Follow That Camel

I think there is someone knocking at the gate.

The nerve of the dogs!
Do they expect me to let them in?

Ah, perhaps that would be the wisest move.
- Never! Over your dead body!
- Ooh!

I've got something in store for them
they didn't bargain for.

Move out the cannon and load with grape!
And if you haven't got any grape,
load with some other fruit.

Come on, you men! Move out the cannons!
Get out your grapes!

- Perhaps they don't want our services, sir.
- Nonsense! They're always looking for recruits.

They'll welcome us with open arms.
Get out your grapes!
There, what did I tell you?
So, you came to join the Foreign Legion?
Yes, we keep telling you that.
Are you aware this place
has just been under heavy attack?

How do I know you are not one of them?
Oh, no, sir!
Spies! Sent in here to learn our secrets.
Spies? How dare you, sir!
We are English gentlemen!
Don't talk to me about your English gentlemen's!
I have seen what you scribble on the walls
of your English gentlemen's!

Mr West has never so much as
raised a finger to a wall! He's a man of honour!

If he is a man of so much honour,
why does he need to join the Foreign Legion?

I... I can't tell you that.
Ah, so! Perhaps you lost your honour
on the playing fields of Eton.

That was not Mr Wess fault.
- There was a gardener's daughter...
- Simpson!

So, good! You can enlist.
But be careful, you will be watched.
At the first sign of any treachery,
the firing squad!

The firing squad? Oh, we'll enjoy that, sir!
- Mr West is an excellent shot.
- Le Pice! Take them away!

Oui, Kommandant Burger!
Recruits! Attention!
Right turn!
Quick march!
- After you, sir.
- No, thas all right.

- Oh, I insist.
- No, Simpson.

Get out!
(La Pice clears throat)