Paris - When It Sizzles

An indication to the audience
of the tremulous beginnings of love.

And then, conflict!
We can tell by the music
how deeply fraught with danger

the whole situation is.
And now... our first switch.
The audience gasps when they realise
they've been fooled.

Things are not what they seem.
Not at all.

In fact, the whole situation
is completely reversed,

the magnificently ingenious

switch... on the switch.
Amazed by the sudden turn of events,
the boy and girl realise how gravely
they've misjudged each other.

At that moment,
the music turns ominous once more.
They become aware of the danger
that they're in and the chase is on!

Screaming tyres, rooftops,
long shots of tiny figures racing
through the fear-gripped city.

When suddenly in a deserted alley
we see, seated on a garbage can,

licking its wet rain-bedraggled fur,
close shot, the cat!
Now, as we build
step by step to the climax,

the music soars.
And there, totally oblivious
of the torrential rain
pouring down upon them,

the two fall happily and tenderly
into each other's arms.

And as the audience drools
with sublimated sexual pleasure,

the two enormous and highly paid
heads come together

for that ultimate
and inevitable moment.

The final, earth-moving,
studio-rent-paying, theatre-filling,
Fade out. The end.
That's it. 138 pages. Why make it
longer? We'd only have to cut later.