1:05:02
My God.
1:05:05
I knew something was missing.
1:05:08
Good evening.
I'm Roger Grimsby with the news at six.
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Top stories - the government
brings charges against Fielding Mellish
1:05:15
as a subversive imposter.
1:05:17
New York garbage men are striking
for a better class of garbage.
1:05:20
The National Rifle Association
declares death a good thing.
1:05:23
Details on these
and other stories in a moment.
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Fielding Mellish, the President of
San Marcos, goes on trial for fraud,
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inciting to riot, conspiracy
to overthrow the government
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and using the word "thighs"
in mixed company.
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Please rise. Court is now in session.
Judge Seymour Watson presiding.
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The People versus Fielding Mellish.
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I object, Your Honour.
This trial is a travesty.
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It's a travesty of a mockery
of a sham of a mockery
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of two mockeries of a sham.
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I move for a mistrial. There's not
a single homosexual on that jury.
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- Yes, there is.
- Really? Which one?
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Is it the big guy at the end?
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Call the first witness.
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- And you remember Fielding Mellish?
- He's got a record.
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He was always being picked up
at one demonstration or another.
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He's a bad apple, a commie.
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A New York Jewish intellectual
communist crackpot.
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I mean, I don't wanna cast no aspersions.
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Your witness.
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Officer Dowd, have you ever had
sexual relations with a girl
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with really big breasts?
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Yes, sir. I did.
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- And how did you find it?
- Very erotic.
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I was... I was just checking.
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Swear to tell the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth?
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I do.
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- Name?
- J Edgar Hoover.
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- Occupation?
- Head of the FBl.
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Tell the court
why you're dressed like this.