I was a goner.
But better me than her.
What was the worse? Crick was
hopped upon nicotine gum.
A chain-chewer. And he chewed
his gum with his mouth open.
I hated that noise.
It was my kryptonite
What the hell are
you doing here?
- I'm here so save her.
- Save her?
How are you gonna do that?
Crick wasn't wearing a shirt.
His nipples stood out like knobs...
on an old TV.
I don't know what possessed me.
Probably his incessant
nicotine-gum chewing.
But my hands reached out like
they were drawing twin guns.
I grabbed his nipples
and did a double twist.
But, somehow, through his blur
of pain, Crick fought back.
He grabbed my nipples
and twisted.

It was tit for tat.
So we faced each other.
Locked in a nipple combat.
Each trying to endure the
retching pains the longest.
Each of us waiting
for the other to blink.
And... I cracked.
I'll be back for your ass!
And I'll deal with you later!
Here, have some Midol.
It does the trick when my nipples
get sore during my period.
Thanks.
Let me see.
They're all bruised.
They are two black eyes.