:11:02
Never a second thought to maybe
she'll find out and cry and everything.
:11:05
- But, Ed, you do it all the time.
- So?
:11:07
So, aren't you afraid
you'll make Harriet cry and everything?
:11:10
No. Because I had enough
sense of decency.
:11:13
I loved Harriet enough to wait
until I learned how to do it well.
:11:17
Oh.
:11:19
That's why I want you
to promise me something-
:11:20
that you'll hold off
until I can give you a few pointers...
:11:23
before getting
into the old ball game.
:11:26
Okay, Ed. You're the coach.
:11:28
Will you look at that?
:11:31
The poor kid.
Baby, your eyes must be killing you.
:11:34
- Here. Here, let me do that.
- Thank you, darling.
:11:38
What a mess. Women shouldn't
be allowed near these things.
:11:44
There's so much to know.
So much to know.
:11:47
Where to take her, how to choose her,
what to do if a man answers.
:11:50
- Hang up?
- Wrong.
:11:52
Ask to speak to Jack
and then say you got a wrong number?
:11:54
- What if his name happens to be Jack?
- Oh.
:11:56
See? Already you're in trouble.
:11:59
What do you do if a man answers?
:12:02
You put your hand over the mouthpiece
so he doesn't hear you breathing.
:12:06
Then he'll think there's something wrong
with the connection...
:12:08
- and hang up.
- Yeah.
:12:10
Then, of course, you've got to get out
of the house at night...
:12:13
- without arousing suspicion.
- You do, don't you?
:12:17
Unless you're unemployed
and have your afternoons free.
:12:19
Oh. Well, I could say
that I was at the office working late.
:12:24
And what happens
if Ruth should phone you there...
:12:25
and find you're not there working late?
:12:28
- Oh.
- Which brings us to basic principle number one.
:12:32
Never, never say you'll be...
:12:34
where you can be found not to be.
:12:39
Yes. I can see that.
:12:41
Boy, oh, boy. It gets
pretty complicated, doesn't it?
:12:43
Protecting your loved ones
is never easy, kid.
:12:46
Yes. Then how do you get out of the house
at night without arousing suspicion?
:12:51
Well, it depends upon
the kind of wife you've got.
:12:55
This guy I knew,
he invented a brilliant gambit.
:12:58
He used what he called
the "bust-up scene. "