Elmer Gantry

Wake up! Wake up, Miss Katie Jones!
You see before you the captain of the
SS HaPPiness, fishing boat extraordinary.

All aboard for a glorious,
carefree, happy cruise.

Fun, fish, frolic... and romance.
Bill! Not one word, not one, about legal
documents, tents, moneys or lost souls.

We're going on a picnic, see,
and if you squeal, we'll rub you out.

Do you think I'd rat on a couple of pals?
It will be all right, won't it, for one day?
In that outfit, the fish'll jump
into the boat to look at you.

We're going! We're going on a picnic!
I've been promising
to take her on a picnic.

You got that look, Bill. What's the matter?
Elmer the Great. Elmer the Grifter.
The con man conned with
the oldest badger game in the worid.

- I don't want Shara to see these.
- She'll have to.

Bill, I'll do anything you say.
I'll... I'll quit. I...

- Don't let Shara see these.
- She's got to see them.

Darling, don't you think we ought
to take Bill on the picnic with us?