1:07:06
"And just now I had an accident.
1:07:09
I nailed the head of my cock to a board
1:07:12
the way I saw in a magazine
the other day.
1:07:15
I got so excited by it
that I had to try it.
1:07:18
While trying to drive the nail in..."
1:07:20
I'm gonna stand up for this.
1:07:22
"While trying to drive the nail
in a little further,
1:07:26
I missed...
1:07:29
and just, I thought,
tapped the tip of my poor cock.
1:07:33
It didn't hurt.
1:07:35
The nail was handling it--
1:07:38
it didn't hurt--
the nail was handling that job.
1:07:41
But, shit,
it started swelling up immediately.
1:07:43
I thought it would never stop
and imagined it bursting.
1:07:48
And seeing that being the end of me
and sex the way I know it.
1:07:53
I pulled the nail out
as quick as I could,
1:07:55
using alcohol swabs
to stop the bleeding.
1:07:58
The penis bleeds an enormous amount.
1:08:01
Just one little pinprick
1:08:03
and it looks like
a murder had taken place.
1:08:06
Imagine what a nail hole was like.
1:08:07
So now there's a big,
black knot on the end of my dick.
1:08:11
All I can do is hope it goes away.
1:08:14
I'm amazingly calm.
1:08:17
I've had accidents before.
1:08:19
And they always
seem to turn out all right.
1:08:24
After extracting the nail,
and stopping the blood,
1:08:28
and putting ice on the throbbing knot,
1:08:30
I tied myself up on my stomach,
1:08:32
wrists attached to my ankles--
1:08:35
don't ask how, it's too complicated--
1:08:38
I got excited and jacked off.
1:08:40
When I looked down, shit,
the whole towel and mattress
1:08:42
were soaked with blood.
1:08:44
I stayed calm, though,
1:08:47
and methodically cleaned everything up
1:08:49
just like Tony Perkins."