Program the shit out of them:
Cocktail parties, hayrides, circle jerks.
Keep them from remembering they
haven't seen the movie they're to review.
What about gifts?
The movie's about a cop
who travels through time, so I did a gun.
-You're giving press members a gun?
-It's not real.
We'll do a really nice bag.
Call the bag man.
Diamond earrings for the ladies,
money clips for the men.
Chocolate truffles, the best perfume.
I don't want this to be awkward for you...
...but I've got some work to do.
-How will you get Eddie and Gwen there?
-Don't worry. I know somebody.
I love you. I'd do anything for you.
You're just asking an awful lot.
A junket with Eddie
isn't high on Gwen's list of priorities.
No lilies. Take them out.
Yes. I understand.
Yes. Excuse me, hold on.
Could you please put that out?
-This is perfect for Gwen.
-I can't accept unsolicited material.
Just warning you it'll be a bit of a fight.
I'll do what I can.
God help us.

Commercial break. When we come back,
you know the scenario.
I've been here before Larry.
When the tape rolls,
look right at that camera.
Talk right to the caller.
-Right down the tube.
-Okay, five seconds.
Let's go to phone calls on Larry King Live.
White Plains, you're on the air
with Gwen Harrison.
Hi, Larry.
Gwen, hi. I used to be a big fan...
...but I'm sorry, I can't get over what
happened with you and Eddie. I'm so sick.
I can't sleep at night. How can you?
Well....
You sleep next to a very handsome
young Spanish gentleman, don't you?
Let's go to our next call.
Rock lsland, Illinois. Hello.
Hi Larry. Gwen, I saw your latest movie.
Thank you.
I couldn't sit through it.
I can't watch you without Eddie, it's not the same.
This has to be hard to hear. Your last
two movies, ones without Eddie...
...crashed and burned at the box office.
They were very big in Europe
and huge in Japan, actually.