:01:24
One hundred girls.
:01:28
And one of them
is my true love.
:01:31
My forever soul mate.
:01:34
The Betty to my Barney.
:01:36
My cosmetic destiny.
:01:39
The problem is...
:01:41
I don't know who she is.
:01:45
I was leaving a highball bash
in the girl's dorm.
:01:55
Can you hit the
basement button, please?
:02:00
My back was to her when
that auspicious blackout hit.
:02:03
I never got a chance
to see her.
:02:10
It must've been the cloak of darkness
concealing my usual romantic block.
:02:15
Because that night I was smart,
I was funny, I was invincible
:02:19
Did you ever notice in the movie "Willy
Wonka & the Chocolate Factory"...
:02:22
that the 0ompa Loompas
never wore hairnets?
:02:25
Do you know what I really hate?
Those stickers they put on apples.
:02:28
By the time you peel it off,
you don't want the apple anymore.
:02:31
I sometimes wish I could
just crawl up with a girl.
:02:34
Just hold each other. Like that picture
of John Lennon and Yoko 0no.
:02:38
That is so sweet.
:02:41
And that's when it happened.
:02:48
Our tongues tangled.
:02:50
And our hands began displaying
their in credible night vision.
:02:57
Her little breasts were
just the right size to fill...