Q.
Q. Come on, open up the door, man.
Oh, Q. Man, what you wearing, Q?
-You know, it feels good on my skin.
-You gonna let me in?
-What you want?
-That's for what.
Your mother,
my auntie's been calling me...
...every day early for a week.
She's worried about you.
-You can't call her?
-Been busy.
-You been busy?
-I've been busy.
-Move out--
-Watch the piss.
-What's that?
-You so in a hurry, you ain't looking.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
-See, this is disturbing, Q.
-Kind of a mess, huh?
It's like an outer extension of disease.
Where's your stuff?
Helen, you know, she took some stuff.
Took a TV.
Left me with the dog and a
half-naked picture of herself. Just evil.
-l gave her everything but my soul.
-And l bet they want that too.
-Just greedy.
-Don't give it to them.
All you gotta do is pretend
to give it to them.
Why do l have to pretend?
Why can't l just be me?

Nobody finds pathetic charming.
Was that cheese? Okay, look,
I'm sorry about Helen, okay?
But you got to pull yourself
together, bro.
-l been writing.
-You been writing?
Letters to Helen. A few letters.
How many letters, Q?
-l could not get the right tone.
-No, how many letters?
l just kept obsessing over the way
she left me and what she told me.
Then it came to me, with my
employee-termination research...
...that if Helen was my boss,
then the way she fired me was bad...
...bad in every way. Public humiliation,
conflicting messages, horrific timing.
Oh, yeah, l wrote a letter.
l wrote a letter detailing the disgust
l have at her method and technique.
Her method and her technique
for dumping you?
-Exactly.
-Oh, okay, man. Where is this letter?
-I'm calling your mom.
-Wait.
No, that is a scream for help.
I'm calling your mother.
it started out as a letter,
then it evolved into a manual.