:20:02
- Yet you do not want to die.
- Yes, l do.
:20:06
What are you waiting for?
:20:09
Knowledge.
:20:11
You want an guarantee.
:20:13
Call it what you will.
:20:21
ls it so hard to conceive God
with one's senses?
:20:26
Why must He hide in a midst
of vague promises...
:20:29
and invisible miracles?
:20:33
How are we to believe the believers
when we don't believe ourselves?
:20:37
What will become of us
who want to believe, but cannot?
:20:41
And what of those
who neither will nor can believe?
:20:45
Why can l not kill God within me?
:20:48
Why does He go on living
in a painful, humiliating way?
:20:51
l want to tear Him out of my heart...
:20:55
but He remains a mocking reality...
:20:59
which l cannot get rid of.
:21:01
- Do you hear me?
- l hear you.
:21:06
l want knowledge. Not belief.
Not surmise. But knowledge.
:21:12
l want God to put out His hand...
:21:15
show His face, speak to me.
:21:18
But He is silent.
:21:21
l cry to Him in the dark,
but there seems to be no one there.
:21:26
Perhaps there is no one there.
:21:28
Then life is a senseless terror.
:21:31
No man can live with Death
and know that everything is nothing.
:21:37
Most people think neither
of Death nor nothingness.
:21:40
Until they stand on the edge of life
and see the Darkness.
:21:44
Ah, that day.
:21:47
l see.
:21:50
We must make an idol of our fear...
:21:54
and call it God.
:21:58
You are uneasy.