King Lear

I'll teach thee
a speech.

This is nothing, fool.
Can you make no use
of nothing, nuncle?

Why, no, boy;
Nothing can be

made out of nothing.
Give me an egg,
and I'll give thee
two crowns.

What two crowns
shall they be?

Why, after I've cut
the egg in the middle

and eat up
the meat,

the two crowns
of the egg.

Thou hadst little wit
in thy bald crown when thou
gav'st thy golden one away.

I prithee, nuncle, keep
a schoolmaster that
can teach thy fool to lie.

I would fain
learn to lie.

And you lie, sirrah,
we'll have you whipp'd.

I marvel what kin
thou and thy
daughters are.

They'll have me whipped
for speaking true, for lying,

and sometimes
for holding my peace.

I'd rather be any kind
of a thing than a fool;

yet I would not
be thee, nuncle;

for thou hast pared
thy wits o' both sides
and left nothing in the middle.

# Mum, mum!
He that keeps nor crust nor crumb #

# Weary of all shall want some ##
When were you wont
to be so full of songs, sirrah?

Ever since thou mad'st
thy daughters thy mothers;

for when thou gav'st them
the rod, and pulled
down thine own breeches.

# Then they for sudden joy did weep #
# And I for sorrow sung #
# That such a king
Should play bo-peep #

# And go the fools among ##
and thou canst not smile
as the wind sits.