They bought it.
Incredible! A terrible performance,
and they never doubted it for a second.
How could I be expected
to handle school on a day like this?
This is my ninth sick day. It's tough
coming up with new illnesses.
If I go for ten, I'll have to barf up a lung.
So I'd better make this one count.
The key to faking out the parents
is the clammy hands.
It's a good non-specific symptom.
I'm a big believer in it.

A lot of people will tell you
to go for a phoney fever.
But if you get a nervous mother, you
could wind up in a doctor's office.
You fake a stomach cramp.
When you're bent over wailing,
you lick your palms.
It's childish and stupid,
but then, so is high school.
Life moves pretty fast.
If you don't stop and look around
once in a while, you could miss it.
I do have a test today,
that wasn't bullshit.
It's on European socialism.
What's the point?
I'm not European, so who
gives a crap if they're socialists?
They could be fascist anarchists,
it still wouldn't buy me a car.
I recall CentraIPark in fall
howyou tore your dress
what a mess, I confess ...