1:00:09
If you could just get a look at
yourselves...
1:00:12
You look like
a bunch of lovesick bull calves.
1:00:19
If you're sweet on them,
why don't you do something about it?
1:00:22
Why don't you go marry them?
1:00:24
Sure, "Go marry them", as easy as that!
1:00:27
They wouldn't marry us
in a thousand years.
1:00:29
Do as the Romans did with the
"Sobbing Women" or "Sabine Women"...
1:00:33
...or whatever they called them.
They were in the same fix you're in.
1:00:37
They was opening up new territory,
and women were scarce, like here.
1:00:41
There were these sobbing women
in town.
1:00:44
So what did the Romans do?
1:00:45
They went down there,
and they carried them off.
1:00:49
If you can't do as good as a bunch of
Romans, you're no brothers of mine.
1:00:53
Course, this being Oregon
and God-fearing territory...
1:00:56
...you'd have to capture a parson.
1:00:59
Romans. They the ones I heard
about settled north of here?
1:01:02
No, this was in olden days.
1:01:04
I read about it in Milly's book.
1:01:06
- A book!
- Why, this is history.
1:01:08
This really happened.
1:01:10
Tell you about them sobbin' women
Who lived in the Roman days
1:01:15
It seems that they all went swimmin'
While their men was off to graze
1:01:19
Well a Roman troop was riding by
And saw them in their "me-oh-mys"
1:01:24
So they took them all
Back home to dry
1:01:26
Least that's what Plutarch says
1:01:29
Them women was
Sobbin', sobbin', sobbin'
1:01:32
Fit to be tied
1:01:34
Every muscle was throbbin', throbbin'
From that riotous ride
1:01:38
Seems they cried and kissed
And kissed and cried
1:01:41
All over that Roman countryside
1:01:43
So don't forget that
1:01:46
When you're taking a bride
1:01:48
Sobbin', fit to be tied
1:01:51
From that riotous ride
1:01:53
- So then what happened?
- Gather round, I'll tell you.
1:01:56
They never did return their plunder
1:01:58
The victor gets all the loot