R
Late 2005

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– Directed by David Steiman
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– Language English

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Santa's Slay

Santa's Slay is a 2005 horror/comedy film that stars Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus, which is ironic considering that Goldberg is Jewish. The movie was written and directed by David Steiman, a former assistant to Brett Ratner.

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Santa's Slay

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:00:27

25.000

:00:43

Joy to the world

:00:45

The Lord has come

:00:47

Let Earth receive her King.

:00:58

I'd better get
a Kate Spade bag this year.

:01:00

And none of that shopping-mall,
chain-store shit.

:01:03

Settle for nothing
less than Prada, girls.

:01:05

Gwen! Don't be telling
my kids that.

:01:08

I'm trying to teach them
some values.

:01:11

You're getting Kate Spade.

:01:15

Hey.

:01:18

What does Gwenie want
from big ol' Santa?

:01:21

Just a faithful husband.

:01:24

What's the second thing
she wants?

:01:27

You know what
I'm thinking, angel?

:01:28

- What, darling?
- I was thinking,

:01:30

"Dear God,

:01:33

don't let this bird taste like a shoe
like it did last year.

:01:36

Let it be tender and moist
just for once."

:01:39

Yeah, moist.
That would be nice.

:01:42

It's called "foreplay."

:01:44

I don't wanna screw the bird.
I wanna eat it.

:01:47

I swear to you she dehydrated
this turkey from Thanksgiving.

:01:51

Come here, Scribbles.

:01:52

You try it.

:01:54

Scribbles.

:01:59

One potato.

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