1:10:01
When you got the measles, I thought
I'd never get out of this jam.
1:10:06
- Know what I did?
- What?
1:10:08
I called a few friends
in Chicago and St. Louis.
1:10:12
They sent telegrams to my wife,
signed with my name.
1:10:16
All about this unexpected
business trip. Worked like a charm.
1:10:20
That sounds very intelligent.
1:10:29
If I hadn't had
that stroke of brilliance...
1:10:32
...there could have been serious
results in my home. And business.
1:10:37
- How you gonna show you're grateful?
- What?
1:10:40
You ought to do something for
the injured party, don't you think?
1:10:44
For instance?
1:10:46
You should pop into Cartier's and get
your wife a bauble for her wrist.
1:10:51
- How about some flowers?
- Is that all the grateful you are?
1:10:56
If I gave her jewelry
not on her birthday...
1:10:59
...she'd have 25 private detectives
on me in minutes.
1:11:03
- I'd be ashamed to admit it.
- I'll send her a nice box of roses.
1:11:08
- She'll love that.
- She's not used to expensive gifts.
1:11:12
Anything more than flowers
would upset her.
1:11:15
How about something nice
for your daughter?
1:11:19
- What?
- Inherit her again.
1:11:21
That's out of the question.
1:11:23
- It won't cost until you're dead.
- I'd rather not discuss it.
1:11:27
What's wrong? Everybody loves
their children, even monkeys.
1:11:32
- It's a law of Mother Nature.
- She never dealt with a gigolo.
1:11:37
- And what were you trying to be?
- The difference should be obvious.
1:11:42
- Even to you.
- Would you kindly specify how?
1:11:46
I don't care to debate
the question with you.
1:11:50
Once you get one foot on the ground,
you're quite a jerk.