It Happened to Jane

Maybe I do, at that.
Okay, sweetheart, don't be late. Bye.
Let's have a dry run, Uncle Otis.
- Are you coming?
- Yeah.

Jane Osgood, you should have given me
this story last night.

It's true, huh? It must be.
Here's 97 and you in it.

We'll give a party, a masquerade
and I'll come as a conductor.

Listen, I want the facts.
From the beginning. Shoot.

We don't want any publicity.
We just want to get this thing settled.

Why don't you run back
behind the switchboard?

Because I'm a newspaperman first,
that's why...

and Clarence is very efficient.
One more scoop like that two-headed calf
over in High River...

and I know the Mirror will put me on steady.
Look, Matilda. It's really very simple.
We sued the E&P, we won...

and they wouldn't pay.
Yeah, and they're appealing,
which is their right.

- So I took their train.
- You levied execution.

- That's what I did.
- The bums, serves them right.

- Go on, Janey.
- That's the whole story.

- What will you do with old 97?
- Good question.

I'm gonna make them pay, Matilda.
Good girl. Give it to them.
Boy, this ought to put me on straight salary.

Get out of my chair.
And stop drinking my beer.
There's no community property
in this state, you know.

Clara. Give me a trunk to New York.
No, I'd better hold.

Hit me. Eight?
You've got to have that cat spayed.
They're gonna eat you
out of house and home.

New York? Bangor, this is my trunk.
Hello, New York. This is Cape Anne, Maine...
calling the New York Daily Mirror collect.
Murray Hill 2-1000 will speak to anyone
on the city desk.

Matilda Runyon, correspondent.
After this, buy your own.
Are you telling me
she's got one of Harry Malone's trains?

Now, listen, Mr. Russell,
I can dictate this story to you right now.

I'll hire the photographer for the pictures.
You just give me rewrite.

Hold on to your hat.
What's the nearest airport?