:14:00
That's fair enough. I disapprove
of many things about him.
:14:05
Chiefly, I disapprove of the fact
that he didn't marry my mother.
:14:10
Perhaps, if I was legitimate...
:14:13
I have sinned, Lord,
but I have several excellent excuses.
:14:19
With all that, Andrei,
you still disapprove?
:14:22
You're not being worthy of yourself.
:14:25
You're not living up to the best things
in yourself. Be somebody!
:14:29
That's where the puzzle begins,
be somebody. Be what? Who am I?
:14:34
Am I the next Count Bezukhov,
lord of vast estates,
:14:38
with a fixed position,
fixed responsibilities?
:14:41
Not quite!
:14:43
My father cannot quite acknowledge
that I am his son.
:14:47
But he cannot quite acknowledge
that I am not his son.
:14:51
That makes everybody uncomfortable,
including myself.
:14:53
- You must aim at something.
- You're right, I agree with you.
:14:59
Each morning I wake up,
I'm disgusted with myself
:15:03
with what I did the night before.
:15:05
I tell myself, "Today, a change."
:15:09
If my headache is bad enough,
I say, "Pierre...
:15:12
"...today you must take steps
to become a saint."
:15:16
I drop into the club
and watch the card-playing,
:15:19
just order a glass of water to prove
how marvellously I resist temptation.
:15:26
Then someone comes along
and says, "Just one vodka, Pierre."
:15:31
Next morning, my headache is worse,
my pockets are emptier.
:15:35
There must be
something you want to do.
:15:38
I want to discover... everything!
:15:42
I want to discover why I know
what's right and still do what's wrong.
:15:47
I want to discover what happiness is,
and what value there is in suffering.
:15:52
I want to discover why men go to war,
:15:55
and what they really say
deep in their hearts when they pray.