1:23:00
I'd ask
if there was anything missing, sir?
1:23:03
- What sort of thing?
- Well, for example, a doorknob.
1:23:07
A doorknob! More likely to be a knob
off the television set nowadays.
1:23:11
Well, what would the symptoms be?
1:23:16
All right. I've swallowed a doorknob.
What would my symptoms be?
1:23:20
Well, I should say mild indigestion.
1:23:23
You would, would you?
What are you going to do?
1:23:26
Give me castor oil and hope?
1:23:29
No, sir. Locate the object
and remove it.
1:23:31
I should ruddy well think so.
1:23:33
And how would you locate the object?
1:23:35
I hope the X-ray department
would help, sir.
1:23:38
- We're on a desert island.
- There wouldn't be a doorknob.
1:23:41
Nonsense. I sell doorknobs and I've
saved my samples from the wreck.
1:23:46
Well, where would it be?
1:23:48
Well... in the oesophagus, sir,
or the stomach,
1:23:52
or the duodenum or the jejunum.
1:23:54
- Do you know where the jejunum is?
- Below the stomach, sir.
1:23:58
Is the object a long-distance runner?
1:24:00
- Do you know where the caecum is?
- Yes, sir.
1:24:03
- All right. Show me.
- Yes.
1:24:07
- There.
- It won't bite you, boy.
1:24:09
- Where?
- In there, sir.
1:24:11
All right. I said show me, not tear
it out with your bare hands.
1:24:15
It's by Mcburney's point.
Where's that?
1:24:18
- Mcburney's point, sir?
- Yes. Do you know?
1:24:21
- It's slipped my memory, sir.
- It's no business to.
1:24:24
Supposing I got to a man's appendix
by cutting off his feet
1:24:27
because I'd forgotten where it was.
1:24:30
Mcburney's point, you ignoramus...
Take your coat off. I'll show you.
1:24:34
- Go on, take your coat off!
- Yes, sir.
1:24:41
Great heavens alive, man.
1:24:43
- What on earth is that?
- A waistcoat, sir.
1:24:45
You have the effrontery to face
the examiners like that?!
1:24:49
In all my years,
I've never seen anything like it.
1:24:52
Thank you, sir. I've never seen
anything like it either.