00:32:03,676 --> 00:32:05,531 there won't be any Crawley's there. 480 00:32:05,596 --> 00:32:07,484 It's gonna say "Hopper's." Louisa, I did it! 481 00:32:07,548 --> 00:32:09,653 I wiped him out! He's through in this town! 482 00:32:09,724 --> 00:32:12,986 I guess that's what you wanted, isn't it? 483 00:32:13,052 --> 00:32:17,460 Oh, I got what I wanted. And I got money, wealth, success, position. 484 00:32:17,532 --> 00:32:20,947 And next year, this town is gonna be called Hopperville. 485 00:32:21,020 --> 00:32:23,191 And how'd I get all these things? Through work. 486 00:32:23,260 --> 00:32:25,682 Just good hard work. 487 00:32:25,756 --> 00:32:28,145 Which all goes to prove... 488 00:32:28,220 --> 00:32:30,642 that a little hard work never killed anybody. 489 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:38,451 "And outside of the bequest... 490 00:32:38,524 --> 00:32:42,354 "of one roll of chicken wire to Leonard Crawley... 491 00:32:42,428 --> 00:32:45,657 "I bequeath my entire fortune and worldly goods... 492 00:32:45,724 --> 00:32:50,099 to my wife, Louisa May Foster Hopper." 493 00:32:50,172 --> 00:32:52,986 Edgar had left me approximately $2 million... 494 00:32:53,052 --> 00:32:54,906 in cash and securities. 495 00:32:54,972 --> 00:32:58,649 And as Thoreau probably never said, that's a lot oflettuce. 496 00:33:00,860 --> 00:33:02,712 But, uh, my dear... 497 00:33:02,780 --> 00:33:06,555 you... you mustn't think that this, in any way, makes you a witch. 498 00:33:06,620 --> 00:33:09,882 Oh, of course, it is tragic that Edgar died... 499 00:33:09,948 --> 00:33:12,185 but one swallow doesn't make a summer. 500 00:33:12,252 --> 00:33:15,547 Your, uh, behavior sounds exemplary to say the least, the very least. 501 00:33:15,612 --> 00:33:20,020 Oh, why did Edgar change that way? 502 00:33:20,092 --> 00:33:23,354 Oh, normal. Quite normal. 503 00:33:23,420 --> 00:33:26,267 You see, he was the, uh... the weakest of the tribe... 504 00:33:26,332 --> 00:33:28,820 who had somehow won the prize... you... 505 00:33:28,892 --> 00:33:30,899 without really having had to fight for you. 506 00:33:30,972 --> 00:33:32,979 Uh, latent feelings of inadequacy lay dormant... 507 00:33:33,052 --> 00:33:37,493 until he was triggered by Leonard parading before you in his rich, many-colored feathers. 508 00:33:37,564 --> 00:33:42,037 Edgar, naturally, felt impelled to get even more feathers... 509 00:33:42,108 --> 00:33:46,364 and driven by this ego drive, he smothered in his own, uh, feathers. 510 00:33:46,428 --> 00:33:49,243 It happens every day, you know. 511 00:33:49,308 --> 00:33:52,472 Tell me, um, what happened to the other feather... 512 00:33:52,540 --> 00:33:55,290 or, uh, fellow, this, uh, Leonard? 513 00:33:56,348 --> 00:33:58,520 I never heard from him again. 514 00:34:03,484 --> 00:34:06,418 - Dr. Steffanson... Aaah! Aaah! - Oh! 515 00:34:06,492 --> 00:34:08,565 Oh! Oh! Louisa! 516 00:34:08,636 --> 00:34:11,385 I'm sorry. Just relax! Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 517 00:34:13,532 --> 00:34:17,558 There. Now, please, please, ju-just relax. 518 00:34:17,628 --> 00:34:19,483 - Mm. Yes. - Try to relax. 519 00:34:19,548 --> 00:34:22,516 Uh, y-you were saying about, uh, Leonard. Leonard. 520 00:34:22,588 --> 00:34:25,402 W- Where did Leonard go? 521 00:34:25,468 --> 00:34:27,923 Uh, well... 522 00:34:29,084 --> 00:34:31,321 he just walked away like a plucked chicken. 523 00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:34,290 Uh-huh. Normal. Quite... Quite normal. 524 00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:37,746 Yeah. Well, I... 525 00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:40,602 I put all the money in the bank and... 526 00:34:40,668 --> 00:34:43,057 - I gave the house to Mama. - Uh-huh. 527 00:34:43,132 --> 00:34:47,605 Then I took a small allowance for myself and I got out of Crawleyville. 528 00:34:47,676 --> 00:34:49,531 Mm-hmm. 529 00:34:49,596 --> 00:34:53,819 I took a trip to Europe alone, to Paris. 530 00:34:53,884 --> 00:34:55,739 I wanted to forget... 531 00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:59,481 and I was determined never to marry again. 532 00:35:17,084 --> 00:35:19,572 The bus tours were thrilling and exhausting. 533 00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,511 Place de la, uh... 534 00:35:35,580 --> 00:35:37,751 des jardins de... 535 00:35:37,820 --> 00:35:39,827 Ohhh. 536 00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:43,249 - "Est-ce que... " - I ain't got all day, lady. Where do you wanna go? 537 00:35:43,323 --> 00:35:47,699 - Oh. You speak English. - All of us foreigners do. It's compulsory. 538 00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:50,586 You American? 539 00:35:50,651 --> 00:35:53,302 Nah, lady, I'm a Russian spy for the C.I.A. 540 00:35:53,372 --> 00:35:55,227 Well, what'll it be, huh... 541 00:35:55,292 --> 00:35:57,910 go to the American ghetto at the bar at the Georges Cinq... 542 00:35:57,980 --> 00:36:00,151 or go visit some of your phony friends... 543 00:36:00,220 --> 00:36:02,325 learning about life at Les Deux Magots? 544 00:36:04,380 --> 00:36:08,919 Well, frankly, I'd like to do either, but, uh, I don't know anybody here. 545 00:36:31,868 --> 00:36:33,756 Well? 546 00:36:33,820 --> 00:36:36,405 Oh. Well. 547 00:36:36,475 --> 00:36:39,323 Uh, well, I think I'd like to see some more pictures. 548 00:36:39,388 --> 00:36:41,843 I've just been through the Louvre, and that was wonderful. 549 00:36:41,916 --> 00:36:45,364 The Louvre. Now, what is that? It's the garbage pail of the arts. 550 00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:47,290 Et vous! Allez, allez! 551 00:36:47,356 --> 00:36:49,210 Démarrez! 552 00:36:49,276 --> 00:36:52,887 Well, uh, how about the show at the Galeries Lafayette? 553 00:36:52,956 --> 00:36:54,810 That's a department store, lady... 554 00:36:54,876 --> 00:36:57,526 but I'd rather hang up one of their face towels than some of that other junk. 555 00:36:57,595 --> 00:37:00,410 Listen, I'm sure you're an expert taxi driver... 556 00:37:00,475 --> 00:37:02,417 and I don't mean to belittle your profession... 557 00:37:02,492 --> 00:37:04,347 but why should I listen to your opinion on art? 558 00:37:05,916 --> 00:37:08,883 Because I happen to be one of five people today... 559 00:37:08,956 --> 00:37:10,811 who could definitely be called an artist. 560 00:37:10,876 --> 00:37:13,462 Maybe six, including Frieda. 561 00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:17,809 - Who's Frieda? - A chimpanzee on my block. 562 00:37:20,252 --> 00:37:22,641 Oh, that's great. That's great. 563 00:37:22,715 --> 00:37:24,919 I mean, you see a technique like that, it just wipes you out. 564 00:37:24,987 --> 00:37:27,443 - I go ape! - Uh, what is it? 565 00:37:27,515 --> 00:37:29,458 What is it? Innocence! 566 00:37:29,531 --> 00:37:32,848 Van Gogh had it, but, uh, then he had to chop his ear off... 567 00:37:32,924 --> 00:37:34,778 in order to free himself. 568 00:37:34,844 --> 00:37:38,259 - Free himself from what? - Intellectual hang-up. 569 00:37:38,332 --> 00:37:40,698 You know, if we could all do that, go back to a life like that... 570 00:37:40,764 --> 00:37:42,618 uncluttered, unhung... 571 00:37:42,684 --> 00:37:45,237 simple. 572 00:37:45,308 --> 00:37:48,603 - Oh. - Well, Frieda had the best teacher in the world, you know. 573 00:37:48,668 --> 00:37:50,773 - Rene Carrere there. - Ohhh. 574 00:37:50,844 --> 00:37:54,488 I'm very happy to meet you, Mr. Carrere. I'm Louisa May Hopper. 575 00:37:54,556 --> 00:37:59,706 You don't look anything like the Emile Desjardins it said you are in your cab. 576 00:37:59,772 --> 00:38:01,943 The name is Larry Flint. 577 00:38:02,012 --> 00:38:05,657 I just take Emile's cab out for him once a year... the day his wife has a baby. 578 00:38:05,724 --> 00:38:07,764 Frieda is finished now. 579 00:38:08,732 --> 00:38:10,936 It's a masterpiece! 580 00:38:11,004 --> 00:38:14,004 Boy! Look at the line! 581 00:38:14,076 --> 00:38:17,175 And the color and the sweep and the texture. 582 00:38:17,244 --> 00:38:19,665 Marvelous! 583 00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:22,904 A testament to the human spirit! 584 00:38:22,972 --> 00:38:25,460 Total primitive articulation! 585 00:38:25,532 --> 00:38:28,182 - Mwah! - Does Frieda's work sell? 586 00:38:28,251 --> 00:38:31,383 Sell? You think Frieda cares whether her work sells? 587 00:38:31,452 --> 00:38:33,307 You think I care whether my work sells? 588 00:38:33,372 --> 00:38:36,568 Typical American yardstick... the eternal buck! That's why I left the place. 589 00:38:36,635 --> 00:38:39,537 Well, Mr. Flint, I was only asking. Um... 590 00:38:39,611 --> 00:38:41,946 Aaah! What's that? 591 00:38:42,012 --> 00:38:44,565 She's at it again. 592 00:38:44,636 --> 00:38:46,937 Aaah! Well, is someone being murdered? Aaah! 593 00:38:47,004 --> 00:38:48,858 Are we going to the police? 594 00:38:51,452 --> 00:38:53,688 Hey, Larry. She shot three already! 595 00:38:58,844 --> 00:39:00,753 Hey, Polly, you're working again. 596 00:39:00,828 --> 00:39:03,065 Yeah. For weeks I thought I couldn't paint again... 597 00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:05,368 and now, suddenly, it's all come back! 598 00:39:10,364 --> 00:39:12,819 One of the greats. 599 00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:15,096 Ugh! That picture makes me sick! 600 00:39:15,164 --> 00:39:17,019 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 601 00:39:17,084 --> 00:39:19,059 Good. Feel sick. It should make you feel sick. 602 00:39:19,131 --> 00:39:20,986 It's destruction, pure and simple. 603 00:39:21,051 --> 00:39:24,117 That's what today is all about. That technique is her way of expressing it. 604 00:39:24,188 --> 00:39:27,733 Ugh! Aaah! 605 00:39:27,804 --> 00:39:31,633 What was I doing in Paris 4,500 miles away from home? 606 00:39:31,707 --> 00:39:34,839 It was fate. I had come to meet Larry Flint... 607 00:39:34,908 --> 00:39:36,915 an unspoiled, dedicated artist... 608 00:39:36,988 --> 00:39:40,283 searching in his own troubled way for the simple life. 609 00:39:40,347 --> 00:39:43,064 Suddenly, I knew I wanted to share that life. 610 00:39:44,956 --> 00:39:47,574 Well, I never did go back to the Ritz. 611 00:39:47,644 --> 00:39:49,498 I'll never forget the wedding. 612 00:39:49,564 --> 00:39:52,117 Frieda made a lovely bridesmaid. 613 00:39:52,188 --> 00:39:54,838 As a matter of fact, she caught the bridal bouquet and ate it. 614 00:39:56,956 --> 00:40:00,436 For a while, Larry and I led an idyllic life. 615 00:40:00,507 --> 00:40:04,882 As I look back on it, it all seems like one of those wickedly romantic French movies. 616 00:40:34,396 --> 00:40:37,876 To your health, Louisa! 617 00:41:15,835 --> 00:41:18,202 - Louisa! - Louisa! 618 00:42:17,723 --> 00:42:20,658 The rest of the time, I kept house. 619 00:42:20,730 --> 00:42:23,032 Ah, la vie de Bohème! 620 00:42:23,099 --> 00:42:25,204 Le sacrifice d'amour. 621 00:42:39,035 --> 00:42:42,296 - This week's dinner. - Oh, darling! 622 00:42:42,363 --> 00:42:44,664 Beautiful! 623 00:42:44,730 --> 00:42:47,600 - How did you... - Opus 752. 624 00:42:47,675 --> 00:42:51,449 But, darling, that's one of your most beautiful paintings. 625 00:42:51,515 --> 00:42:53,369 Well, we can see it anytime we go to the butcher shop. 626 00:42:53,435 --> 00:42:56,282 Monsieur Blanchard has got it hanging right over the tripe and the sweetbreads. 627 00:42:56,347 --> 00:43:01,137 - But I've told you so many times, in the United States in a bank... - Won't touch it... not a nickel! 628 00:43:01,211 --> 00:43:03,764 Money corrupts. Art erupts. 629 00:43:03,835 --> 00:43:06,006 Oh, that's a beautiful saying. 630 00:43:06,075 --> 00:43:08,147 It's immortal. I just made it up. 631 00:43:08,219 --> 00:43:11,765 Hey, uh, say, listen, why don't you bring some of that downstairs for me? 632 00:43:11,835 --> 00:43:13,842 Will you? I got some erupting to do. 633 00:43:44,154 --> 00:43:46,009 Darling, your soup's on. 634 00:43:46,074 --> 00:43:47,929 Soup. 635 00:43:53,691 --> 00:43:56,986 Darling, must you make so much noise when you paint? 636 00:43:58,075 --> 00:43:59,930 Ain't no other way, honey. 637 00:43:59,995 --> 00:44:01,850 Tools of my trade, like I told you. 638 00:44:01,915 --> 00:44:04,566 See, the sound, the sonic vibrations, they go in there. 639 00:44:04,635 --> 00:44:07,056 And then that gets transmitted to that photoelectric cell... 640 00:44:07,131 --> 00:44:10,448 which gives those dynamic impulses to the brushes and the arms... 641 00:44:10,522 --> 00:44:15,792 and it's a fusion of the mechanized world and a human soul. 642 00:44:15,867 --> 00:44:18,933 It's the only affirmative statement being made in the world of art today. 643 00:44:19,003 --> 00:44:21,753 L- I'm sorry. I forgot. 644 00:44:21,819 --> 00:44:23,706 It's a terrible thing, being so dumb. 645 00:44:23,771 --> 00:44:25,625 Well, you're really not so dumb, honey... 646 00:44:25,691 --> 00:44:28,374 'cause, to tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. 647 00:44:46,107 --> 00:44:47,961 I left the machine on. 648 00:44:48,027 --> 00:44:50,874 Larry! 649 00:44:50,939 --> 00:44:53,328 Larry. 650 00:44:53,403 --> 00:44:55,792 I know this probably sounds stupid to you... 651 00:44:55,867 --> 00:44:58,681 but what if we take a record... 652 00:44:58,747 --> 00:45:01,464 and we put it on and we play it through the, uh... the... 653 00:45:01,531 --> 00:45:04,182 - Sonic palette. - The sonic palette. 654 00:45:04,251 --> 00:45:07,033 Silly kid. Go ahead. 655 00:45:07,099 --> 00:45:08,954 Mendelssohn's "Spring Song"... 656 00:45:09,019 --> 00:45:10,928 that's my favorite. 657 00:46:14,299 --> 00:46:16,306 Larry? 658 00:46:16,379 --> 00:46:20,951 Larry. Oh, I like the ones you make with your own noises. 659 00:46:21,019 --> 00:46:23,091 They're the real you. 660 00:46:25,338 --> 00:46:28,535 Yeah, but, uh, I hate to waste a good canvas... 661 00:46:28,603 --> 00:46:31,505 so I might try to pay a bill with it. 662 00:46:31,579 --> 00:46:34,296 Maybe the butcher won't know the difference... 663 00:46:34,363 --> 00:46:36,785 between a real Larry Flint and a Mendelssohn. 664 00:46:40,794 --> 00:46:44,471 Hey, Louisa. Hey! Guess what. 665 00:46:44,538 --> 00:46:47,189 - What, darling? - I didn't leave it at the butcher's. 666 00:46:47,258 --> 00:46:50,706 I was there showing it to him, and there was this customer there buying pig's knuckles. 667 00:46:50,779 --> 00:46:55,351 So, um, he looks at the picture and then he puts on his glasses and he gives me his card... 668 00:46:55,419 --> 00:46:57,753 and he gives me 40,000 francs! 669 00:46:57,818 --> 00:47:00,306 That's almost $200. 670 00:47:00,379 --> 00:47:02,321 Oh. Why, that's wonderful, darling. 671 00:47:02,395 --> 00:47:05,046 All from that silly little idea. 672 00:47:05,115 --> 00:47:07,122 Yeah, well, I gotta go downstairs and get to work. 673 00:47:09,594 --> 00:47:12,791 I'll be listening for all those dear funny little noises. 674 00:47:53,531 --> 00:47:56,792 Aha! Das ist gute, Ludwig. 675 00:48:27,675 --> 00:48:29,976 The show was a smashing success. 676 00:48:30,042 --> 00:48:33,839 - Merci, madame. - Larry was famous and rich overnight. 677 00:48:33,915 --> 00:48:36,882 In the middle of this excitement, I was filled with apprehension... 678 00:48:36,954 --> 00:48:38,809 although I tried to conceal it. 679 00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:41,525 - Congratulations, Master. - I am insufferably honored. 680 00:48:41,595 --> 00:48:44,410 Frieda and I are very happy. 681 00:48:44,475 --> 00:48:47,770 At last, painting which is music and music which is painting. 682 00:48:47,834 --> 00:48:51,282 - How do you do it? - Oh, can anyone explain the workings of the inner man? 683 00:48:51,354 --> 00:48:55,445 Actually, the act of creation might best be described as pure animal instinct. 684 00:48:55,514 --> 00:48:59,377 If only Beethoven were alive to just hear this painting. 685 00:48:59,450 --> 00:49:01,938 Ah, yes. Pauvre Ludwig. I think he'd be very pleased. 686 00:49:02,010 --> 00:49:05,622 Your paintings make me want to kneel, pray and cry. 687 00:49:05,691 --> 00:49:07,633 Well, in that case, Baroness, why don't you buy one... 688 00:49:07,707 --> 00:49:09,681 then you can kneel and pray and cry at home. 689 00:49:09,754 --> 00:49:11,729 Sensation, Master! 690 00:49:11,803 --> 00:49:16,025 - Please. - Please. Please let me introduce you to all Paris. 691 00:49:16,091 --> 00:49:19,222 Well, thank you very much, but me wife and I don't take much to the high places. 692 00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:22,902 We'll just go back to our little garage and attic. I got work to do. 693 00:49:25,274 --> 00:49:27,860 But, of course, we didn't go back to the old place. 694 00:49:27,930 --> 00:49:29,970 We had a lovely house on Isle St. Louis. 695 00:49:30,043 --> 00:49:31,898 But Larry was never there. 696 00:49:31,963 --> 00:49:33,818 Ifhe wasn't entertaining at the gallery... 697 00:49:33,883 --> 00:49:36,250 he was at his studio just outside of Paris. 698 00:49:51,067 --> 00:49:53,456 I was tired ofbeing alone... 699 00:49:53,531 --> 00:49:56,913 tired of wearing these ridiculous outfits Larry painted for me. 700 00:49:56,986 --> 00:49:58,993 What kind oflife was this? 701 00:49:59,066 --> 00:50:01,074 I was just another canvas to him... 702 00:50:01,146 --> 00:50:03,481 just another walking catalog. 703 00:50:03,547 --> 00:50:06,035 Where was the simple life Larry and I had had... 704 00:50:06,107 --> 00:50:08,114 that vie de Bohème? 705 00:50:08,187 --> 00:50:10,194 He was obsessed with success. 706 00:50:10,267 --> 00:50:13,715 I had to get him back. I couldn't let that happen to me a second time. 707 00:50:13,787 --> 00:50:15,761 Suddenly, I had an idea. 708 00:50:36,506 --> 00:50:40,368 What are you doing up there? Get down! Down! 709 00:50:40,442 --> 00:50:43,409 What the... 710 00:50:45,115 --> 00:50:47,765 Stop that right now! Stop that! Stop that! 711 00:50:48,826 --> 00:50:51,892 Come on, now! Stop that! 712 00:50:53,755 --> 00:50:55,609 Louisa, what are you doing here? 713 00:50:55,675 --> 00:50:58,293 Darling, I haven't seen you in so long. 714 00:50:58,363 --> 00:51:01,177 What do you mean? We had dinner together only last week. What do you want? 715 00:51:01,243 --> 00:51:03,250 Uh, I have a surprise for you. 716 00:51:04,506 --> 00:51:06,416 Aha! 717 00:51:11,834 --> 00:51:14,355 Larry! 718 00:51:14,427 --> 00:51:19,123 Larry! 719 00:51:19,194 --> 00:51:21,081 Look who's here! 720 00:51:21,147 --> 00:51:24,213 - Well, how is Frieda? - Oh, painting better than ever. 721 00:51:24,283 --> 00:51:27,578 Larry. Larry, we have missed you, Larry. 722 00:51:27,642 --> 00:51:29,715 Oh, yes. I have missed you too. 723 00:51:34,810 --> 00:51:37,177 Listen, Larry. We have a picnic. 724 00:51:37,242 --> 00:51:40,373 Some bread and wine and cheese, and I thought we could all... 725 00:51:40,443 --> 00:51:43,257 No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm working against a deadline. 726 00:51:43,323 --> 00:51:46,770 This mural's for Neiman Marcus. That's a department store in Texas. 727 00:51:46,842 --> 00:51:49,592 150 thou! 728 00:51:49,658 --> 00:51:52,789 I've got to get it rolled up and on a jet by tomorrow. 729 00:51:55,578 --> 00:51:57,433 What are you doing up there? 730 00:51:57,498 --> 00:52:00,847 Aaargh! Oh, I never should have had these damn things made in Paris! 731 00:52:04,058 --> 00:52:06,873 What are you doing? Where are you going? Get back in line here! 732 00:52:06,938 --> 00:52:09,272 Stop that now! 733 00:52:09,338 --> 00:52:11,989 - I'm terribly sorry, Rene. I'm sorry. - Stop that! 734 00:52:12,058 --> 00:52:14,065 Get back there! Get back there! 735 00:52:14,138 --> 00:52:17,717 Larry! Larry, what is the matter with you? What is the matter? 736 00:52:17,787 --> 00:52:21,016 - Get back there! - Larry, why can't it be the way it used to be? 737 00:52:21,082 --> 00:52:24,246 Larry, I never dreamed this could happen! 738 00:52:24,315 --> 00:52:26,170 What is the matter with you, Larry? 739 00:52:26,235 --> 00:52:29,530 What is the matter with you? 740 00:52:33,594 --> 00:52:35,482 - Larry! - Rene, let's go. 741 00:53:10,395 --> 00:53:15,316 150 thou! Ohhh! 742 00:53:15,387 --> 00:53:17,045 What the... 743 00:53:17,115 --> 00:53:19,416 Aaaah! 744 00:53:40,155 --> 00:53:42,805 - En Anglais, s'il vous plait. - Pardon, madame. 745 00:53:42,875 --> 00:53:45,209 "I, Larry Flint, bequeath all my... " 746 00:53:45,274 --> 00:53:47,543 What Larry Flint had left me in cash... 747 00:53:47,610 --> 00:53:49,520 plus the sale ofhis remaining pictures... 748 00:53:49,595 --> 00:53:53,140 brought me in the neighborhood of $4 million in American money. 749 00:53:53,210 --> 00:53:56,667 It was an amount even Picasso wouldn't be ashamed of. 750 00:53:56,795 --> 00:54:00,439 After several months of trying to lose myself in Paris... 751 00:54:00,507 --> 00:54:02,362 I decided to leave. 752 00:54:11,451 --> 00:54:13,360 Oh! 753 00:54:14,907 --> 00:54:17,722 I was here an hour early and you kept me sitting in that lounge... 754 00:54:17,787 --> 00:54:21,136 and everyone said, "Well, don't worry. You'll hear the announcement." 755 00:54:21,211 --> 00:54:25,139 We phoned for them to hold up for you, but I guess they didn't get the message, madame. 756 00:54:25,211 --> 00:54:27,066 Believe me... Believe me, it's just... 757 00:54:27,131 --> 00:54:29,303 All my luggage is on that plane! 758 00:54:29,371 --> 00:54:31,858 Oh, I had my heart set on getting out of here tonight. 759 00:54:44,571 --> 00:54:47,506 - But I can't possibly stay in Paris for another day. - Madame... 760 00:54:47,579 --> 00:54:50,808 - You missed the last trolley back to town? - Oh, Mr. Anderson. 761 00:54:50,875 --> 00:54:52,730 Should I have that plane brought back? 762 00:54:52,795 --> 00:54:55,545 - No, no. I'll take it from here. - Thank you, Mr. Anderson. 763 00:54:55,611 --> 00:54:58,775 Excuse me, Mr. Anderson. Overseas call, sir. San Francisco. 764 00:54:58,843 --> 00:55:01,942 Okay. Excuse me. Hello? Uh-huh. 765 00:55:02,012 --> 00:55:03,986 I recognized him immediately... 766 00:55:04,059 --> 00:55:07,256 unbalding, glamorous Rod Anderson, Jr... 767 00:55:07,323 --> 00:55:09,657 millionaire tycoon, up from riches... 768 00:55:09,723 --> 00:55:13,618 inheriting 10 million from senior Anderson's maple syrup empire. 769 00:55:13,691 --> 00:55:16,757 Unmarried, he seemed to have no trouble in getting what he wanted... 770 00:55:16,827 --> 00:55:20,307 - in business or in pleasure. - Uh-huh. Yeah. Buy it. Thank you. 771 00:55:20,379 --> 00:55:22,583 Well, Mrs. Flint, where would you like to go? 772 00:55:22,651 --> 00:55:25,750 I was sorry to read of your loss. I saw you at one of your late husband's openings. 773 00:55:25,819 --> 00:55:28,536 I didn't buy anything, though. I don't like his paintings. 774 00:55:28,603 --> 00:55:31,702 Well, I don't like your airplanes. Where are you going? 775 00:55:31,772 --> 00:55:34,641 New York, Miami, Irkutsk... anyplace you'd like to go. 776 00:55:34,715 --> 00:55:36,984 I just flew in from New York this evening for some party. 777 00:55:37,051 --> 00:55:39,921 I stayed about a half an hour, and I'd had it. I don't like parties. 778 00:55:39,995 --> 00:55:42,865 So, you just put on your Superman suit and fly away home. 779 00:55:42,940 --> 00:55:47,315 That's right. And there it is... or don't you accept hitches from strange men? 780 00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:49,754 Oh, I know who you are, Mr. Anderson. 781 00:55:49,819 --> 00:55:51,674 I just don't know if I'll be very good company. 782 00:55:51,739 --> 00:55:54,106 I just got... I don't have much small talk. 783 00:55:54,171 --> 00:55:56,854 - I haven't any time for small talk either. - Excuse me, Mr. Anderson. 784 00:55:56,923 --> 00:56:00,371 - Overseas call. Hong Kong calling. - Excuse me. Uh-huh. 785 00:56:00,443 --> 00:56:04,982 Yeah. Uh-huh. All right. Sell it. Thank you. 786 00:56:05,051 --> 00:56:08,085 - Well, where shall it be? - New York. 787 00:56:08,155 --> 00:56:10,675 New York it is. 788 00:56:16,507 --> 00:56:20,435 What was I getting into? What was on that plane? 789 00:56:20,507 --> 00:56:23,573 I looked at the name of it. "Melissa." 790 00:56:23,643 --> 00:56:26,065 Naturally it would be named after a woman. 791 00:56:26,140 --> 00:56:28,278 I'd heard enough about those dissolute playboys. 792 00:56:45,307 --> 00:56:48,787 What are you doing after the orgy? 793 00:56:51,419 --> 00:56:54,354 The, uh, plane is ready. 794 00:56:54,427 --> 00:56:58,519 - Pretty name, "Melissa." - Someone I knew a long time ago. 795 00:57:16,827 --> 00:57:19,216 - Good evening, Mr. Anderson. - Good evening, Mark. 796 00:57:19,291 --> 00:57:23,699 Mark, this is Mrs. Flint. She'll be flying back with us. What sort of weather have we? 797 00:57:23,771 --> 00:57:27,383 - It's clear, sir, all the way through to New York. - Excellent. 798 00:57:32,475 --> 00:57:36,534 - Good evening, Willard. - Good evening, Mr. Anderson. 799 00:57:36,603 --> 00:57:38,840 - Willard, this is Mrs. Flint. - How do you do? 800 00:57:38,907 --> 00:57:41,296 - Mrs. Flint will be flying back with us. - Yes, sir. 801 00:57:41,371 --> 00:57:43,444 Her bags left on the 11:19. 802 00:57:43,515 --> 00:57:46,679 You have them picked up at Idlewild and delivered to... 803 00:57:46,747 --> 00:57:49,780 - Uh, the Montclair Hotel? - Is that your favorite? 804 00:57:49,851 --> 00:57:54,259 - Well, I've never, uh, been in New York. Only for a few hours en route. - Mm-hmm. 805 00:57:54,331 --> 00:57:58,455 - You better make that my suite at the St. Regis, Willard. - Very good, sir. 806 00:57:58,523 --> 00:58:00,759 It's reserved for visiting executives. 807 00:58:00,827 --> 00:58:04,274 I camp about 10 blocks further up the street on Fifth Avenue. 808 00:58:04,347 --> 00:58:07,893 - And Willard, have the chef come 'round and take Mrs. Flint's order, will you? - Yes, sir. 809 00:58:07,963 --> 00:58:10,930 You have anything you like. We have some rather fine wines aboard. 810 00:58:11,003 --> 00:58:14,102 - I'll, uh, just have my usual. - Yes, sir. 811 00:58:14,171 --> 00:58:17,466 - Whatever you have is all right with me. - Oh, really? 812 00:58:17,531 --> 00:58:22,714 My usual is two soft-boiled eggs, gluten toast and a glass of yogurt. 813 00:58:22,779 --> 00:58:27,034 And Willard, Mrs. Flint will have the, uh, crème Senegalese, steak Diane... 814 00:58:27,099 --> 00:58:32,282 pomme soufflé, profiteroles with, uh, chocolate sauce, and break out a bottle of La Tache. 815 00:58:32,347 --> 00:58:34,649 - Very good, sir. - And that'll be all, Willard. Thank you. 816 00:58:34,715 --> 00:58:38,098 Now, let's step into the bar. 817 00:58:38,171 --> 00:58:41,018 - I'll make you one of my very special martinis. - Oh, thank you, no. 818 00:58:41,083 --> 00:58:44,247 I'll have a, uh... a scotch on the "rotch." 819 00:58:44,315 --> 00:58:47,861 - Uh, on the rocks. - Oh. Very well. 820 00:58:48,955 --> 00:58:52,021 I was raised on maple syrup, you know. 821 00:58:52,091 --> 00:58:53,978 Cured me of drinking anything at all. 822 00:58:54,043 --> 00:58:58,036 - Oh. Well, then I won't have... - No, no, no. You go right ahead. Drink up. It's good for you. 823 00:59:00,539 --> 00:59:03,671 Telephone. Watkins in Chicago. 824 00:59:03,739 --> 00:59:05,648 Excuse me. 825 00:59:15,195 --> 00:59:17,945 You know, you really are rather beautiful... 826 00:59:18,011 --> 00:59:21,688 but, uh, is that your hair? 827 00:59:21,755 --> 00:59:23,697 Yeah. Hello. 828 00:59:23,771 --> 00:59:27,546 Okay. You just sit tight. No, no. I think Prescott's bluffing anyway. 829 00:59:27,611 --> 00:59:29,520 True, there was no orgy on board. 830 00:59:29,595 --> 00:59:32,443 - He wasn't the Diamond Jim Brady of thejet set. 831 00:59:32,507 --> 00:59:36,533 But he was arrogant, cold, sure ofhimself, ordering people around... 832 00:59:36,603 --> 00:59:40,826 another object lesson in what money and power can do to a human being. 833 00:59:40,891 --> 00:59:44,720 But for all of it, he really seemed to be a miserable and lonely man. 834 00:59:44,795 --> 00:59:50,425 Why he never even smiled. Not once had a smile lit that stoney, sunless face. 835 00:59:50,491 --> 00:59:53,076 - Well, a tycoon's work is never finished, is it? 836 00:59:53,146 --> 00:59:56,856 - That's what you call yourself, isn't it? A tycoon? - Absolutely. Absolutely. 837 00:59:56,923 --> 01:00:01,527 Every morning I get up and look at myself in the mirror, and I say, "Good morning, tycoon." 838 01:00:01,595 --> 01:00:04,050 I, uh... I know you don't approve of me, Mrs. Flint... 839 01:00:04,123 --> 01:00:06,773 but that need be of no concern to either one of us. 840 01:00:06,842 --> 01:00:09,395 I'm going into my office now. I've got some work to do. 841 01:00:09,466 --> 01:00:15,096 I promise not to interrupt by calling out points of passing interest or the weather conditions over Baffin Bay. 842 01:00:15,163 --> 01:00:18,512 I'll see you in New York, and don't forget to fasten your seat belt. 843 01:00:23,643 --> 01:00:26,676 What was wrong with my hat anyway? 844 01:00:29,691 --> 01:00:33,302 - Okay, Mark. I'll take her. - Okay, sir. 845 01:00:34,491 --> 01:00:36,695 I wondered who Melissa was. 846 01:00:36,763 --> 01:00:40,058 Some forgotten Hollywood starlet, no doubt. 847 01:00:46,651 --> 01:00:50,481 I was scared. I hated being alone during the takeoff. 848 01:01:42,619 --> 01:01:46,099 It was so beautiful looking down... 849 01:01:46,171 --> 01:01:49,913 the lights, the sky, the stars. 850 01:01:51,035 --> 01:01:53,620 How I wished I had someone to share it with... 851 01:01:53,691 --> 01:01:58,361 not this unsmiling, airborne cigar-store Indian. 852 01:01:59,866 --> 01:02:01,721 Then, the fatal thing happened. 853 01:02:07,259 --> 01:02:10,739 I'm glad you decided to join me. 854 01:02:10,811 --> 01:02:13,680 Nice to have someone to share it with, isn't it? 855 01:02:15,259 --> 01:02:17,114 Beautiful. 856 01:02:18,139 --> 01:02:21,936 Excuse me, sir. Telephone. Zurich. 857 01:02:22,011 --> 01:02:26,069 Willard, tell the gentleman I just stepped out. 858 01:02:39,707 --> 01:02:42,260 I never did get to the St. Regis. 859 01:02:42,331 --> 01:02:45,713 We were married in New York in his fabulous penthouse. 860 01:02:57,466 --> 01:03:00,630 Thank you, Timothy. 861 01:03:00,699 --> 01:03:02,554 Hello. 862 01:03:02,619 --> 01:03:06,710 Yes. Mm-hmm. 863 01:03:06,779 --> 01:03:09,593 Okay. 864 01:03:09,659 --> 01:03:12,047 I felt so safe at last. 865 01:03:12,122 --> 01:03:16,279 Rod had all the wealth and success he wanted long before he met me. 866 01:03:16,347 --> 01:03:19,576 I felt I couldn't possiblyjinx his life. 867 01:03:21,563 --> 01:03:24,246 - Uh-huh. As for the mysterious Melissa... 868 01:03:24,315 --> 01:03:26,736 I decided never to question him about it. 869 01:03:26,811 --> 01:03:29,200 I dismissed it from my life. 870 01:03:35,099 --> 01:03:38,165 A little trinket from Harry Winston's. 871 01:03:38,235 --> 01:03:41,618 As I look back on it now, our life together was like... 872 01:03:41,690 --> 01:03:47,092 one of those glamorous Hollywood movies all about love and what'll she wear next. 873 01:04:16,987 --> 01:04:19,856 Remind me to tell you later that I love you. 874 01:04:23,739 --> 01:04:26,008 I'll remind you if you'll remind me. 875 01:05:47,131 --> 01:05:49,848 - Louisa! - Hello, Doris. 876 01:05:49,914 --> 01:05:52,816 - Now, Louisa, you look divine. - Oh, Chester, thank you. 877 01:05:57,050 --> 01:06:00,793 - You remember Peter, don't you, darling? - Oh, but of course. 878 01:06:03,899 --> 01:06:06,452 We met at El Morocco the other evening. 879 01:06:06,523 --> 01:06:09,523 - You play beautifully. So nice of you to come. - Thank you. 880 01:06:09,595 --> 01:06:13,140 - That's a beautiful dress. - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 881 01:06:13,210 --> 01:06:18,742 It's my favorite... my very own favorite. 882 01:06:18,811 --> 01:06:20,666 I wanna talk to you. 883 01:06:20,731 --> 01:06:23,349 - What is it, dear? - You remind me to tell you later... 884 01:06:23,418 --> 01:06:25,523 that I love you. 885 01:06:25,594 --> 01:06:28,115 - Rod! - Nicky! 886 01:06:30,427 --> 01:06:32,336 Louisa! 887 01:06:35,258 --> 01:06:37,909 Louisa, darling, here is someone you simply must meet. 888 01:06:45,979 --> 01:06:48,793 - Darling, now you know Nicky Cathcart... - Wonderful to meet you. 889 01:06:48,859 --> 01:06:50,713 - Mrs. Cathcart. - How do you do? 890 01:06:50,779 --> 01:06:53,910 - Louisa. - I do hope the two of you can come down to us for a shoot. 891 01:06:53,978 --> 01:06:57,327 Mmm! Love to. We always get a bang out of a shoot. 892 01:06:58,971 --> 01:07:01,905 Remind me... to tell you... 893 01:07:01,978 --> 01:07:02,927 that... 894 01:07:03,003 --> 01:07:03,985 I... 895 01:07:04,058 --> 01:07:05,335 love... 896 01:07:05,402 --> 01:07:07,312 you. 897 01:07:22,938 --> 01:07:26,582 I'll remind you just as soon as I change my nightgown. 898 01:07:35,099 --> 01:07:37,488 Lord Kensington, Lady Kensington... 899 01:07:37,563 --> 01:07:39,417 may I present my wife, Louisa? 900 01:07:39,483 --> 01:07:41,337 - How do you do? - So nice. 901 01:07:41,403 --> 01:07:43,257 - Delighted. - How do you do? 902 01:07:43,323 --> 01:07:45,711 We're so happy you could fly in for the evening. 903 01:07:45,786 --> 01:07:50,293 - I hope the two of you can come down to the abbey this weekend. - Oh, we'd love to. 904 01:07:50,363 --> 01:07:53,178 Oh, but darling, I haven't a thing to wear. 905 01:07:56,634 --> 01:08:01,620 - I'm reminding you to remind me to tell you that I love you. - Thank you for reminding me. 906 01:08:02,650 --> 01:08:04,625 I'm reminding you... 907 01:08:04,699 --> 01:08:08,277 that you said to remind me to tell me that you love me. 908 01:08:08,347 --> 01:08:10,965 Thank you for reminding me. 909 01:08:11,034 --> 01:08:13,106 Thank you. 910 01:08:18,299 --> 01:08:21,430 - I love you. - I love you. 911 01:08:59,290 --> 01:09:03,119 - Why didn't he tell me before? - Hello, darling. I'm sorry I'm late. 912 01:09:03,194 --> 01:09:06,162 Well you tell him that he's through. This is total disaster. 913 01:09:06,234 --> 01:09:08,623 How could it possibly happen to me? 914 01:09:08,698 --> 01:09:10,705 - What happened? - Louisa... 915 01:09:10,778 --> 01:09:13,167 ever since we got married, I've been neglecting my business. 916 01:09:13,242 --> 01:09:17,749 I've been so much in love with you that I've paid no attention to it at all. I've let it slide. 917 01:09:17,819 --> 01:09:22,837 - Well, I've just been reading these business reports. - Are you faced with ruin? 918 01:09:22,906 --> 01:09:26,223 I am three times as rich as I was the day we got married. 919 01:09:26,298 --> 01:09:28,153 Oh, no! 920 01:09:28,218 --> 01:09:31,993 Nobody triples the business of Anderson Enterprises but Rod Anderson. 921 01:09:32,058 --> 01:09:34,262 Someone has been giving orders... 922 01:09:34,330 --> 01:09:37,145 somewhere, somebody in my organization. 923 01:09:37,210 --> 01:09:39,065 Why, that's absolute treachery. 924 01:09:39,130 --> 01:09:42,392 Someone's been giving orders behind my back! Imagine that? 925 01:09:42,458 --> 01:09:45,175 If I wanna lose a fortune, I'll lose a fortune. 926 01:09:45,242 --> 01:09:49,520 If I wanna triple it, I'll triple it... no one else. 927 01:09:49,595 --> 01:09:52,050 I'm gonna get to every one of my offices all over the world... 928 01:09:52,123 --> 01:09:55,025 and I'm gonna find out who's been running things behind my back. 929 01:09:55,098 --> 01:09:59,222 Triple it? How could he possibly triple it? Who can the guy be? 930 01:09:59,290 --> 01:10:03,087 You spend years training employees, executives, to serve you faithfully... 931 01:10:03,162 --> 01:10:06,545 and they stab you behind the back? 932 01:10:06,618 --> 01:10:10,066 That's loyalty for you. Willard? 933 01:10:10,138 --> 01:10:14,099 Willard, you make arrangements for trips to, uh, Sidney, Johannesburg... 934 01:10:14,170 --> 01:10:16,025 Hong Kong and Bombay. 935 01:10:16,090 --> 01:10:19,472 I'm looking for somebody, and I'm not coming back until I find them. 936 01:10:19,546 --> 01:10:21,848 I knew there was no man to look for. 937 01:10:21,914 --> 01:10:23,987 It was only me and my witch's curse. 938 01:10:25,658 --> 01:10:29,270 Sleep was impossible. Next morning, Rod would go out of my life forever... 939 01:10:29,338 --> 01:10:31,705 and meet his doom somewhere. 940 01:10:31,770 --> 01:10:35,764 I was terrified. I tried to think of a way to save him. 941 01:10:44,794 --> 01:10:48,918 "Melissa. Happy days on his uncle's farm." 942 01:10:48,986 --> 01:10:52,281 The simple life. 943 01:11:03,834 --> 01:11:08,024 - Moo. - Hmm? 944 01:11:08,090 --> 01:11:11,090 Moo. 945 01:11:11,162 --> 01:11:13,551 Melissa? 946 01:11:13,627 --> 01:11:18,547 Melissa. Mmm. 947 01:11:26,650 --> 01:11:29,334 We had a simple, modest little farm... 948 01:11:29,402 --> 01:11:32,468 two dozen leghorns for me to look after... 949 01:11:32,538 --> 01:11:37,142 And a cow named Melissa... Melissa I... and a bull named Melrose. 950 01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:40,178 Well, Ma, how do I look? 951 01:11:40,250 --> 01:11:42,105 The neighbors all say I look real fine. 952 01:11:42,170 --> 01:11:44,953 Wonderful, Pa. Real elegant. 953 01:11:45,018 --> 01:11:47,887 Have one more nip of our local cider. 954 01:11:47,962 --> 01:11:51,475 Well, it's my fourth, and I'm not a drinkin' man, but seein' as how it's welcomin' day... 955 01:11:51,546 --> 01:11:53,302 - here's to ya. - Hey, thank ya. 956 01:11:53,370 --> 01:11:56,818 Good day, Mr. Anderson. Good day, Mrs. Anderson. 957 01:11:56,890 --> 01:11:59,224 - Have another drink. - No, I'm drivin'. 958 01:12:02,650 --> 01:12:05,301 - We'll see you, Rod. - Come on. Get him up. 959 01:12:05,371 --> 01:12:08,120 - Come on. Let's get him to the wagon. - Come on. Let's go. 960 01:12:08,186 --> 01:12:10,041 No more. 961 01:12:13,530 --> 01:12:17,807 I'm sure glad I listened to you. 962 01:12:17,882 --> 01:12:19,857 This is our first day here, and already... 963 01:12:19,930 --> 01:12:22,832 - I realize that this is what I always wanted to come back to. 964 01:12:22,906 --> 01:12:26,680 And you made me do it. 965 01:12:26,746 --> 01:12:29,266 Uh-oh. Feedin' time. 966 01:12:29,338 --> 01:12:33,233 I'll go feed Melissa, and you milk the chickens, huh? 967 01:12:33,306 --> 01:12:36,983 - I've been waitin' a lot of years for that. - Can't it wait till tomorrow? 968 01:12:37,051 --> 01:12:40,117 That shows how much you know about farmin'. You don't milk her now, and she'll be... 969 01:12:40,186 --> 01:12:42,390 Mooin' all night long. 970 01:12:42,458 --> 01:12:44,367 Let's go. 971 01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,708 Hello, Melissa, baby. 972 01:12:58,778 --> 01:13:00,632 Oh, sw... 973 01:13:02,618 --> 01:13:04,952 How're you doing, honey? 974 01:13:05,018 --> 01:13:07,255 Just great, honey. 975 01:13:07,322 --> 01:13:10,420 'Atsa girl, Melissa, baby. Mmm. 976 01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:17,168 Whoa, baby. Whoa, Melissa. That's a girl. 977 01:13:19,226 --> 01:13:21,299 Melrose! 978 01:13:21,370 --> 01:13:23,225 Forgive me! 979 01:13:41,050 --> 01:13:44,017 "And all the rest of my holdings, cash and securities... " 980 01:13:44,090 --> 01:13:45,945 Several months after the funeral... 981 01:13:46,010 --> 01:13:48,825 I had to listen to the grim business details. 982 01:13:48,890 --> 01:13:53,080 Rod had sold out everything so quickly that his fortune was pitifully reduced. 983 01:13:53,146 --> 01:13:55,731 It came to a mere $ 150 million. 984 01:13:55,802 --> 01:14:01,105 I felt alone and lost, and I was determined to live alone for the rest of my life. 985 01:14:01,178 --> 01:14:05,007 It was the only fair thing to do. 986 01:14:25,978 --> 01:14:29,808 Isn't there any way of getting a cup of coffee here? 987 01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:33,362 # Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here # 988 01:14:33,434 --> 01:14:35,027 What's your name, Miss? 989 01:14:35,098 --> 01:14:37,465 Uh, Louisa May Hop... 990 01:14:37,530 --> 01:14:39,385 Hop... 991 01:14:39,450 --> 01:14:43,378 Hop... Fli... Anderson. 992 01:14:43,450 --> 01:14:46,320 # Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here # 993 01:14:46,394 --> 01:14:50,256 #Asked Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson # 994 01:14:50,330 --> 01:14:53,811 # Pretty eyes, pretty hair And she asked so clear # 995 01:14:53,882 --> 01:14:57,711 # Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here ## 996 01:15:02,522 --> 01:15:05,075 Uh, Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson, huh? 997 01:15:05,146 --> 01:15:07,185 That's a funny name. 998 01:15:08,698 --> 01:15:11,283 It's just Anderson. 999 01:15:12,314 --> 01:15:15,216 Uh, please stay, Miss Anderson. 1000 01:15:15,290 --> 01:15:17,679 I'll get you a cup of coffee. 1001 01:15:17,754 --> 01:15:20,951 Clancy must... must be out back somewhere. I'm in here all the time. 1002 01:15:21,978 --> 01:15:23,832 Say, uh... 1003 01:15:23,898 --> 01:15:26,134 I, uh... I hope you didn't think I was being fresh. 1004 01:15:26,202 --> 01:15:28,242 That's just part of my act, you know. 1005 01:15:28,314 --> 01:15:30,703 I get a list of the customers' names each night before the show... 1006 01:15:30,778 --> 01:15:33,811 and then I make up little rhymes using all their names. 1007 01:15:33,882 --> 01:15:36,566 It's one my specialties, that ad-lib stuff. 1008 01:15:36,634 --> 01:15:38,488 Coffee? 1009 01:15:38,554 --> 01:15:40,408 Sugar? 1010 01:15:40,474 --> 01:15:44,467 Danish? Serve the Danish. 1011 01:15:44,538 --> 01:15:47,221 And for a big finale, a napkin. 1012 01:15:47,290 --> 01:15:49,810 There's our Pinky. Always at it. 1013 01:15:49,882 --> 01:15:51,824 Pinky, ain't you ever off the floor? 1014 01:15:51,898 --> 01:15:53,872 Why, it's Herman Bodkin, I do declare... 1015 01:15:53,946 --> 01:15:56,368 and Ernie Wilkens who's with him there. 1016 01:15:56,442 --> 01:15:59,475 I said with a grin, "Ernie, your hair is gettin' thin," 1017 01:15:59,546 --> 01:16:02,929 and Ernie answered, "Who wants fat hair?" 1018 01:16:04,890 --> 01:16:09,014 - Ah, it's true. I, uh, never seem to stop being on. 1019 01:16:09,082 --> 01:16:11,831 Oh, I liked it. 1020 01:16:11,898 --> 01:16:14,199 You performing around here? 1021 01:16:14,265 --> 01:16:17,681 Am I performing around here? 1022 01:16:18,713 --> 01:16:20,753 Look. 1023 01:16:22,682 --> 01:16:25,016 That's me... Pinky Benson. 1024 01:16:26,042 --> 01:16:28,049 - Can I get you anything else? - Mm-mm. 1025 01:16:28,122 --> 01:16:30,904 - It's on me. - No, thank you. 1026 01:16:31,930 --> 01:16:33,785 - What's doin'? - I got it, Clance. 1027 01:16:33,850 --> 01:16:36,152 Thank you. 1028 01:16:36,218 --> 01:16:39,993 Say, uh, if you're not busy later, would you like to watch my act? 1029 01:16:41,338 --> 01:16:43,477 I hadn't decided what to do later. 1030 01:16:43,546 --> 01:16:47,343 I even thought of staying in this town for a few days till I made up my mind. 1031 01:16:47,418 --> 01:16:49,556 Well? 1032 01:16:51,610 --> 01:16:55,406 Well, uh... 1033 01:16:55,481 --> 01:16:57,783 - Well, sure. I'll come. - Good. 1034 01:16:57,849 --> 01:17:00,238 Um, I gotta kinda rush over there right now. 1035 01:17:00,314 --> 01:17:03,729 It takes me two hours for my props and to put on my costume and makeup. 1036 01:17:03,802 --> 01:17:06,322 Oh. Really? How's it going? 1037 01:17:06,393 --> 01:17:10,932 Well, the management must love me. I've been playing there for 14 years. 1038 01:17:13,306 --> 01:17:15,161 See you later. 1039 01:17:20,730 --> 01:17:22,901 - Who ordered the well-done, green peas, succotash? 1040 01:17:22,969 --> 01:17:25,303 - Here. Over here. - Medium-well. 1041 01:17:25,370 --> 01:17:27,890 - Side of spinach. - Hey. I ordered the creamed spinach. 1042 01:17:27,962 --> 01:17:32,850 Ah, that's better for you. No cholesterol. Mashed potatoes, well-done. 1043 01:17:32,921 --> 01:17:37,078 - One rare, hashed brown! - I ordered French fries. Take it back! 1044 01:17:37,146 --> 01:17:39,601 - Ah, you always make such a fuss. - Ah, shut up! 1045 01:17:39,674 --> 01:17:45,205 I agree. But stuff yourself, honey. No man wants a fistful of bones. 1046 01:17:45,274 --> 01:17:50,325 - Okay! Okay! Here he is... for your dinner pleasure... 1047 01:17:50,394 --> 01:17:55,216 Jersey City's own uh-Pinky uh-Benson! 1048 01:18:00,954 --> 01:18:03,572 Well, good evening, friends and neighbors. 1049 01:18:03,641 --> 01:18:07,416 - Hey, who do we have here with us tonight? The Shimkins. 1050 01:18:07,481 --> 01:18:12,369 Rosie Shimkin was able to get a ringside table. She's wearing a rose in her hat. 1051 01:18:12,441 --> 01:18:15,856 - And with her is her husband, Matt. And that is that. 1052 01:18:15,929 --> 01:18:19,225 Dennis Horner is sittin'over there in the corner. Hiya, Dennis! 1053 01:18:19,290 --> 01:18:22,192 And Peggy Norton... Peggy Norton and her sister Min. 1054 01:18:22,266 --> 01:18:25,430 Chewin' on those bones like Rin Tin Tin. 1055 01:18:25,498 --> 01:18:28,247 So, welcome, all! Welcome, one. 1056 01:18:28,313 --> 01:18:31,313 Lend an ear and have some fun. 1057 01:18:31,385 --> 01:18:36,535 - # I think that you and I should get acquainted # 1058 01:18:36,601 --> 01:18:40,180 - # I'll just come up to you and ask your name # - What I say is live... 1059 01:18:40,250 --> 01:18:43,894 - # I'll tell you mine, and I'll say, Isn't the weather fine # - and leave me alone. 1060 01:18:43,961 --> 01:18:48,271 #And aren't you really glad so glad that you came # 1061 01:18:48,346 --> 01:18:52,240 #Then after you and I become acquainted # 1062 01:18:52,313 --> 01:18:56,143 # I'll ask you if you'd like to stay a while # 1063 01:18:56,218 --> 01:18:59,829 #You'll say you would You'll give me a smile # 1064 01:18:59,897 --> 01:19:04,021 # Oh, goody-good You'll make my evenin' worthwhile # 1065 01:19:04,089 --> 01:19:07,864 # Before our little rendezvous ends # 1066 01:19:07,929 --> 01:19:11,278 #We won't just be acquainted # 1067 01:19:11,353 --> 01:19:15,215 #We'll be the very very best of friends ## 1068 01:19:35,738 --> 01:19:39,894 - I could see why the management loved him. 1069 01:19:39,961 --> 01:19:44,696 He didn't interfere one bit with the sale of food and liquor. 1070 01:20:12,537 --> 01:20:15,636 It was the worst act I'd ever seen. 1071 01:20:15,706 --> 01:20:18,127 Just looking at Pinky made me want to cry. 1072 01:20:18,201 --> 01:20:20,340 But he was so happy and untroubled. 1073 01:20:20,409 --> 01:20:23,027 And I feel at home here, as you can see. 1074 01:20:23,097 --> 01:20:26,894 And in all the 14 years, you've never wanted to play anywhere else? 1075 01:20:26,970 --> 01:20:29,620 - Oh, you mean, uh, the big time? - Mm-hmm. 1076 01:20:29,689 --> 01:20:33,912 Boy, why does everybody seem to think you have to wanna play the big time? 1077 01:20:33,977 --> 01:20:36,312 Why? You get to the top of the ladder... 1078 01:20:36,377 --> 01:20:39,060 you're a slave to your fans, you got no life of your own. 1079 01:20:39,129 --> 01:20:42,871 Then you gotta start worryin' about staying up there. Oh, no. Not for me. 1080 01:20:42,938 --> 01:20:45,174 I'm happy doing what I'm doing. 1081 01:20:45,241 --> 01:20:48,089 And you know what? I teach dancing to kids in the daytime. 1082 01:20:48,153 --> 01:20:51,765 - That's nice. - Yeah. My, uh... My wife wanted me to get ahead. 1083 01:20:51,834 --> 01:20:55,925 She wanted me to get an agent, press agent, publicity, audition, push, push, push. 1084 01:20:55,993 --> 01:20:59,222 - Your wife? - Yeah. I was married once. We were... We were a team. 1085 01:20:59,289 --> 01:21:01,875 She always wanted to be way up there, so I let her go. 1086 01:21:01,945 --> 01:21:05,807 - And today that woman is Greta Garbo. 1087 01:21:05,882 --> 01:21:10,388 Nah. She married a guy with a lotta dough and she left the business. 1088 01:21:10,457 --> 01:21:12,978 I don't blame her. 1089 01:21:13,050 --> 01:21:15,155 I don't blame her at all. 1090 01:21:16,377 --> 01:21:20,338 I was just a guy who wanted the simple kinda life. 1091 01:21:22,713 --> 01:21:24,568 #And that's the story of my life # 1092 01:21:24,633 --> 01:21:28,015 #As told to Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop # 1093 01:21:28,089 --> 01:21:30,391 # Hop-Fli-Anderson Boom Boom, Be-Doom Be-Doom ## 1094 01:21:32,665 --> 01:21:35,763 Oh. 1095 01:21:51,289 --> 01:21:55,413 Louisa May Hop-Fli-Anderson Benson. 1096 01:21:55,481 --> 01:21:57,750 Yes. We were married... happily married. 1097 01:21:57,818 --> 01:22:00,949 And we lived on our lovely houseboat on the Hudson. 1098 01:22:01,017 --> 01:22:03,570 I told him I had a great deal of money somewhere... 1099 01:22:03,641 --> 01:22:05,528 but both of us forgot all about it. 1100 01:22:05,593 --> 01:22:08,627 Ho! # Good mornin', Mrs. Benson Good mornin' to you # 1101 01:22:08,697 --> 01:22:11,217 # Good mornin', Mrs. Benson How do you do # 1102 01:22:11,289 --> 01:22:14,137 # I'll give you just one kiss Then I'll stop # 1103 01:22:14,201 --> 01:22:17,397 # 'Cause I gotta give our little boat a mop, mop, mop ## 1104 01:22:22,521 --> 01:22:25,074 As I look back on it now... 1105 01:22:25,145 --> 01:22:27,862 our life together was like a gay musical number... 1106 01:22:27,929 --> 01:22:30,744 from one of those big, Hollywood movie musicals. 1107 01:22:30,809 --> 01:22:34,738 # On our little houseboat # 1108 01:22:34,809 --> 01:22:40,111 # Built for two # 1109 01:22:41,145 --> 01:22:44,942 #Tiny little houseboat # 1110 01:22:45,017 --> 01:22:48,791 #Just for me # 1111 01:22:48,857 --> 01:22:52,272 #And you # 1112 01:23:03,609 --> 01:23:08,148 #All alone together # 1113 01:23:08,217 --> 01:23:11,926 # Only me # 1114 01:23:11,994 --> 01:23:16,336 #And yo-o-ou # 1115 01:23:16,409 --> 01:23:22,126 # My Darling # 1116 01:23:22,202 --> 01:23:25,846 - # On our houseboat on the Hudson Alone, alone together # 1117 01:23:25,913 --> 01:23:29,426 # Life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather # 1118 01:23:29,497 --> 01:23:32,880 # Far from city streets and far from hills of heather # 1119 01:23:32,953 --> 01:23:36,117 # Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time # 1120 01:23:36,185 --> 01:23:38,258 #Well, heigh-ho, let's go # 1121 01:23:38,329 --> 01:23:40,184 # Life is just a vaudeville show # 1122 01:23:40,249 --> 01:23:42,104 - # Sing and dance # - #Take a chance # 1123 01:24:43,417 --> 01:24:46,832 #All alone together # 1124 01:24:46,905 --> 01:24:50,036 # Only me # 1125 01:24:50,105 --> 01:24:53,105 - #And you # # On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone # 1126 01:24:53,177 --> 01:24:57,781 #Alone together, life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather # 1127 01:24:57,849 --> 01:25:01,144 # Far from city streets and far from hills of heather # 1128 01:25:01,209 --> 01:25:04,525 # Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time # 1129 01:25:04,601 --> 01:25:09,173 - # Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time # 1130 01:26:12,697 --> 01:26:15,086 # On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone # 1131 01:26:15,161 --> 01:26:19,252 #Alone together, life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather # 1132 01:26:19,321 --> 01:26:22,866 # Far from city streets and far from hills of heather # 1133 01:26:22,936 --> 01:26:27,693 # Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the # 1134 01:26:27,769 --> 01:26:30,803 #Time # 1135 01:26:30,873 --> 01:26:34,386 # Oh, anchors aweigh and hit the deck, Louisa # 1136 01:26:34,456 --> 01:26:37,872 # It's ship ahoy We're on the town with you # 1137 01:26:37,945 --> 01:26:41,556 #You follow the fleet and tars and spars, Louisa # 1138 01:26:41,625 --> 01:26:45,106 # For us you are the captain and the crew # 1139 01:26:52,537 --> 01:26:59,350 # Oh, how we love Louisa # 1140 01:26:59,416 --> 01:27:05,133 # She's sent from heaven up above # 1141 01:27:06,169 --> 01:27:09,485 #Just like the tower of Pisa # 1142 01:27:09,561 --> 01:27:12,376 #There's only one Louisa # 1143 01:27:12,441 --> 01:27:15,987 # L-O # 1144 01:27:16,057 --> 01:27:19,352 #V-E # 1145 01:27:19,417 --> 01:27:24,371 # Love ## 1146 01:27:31,769 --> 01:27:34,703 Love. 1147 01:27:34,809 --> 01:27:37,842 Then it began to happen. 1148 01:27:37,913 --> 01:27:41,907 We were planning a birthday party for Pinky after the last show. 1149 01:27:41,977 --> 01:27:44,824 Well, I guess we got everything: The hot dogs, the rolls, and... 1150 01:27:44,888 --> 01:27:47,736 - Hey! Look at the clock. I gotta get made up. - Oh, you've got time. 1151 01:27:47,801 --> 01:27:50,135 No. I don't. I have less than two hours. 1152 01:27:50,201 --> 01:27:53,845 It takes you two hours to get out of that makeup. You'll be late for your party. 1153 01:27:53,913 --> 01:27:57,229 - Couldn't you just skip it? - Skip the performance? 1154 01:27:57,305 --> 01:28:00,152 No. Skip the makeup, I mean. Do it just as you are. 1155 01:28:00,217 --> 01:28:02,191 Oh, don't be silly, darling. The makeup's the whole act. 1156 01:28:02,265 --> 01:28:04,370 - Here's the bucket of lemonade, Pinky. - Thank you. 1157 01:28:04,441 --> 01:28:08,370 Thank you. Mr. Trentino, because of the party... 1158 01:28:08,440 --> 01:28:12,499 would it be all right if... if Pinky went on tonight without putting on all his stuff? 1159 01:28:12,569 --> 01:28:16,082 Sure! You don't wanna miss your own birthday party. 1160 01:28:16,153 --> 01:28:18,673 - Okay, honey? - Oh, uh... 1161 01:28:18,744 --> 01:28:21,330 I'll feel... I'll feel naked. L... 1162 01:28:21,401 --> 01:28:23,954 Well, leave out the verses too. 1163 01:28:24,025 --> 01:28:26,578 Leave out the verses? 1164 01:28:26,649 --> 01:28:28,504 Just this once. 1165 01:28:30,616 --> 01:28:34,642 Well, all right, on account of the party, but... 1166 01:28:34,712 --> 01:28:36,949 I feel funny. L... 1167 01:28:37,017 --> 01:28:39,635 I'm gonna lay an awful egg. 1168 01:28:39,705 --> 01:28:41,560 - And now for your enjoyment... - Who ordered the well-done... 1169 01:28:41,625 --> 01:28:44,495 - New Jersey's own ha-ha boy... - green peas, succotash? 1170 01:28:44,568 --> 01:28:46,957 - Uh-Pinky uh-Benson! - Let's get outta here. 1171 01:28:47,033 --> 01:28:49,903 Waiter, check! 1172 01:28:52,281 --> 01:28:56,307 Well, I... 1173 01:28:56,377 --> 01:28:58,516 - Frankie dropped him in the second... 1174 01:28:58,585 --> 01:29:00,789 - because I said, "Hey... " - It was the fifth. 1175 01:29:00,857 --> 01:29:03,574 - I was there. - Mr. Trentino, may we have some relish? 1176 01:29:03,641 --> 01:29:05,496 Sure. Help yourself. 1177 01:29:05,561 --> 01:29:09,106 - One rare, hashed brown. - I ordered French fries! 1178 01:29:13,849 --> 01:29:18,770 - # I think that you and I should get acquainted # - Who ordered the well-done? 1179 01:29:18,841 --> 01:29:23,118 # I'll just come up to you and ask your name # 1180 01:29:23,193 --> 01:29:28,114 # I'll tell you mine, I'll say isn't the weather fine # 1181 01:29:28,185 --> 01:29:33,422 - #And aren't you really glad so glad that you came # 1182 01:29:33,497 --> 01:29:38,614 - #Then after you and I become acquainted # 1183 01:29:38,680 --> 01:29:41,069 # I'll ask you if you'd like to stay # 1184 01:29:41,145 --> 01:29:43,665 - #A while # - Hey, doc. 1185 01:29:43,736 --> 01:29:45,940 - Who do you got... Sh! - #You'll say you would # 1186 01:29:46,008 --> 01:29:47,863 #You'll give me a smile # 1187 01:29:47,928 --> 01:29:53,395 #Aw, goody-good You'll make my evenin' worthwhile # 1188 01:29:53,465 --> 01:29:58,418 #And before our little rendezvous ends # 1189 01:29:58,488 --> 01:30:02,864 #We won't be just acquainted # 1190 01:30:02,936 --> 01:30:07,825 #We'll be the very very best of friends ## 1191 01:31:08,055 --> 01:31:10,063 Bravo! Bravo! 1192 01:31:11,768 --> 01:31:13,677 Bravo! 1193 01:31:36,216 --> 01:31:40,274 # I think that you and I should get acquainted ## 1194 01:31:42,936 --> 01:31:44,823 I've grown accustomed to this place. 1195 01:31:51,736 --> 01:31:54,256 What! Caesar! 1196 01:31:54,328 --> 01:31:56,532 - Cut. Print. - Magnificent, Pinky. 1197 01:31:56,600 --> 01:32:00,080 - Wonderful, Pinky. - Magnificent. I'll never direct a better actor. 1198 01:32:00,151 --> 01:32:04,112 - And to think they wanted to put that Welshman in the part. 1199 01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:13,072 Well, I was still near water... 1200 01:32:13,143 --> 01:32:16,143 sitting by our beautiful Hollywood pool alone. 1201 01:32:16,215 --> 01:32:18,736 I had done it again, and I had lost Pinky... 1202 01:32:18,807 --> 01:32:22,702 lost him to fame, fortune, his agents, publicity men, secretaries... 1203 01:32:22,776 --> 01:32:24,751 and his adoring fans. 1204 01:32:24,824 --> 01:32:27,606 How about my preview in Westwood last night, huh? 1205 01:32:27,672 --> 01:32:29,908 - What a gas. - Sure was, Pinky. 1206 01:32:29,975 --> 01:32:34,034 All those Pinky Benson fans screaming, yelling, crying... 1207 01:32:34,103 --> 01:32:38,358 Ah-ha. The little people. I love 'em. I love 'em. 1208 01:32:38,424 --> 01:32:40,879 And if the studio tries to cut one minute of that film... 1209 01:32:40,952 --> 01:32:44,018 I'm gonna burn that nuthouse to the ground. 1210 01:32:44,088 --> 01:32:47,470 Five and a half hours is not too long for a Pinky Benson fan. 1211 01:32:47,543 --> 01:32:49,431 Yes, Mr. Benson. 1212 01:32:49,496 --> 01:32:53,205 Now, about the premiere. Everybody on the ball. See? 1213 01:32:54,904 --> 01:32:56,759 Hi, Louisa. 1214 01:32:56,824 --> 01:33:00,020 Hi, Pinky. Going in for a dip? 1215 01:33:00,087 --> 01:33:01,997 No. I'm goin' to Brown Derby. 1216 01:33:02,072 --> 01:33:04,014 I got a business luncheon with these creeps. 1217 01:33:04,088 --> 01:33:06,957 - Ciao, baby. - Ain't you gonna change? 1218 01:33:07,032 --> 01:33:10,447 - What for? - You know you can't get in the Derby without a tie on. 1219 01:33:10,520 --> 01:33:13,203 Geez. 1220 01:33:13,271 --> 01:33:16,588 And Pinky, after lunch you gotta tape a speech to send toJersey City. 1221 01:33:16,663 --> 01:33:19,566 - Yeah, you told me. What's it for? - Pinky Benson Day. 1222 01:33:19,639 --> 01:33:21,549 Big ceremony in your honor. 1223 01:33:21,624 --> 01:33:26,195 Citizens are getting together to paint the front of the house you were born in in pink. 1224 01:33:26,263 --> 01:33:28,435 Yeah? 1225 01:33:28,504 --> 01:33:31,853 Gee. That's kinda sweet. 1226 01:33:31,928 --> 01:33:36,499 - I wonder who thought o' that? - I did. 1227 01:33:36,567 --> 01:33:40,146 Yeah? Well, here's an idea from me. What's the matter with this place? 1228 01:33:40,216 --> 01:33:42,703 The fans in the busses go by here every afternoon. 1229 01:33:42,775 --> 01:33:46,071 Let's let 'em know without a doubt which house is Pinky's house! 1230 01:34:36,664 --> 01:34:39,598 Yes. Yes, it is! Pinky Benson. 1231 01:34:39,671 --> 01:34:42,988 He's arriving in his famous, all-pink Rolls-Royce. 1232 01:34:43,063 --> 01:34:45,267 Oh, I've never seen anything like this. 1233 01:34:45,335 --> 01:34:48,947 I've covered the biggest of all premieres: Ben-Hur, Cleopatra. 1234 01:34:49,015 --> 01:34:52,430 But this, Flaming Lips... this is the biggest of them all. 1235 01:34:52,503 --> 01:34:55,285 All the greats in show business are here tonight... 1236 01:34:55,352 --> 01:34:57,457 the great and the near-great... 1237 01:34:57,528 --> 01:34:59,983 and all the little people... 1238 01:35:00,056 --> 01:35:03,351 Awaiting the premiere of Flaming Lips. 1239 01:35:03,415 --> 01:35:09,132 Mrs. Pinky Benson seems to be wearing a pink... all-pink chinchilla coat. 1240 01:35:09,208 --> 01:35:12,820 Now he's introducing Mrs. Pinky Benson to the crowd. 1241 01:35:12,888 --> 01:35:15,277 Oh, this is fabulous. 1242 01:35:20,472 --> 01:35:24,050 The crowd is roaring so much. I hope you can hear me, ladies and gentlemen. 1243 01:35:24,120 --> 01:35:26,029 I have never seen a premiere like this. 1244 01:35:26,103 --> 01:35:28,492 And now they're going into the theater, as Pinky Benson... 1245 01:35:28,567 --> 01:35:30,869 Tonight, in Flaming Lips, Pinky Benson proved... 1246 01:35:30,936 --> 01:35:34,002 that a comedy can run five and a half hours. 1247 01:35:34,072 --> 01:35:38,163 Earlier today, Pinky told us his next film will run seven and a half hours. 1248 01:35:38,231 --> 01:35:40,435 - Listen to that applause! - Oh, Pinky, baby, you were right. 1249 01:35:40,503 --> 01:35:43,089 - This is a gas! - This is the greatest thing you've ever done. 1250 01:35:43,160 --> 01:35:45,745 I don't ever want to direct another actor for the rest of my life. 1251 01:35:45,815 --> 01:35:49,263 Thank you, pal. Let's get rid of that creep. I'll direct the next one myself. 1252 01:35:49,335 --> 01:35:52,204 This picture is a cinch to do 50 million at the box office. 1253 01:35:52,279 --> 01:35:54,221 - Yeah. Too bad I only get half of that. - Yeah. 1254 01:35:54,295 --> 01:35:57,262 And the studio wants you to co-star with Frank, Marlon and Cary... 1255 01:35:57,335 --> 01:35:59,702 - in a remake of The Four Horsemen. - Well! 1256 01:35:59,767 --> 01:36:03,510 - Why should I carry those deadweights? I'll play all four. - We want Pinky! 1257 01:36:03,576 --> 01:36:06,096 - And he can do it too. - Let's get out of here. The mob is coming. 1258 01:36:06,167 --> 01:36:10,575 - Break it up. Break it up. Everybody outta the way. - We want Pinky! We want Pinky! 1259 01:36:10,648 --> 01:36:13,430 Mr. Benson, you was divine! 1260 01:36:13,495 --> 01:36:18,099 - Just divine! - And now, coming to our cameras, the co-star of Flaming Lips... 1261 01:36:18,168 --> 01:36:21,550 Miss Linda Putty... another Pinky Benson discovery. 1262 01:36:21,623 --> 01:36:25,813 Making new discoveries is the basis of our industry. 1263 01:36:25,879 --> 01:36:27,734 And now, coming to our microphone... 1264 01:36:27,799 --> 01:36:32,687 here she is, Mrs. Pinky Benson. 1265 01:36:32,759 --> 01:36:35,378 My wife has always been my inspiration. 1266 01:36:35,448 --> 01:36:37,357 Pinky, we'll never get out the front way. 1267 01:36:37,432 --> 01:36:40,880 - Why don't you just slip out the side way, darling? - Yes. I guess so. But I... 1268 01:36:40,951 --> 01:36:42,806 I hate to do this to them. 1269 01:36:42,871 --> 01:36:44,977 After all, I'm what they came to see. 1270 01:36:45,048 --> 01:36:48,146 - Yeah. We know. Come on. This way. - Let's go, Pinky. That's all. 1271 01:36:48,215 --> 01:36:51,827 We want Pinky! We want Pinky! 1272 01:36:51,895 --> 01:36:57,612 - The little people. I love 'em. Love 'em. 1273 01:37:02,551 --> 01:37:05,169 Ah, bless 'em. I can't let 'em down. 1274 01:37:05,239 --> 01:37:08,273 After all, I'm the stuff their dreams are made of. 1275 01:37:08,344 --> 01:37:10,929 I belong to them. 1276 01:37:10,999 --> 01:37:13,650 Hey, fellas. Fellas! 1277 01:37:13,719 --> 01:37:18,062 Look who's here. It's me. It's your Pinky! 1278 01:37:19,095 --> 01:37:21,299 Look! It's Pinky! 1279 01:37:21,367 --> 01:37:25,874 Pinky! Pinky! 1280 01:38:11,127 --> 01:38:14,258 Ah, yes, Miss Benson. I know. I know. 1281 01:38:14,327 --> 01:38:17,808 But it's "Willsville Time in Dixie," and we've gotta face the facts... 1282 01:38:17,880 --> 01:38:19,734 deathwise, that is. 1283 01:38:19,800 --> 01:38:23,542 So I'm gonna give it to you short and sweet. You get all the moo. All of it. 1284 01:38:23,607 --> 01:38:25,462 But there's one catch. 1285 01:38:27,287 --> 01:38:31,957 "And so I order to be built the Pinky Benson Memorial Museum, dedicated to my fans... 1286 01:38:32,024 --> 01:38:35,504 "and within it will be preserved all my dancing shoes dipped in bronze... 1287 01:38:35,575 --> 01:38:38,226 "and a giant gold replica of my larynx. 1288 01:38:38,295 --> 01:38:40,946 "A permanent, pink light will burn before my statue... 1289 01:38:41,016 --> 01:38:45,838 "and in the 15,000-seat auditorium, my pictures will run 24 hours a day. 1290 01:38:45,911 --> 01:38:50,254 Everything else I bequeath to my wife, Louisa May Benson." 1291 01:38:51,799 --> 01:38:53,457 Pinky was right. 1292 01:38:53,527 --> 01:38:55,567 He did belong to his fans... 1293 01:38:55,639 --> 01:38:57,778 forever. 1294 01:38:57,847 --> 01:39:00,945 He was such a sweet man when I met him. 1295 01:39:01,015 --> 01:39:04,496 - And then came... - Well, that's all. 1296 01:39:04,567 --> 01:39:07,600 Why? Isn't that enough? 1297 01:39:07,671 --> 01:39:09,711 Oh, I was left with another $30 million... 1298 01:39:09,783 --> 01:39:14,191 and I flew right here to Washington and that brings us up to date. 1299 01:39:14,264 --> 01:39:18,060 And I'm gonna give that money away. The government's not gonna stop me either, and neither are you. 1300 01:39:19,031 --> 01:39:21,551 Please answer my question, Dr. Steffanson. 1301 01:39:21,623 --> 01:39:24,919 Am I a witch, or am I not? 1302 01:39:28,023 --> 01:39:31,667 Well, you haven't said anything for the last two husbands. 1303 01:39:35,671 --> 01:39:39,152 - Well, you're not even listening to me. - Uh, who? Uh, what? 1304 01:39:39,224 --> 01:39:41,460 - Well, you're an analyst! - Huh? 1305 01:39:41,527 --> 01:39:44,080 - Analyze! - Oh, that. Yes. 1306 01:39:44,151 --> 01:39:46,573 Uh, now, let me see. Um, you... you got married... 1307 01:39:46,647 --> 01:39:49,430 to four men for love, mm-hmm? 1308 01:39:49,495 --> 01:39:51,600 All of them were doomed to success and extinction. 1309 01:39:51,671 --> 01:39:54,573 There was Hopper, Flint, Anderson and... and Benson. 1310 01:39:54,647 --> 01:39:58,160 And one man... one man you hated. That was Leonard Crawley. 1311 01:39:58,231 --> 01:40:00,620 Well, that's a very strong emotion, hate. 1312 01:40:00,696 --> 01:40:02,965 Say, you... I think, for... 1313 01:40:03,031 --> 01:40:05,780 Wait a minute. What do you expect of me? Instant analysis? 1314 01:40:05,847 --> 01:40:09,328 Why-Why your case might take 24 hours a day for the next 50 years. 1315 01:40:09,399 --> 01:40:11,854 In other words, Louisa... 1316 01:40:12,887 --> 01:40:15,854 Would you marry me? 1317 01:40:15,927 --> 01:40:19,440 - Dr. Steffanson... - If it's simplicity you want, you should see my apartment. 1318 01:40:19,511 --> 01:40:23,734 I'm a dedicated man of science, and I'm so tired washing out my own socks. 1319 01:40:23,799 --> 01:40:25,654 What do you say, Louisa? 1320 01:40:25,719 --> 01:40:31,436 - Victor, I'm honored that you'd risk your life for me. - Thank you. 1321 01:40:31,511 --> 01:40:34,860 But it isn't fair. I simply don't love you. 1322 01:40:34,935 --> 01:40:36,823 No? 1323 01:40:36,887 --> 01:40:40,629 But would you mail my check in for me anyway? 1324 01:40:40,695 --> 01:40:42,800 Oh, please don't feel so bad. 1325 01:40:42,871 --> 01:40:45,075 Maybe you helped me after all. 1326 01:40:45,143 --> 01:40:48,853 I said "yes" to four men and I said "no" to you. Isn't that progress? 1327 01:40:48,919 --> 01:40:50,774 Of a sorts, I guess. 1328 01:40:50,839 --> 01:40:54,003 You see, after listening to my accumulated life story... 1329 01:40:54,071 --> 01:40:56,722 you naturally assumed that I'd say "yes." 1330 01:40:56,791 --> 01:40:59,376 But you were wrong. 1331 01:40:59,447 --> 01:41:01,357 - Wrong? - Yes. 1332 01:41:01,432 --> 01:41:04,050 I was wrong. 1333 01:41:04,119 --> 01:41:07,948 L... I have the strangest... tingling sensation in my... 1334 01:41:10,135 --> 01:41:12,623 Dr. Stef... Victor, are you all right? 1335 01:41:12,695 --> 01:41:14,703 Wake up, Doctor! Oh, dear. 1336 01:41:14,775 --> 01:41:17,709 How do I get... I've got to... Oh! 1337 01:41:17,783 --> 01:41:20,369 - Oh, please help me. - Oh, excuse me. I, uh... 1338 01:41:20,439 --> 01:41:23,886 Would you please press that button and let this thing down? 1339 01:41:23,959 --> 01:41:26,294 Dr. Steffanson. 1340 01:41:38,007 --> 01:41:41,269 Ma'am, I... What? Louisa? 1341 01:41:42,360 --> 01:41:45,174 - Leonard Crawley! - Mm. 1342 01:41:45,240 --> 01:41:47,574 What happened to the doctor? 1343 01:41:47,639 --> 01:41:50,257 Uh, he fell off. 1344 01:41:50,327 --> 01:41:52,182 Well, he always does. 1345 01:41:52,247 --> 01:41:55,799 Dr. Steffanson. 1346 01:41:58,358 --> 01:42:01,707 Doctor? Doctor. 1347 01:42:02,998 --> 01:42:05,365 - Leonard. - Hmm? 1348 01:42:05,430 --> 01:42:07,285 - You're the custodian here. - What? 1349 01:42:07,350 --> 01:42:10,252 Now, look, Louisa, let's call a spade a spade. 1350 01:42:10,326 --> 01:42:13,360 - I'm the janitor here. - Oh, how awful! 1351 01:42:13,430 --> 01:42:17,587 Oh, no, no, no. I deserved it. You know... "poetic justice" it's called. 1352 01:42:17,654 --> 01:42:21,232 - But in a way, I ruined your life too. - Oh, no. You made it. 1353 01:42:21,302 --> 01:42:25,426 In fact, you know, when I lost everything, I just began to live. 1354 01:42:25,494 --> 01:42:27,698 And... And I'll always be grateful to you... 1355 01:42:27,766 --> 01:42:30,221 and your friend. 1356 01:42:30,294 --> 01:42:33,011 - Thoreau! - Mm-hmm. He said, "Simplify." 1357 01:42:33,078 --> 01:42:35,948 And you can't get much more simpler than bein' a janitor. 1358 01:42:37,494 --> 01:42:39,349 - Leonard. - Mm-hmm? 1359 01:42:39,414 --> 01:42:42,196 You're the only man in the world I ever really hated. 1360 01:42:43,222 --> 01:42:45,589 Hate's a very strong emotion, you know? 1361 01:42:45,654 --> 01:42:49,037 But I think the thing I hated most was that I knew... 1362 01:42:49,110 --> 01:42:51,531 that deep down, under that small-town emperor... 1363 01:42:51,606 --> 01:42:54,541 there was a human being that I wanted to know... 1364 01:42:54,614 --> 01:42:57,003 and you wouldn't let come out. 1365 01:43:19,894 --> 01:43:21,749 Leonard, lunch! 1366 01:43:21,814 --> 01:43:25,109 - Hey, Mom. - All right, honey. Now, you spread these around. 1367 01:43:25,174 --> 01:43:27,563 Jonathan, lunch! 1368 01:43:29,878 --> 01:43:32,726 Hey. Look, Mom. Look what I caught. 1369 01:43:32,790 --> 01:43:35,660 - Sharks! - Well. Wonderful. We'll have these for dinner. 1370 01:43:35,734 --> 01:43:37,589 Now, help your brother. 1371 01:43:37,654 --> 01:43:41,484 Geraldine, lunch, honey! 1372 01:43:42,902 --> 01:43:47,856 - Now, don't you drop this. - What do you think I am, a baby? 1373 01:43:47,926 --> 01:43:52,660 All right. All right. Help is on the way. 1374 01:43:57,590 --> 01:44:00,175 - Here's the chair, Mom. - Okay. 1375 01:44:00,245 --> 01:44:04,752 - All right, children. You can start your milk now. - Aren't we gonna wait for Daddy? 1376 01:44:04,822 --> 01:44:07,855 Nope. Daddy's finishing the plowing he started this morning. 1377 01:44:12,598 --> 01:44:17,137 - And the princess had four beautiful children: 1378 01:44:17,206 --> 01:44:22,923 Leonard and Jonathan and Geraldine and Butch. 1379 01:44:22,998 --> 01:44:26,860 And they all lived happily ever after. 1380 01:44:50,678 --> 01:44:54,572 Louisa! 1381 01:44:54,646 --> 01:44:57,548 It's oil! It's oil! 1382 01:44:57,622 --> 01:45:02,095 Louisa! Look! It's oil. It's oil! Look at it. 1383 01:45:04,022 --> 01:45:07,338 It... can't be happening. It can't be true. 1384 01:45:07,414 --> 01:45:09,552 It can't be happening! 1385 01:45:09,621 --> 01:45:15,218 But it is, Louisa. It's real. 1386 01:45:15,286 --> 01:45:17,969 Hey! Look at this. It's real! It's oil! 1387 01:45:18,038 --> 01:45:19,893 You bet it's real. And it's ours! 1388 01:45:19,958 --> 01:45:22,031 - Yours? - Yes, you idiot! It belongs to us. 1389 01:45:22,101 --> 01:45:24,818 You punched a hole in our pipeline. 1390 01:45:24,886 --> 01:45:27,089 - It's not ours? - No. It's ours! 1391 01:45:33,846 --> 01:45:37,621 My wonderful, wonderful failure.