Last House on the Left

Looks like Mari's getting cards
from half the civilized world.

''Mari Collingwood.''
You'd think she's the only kid
to reach the age of 17.

Of course, she is
about the prettiest piece l've ever seen.

-Mari Collingwood, you hurry up!

Drill sergeant.
Did you call the repair service?
Did you tell them l was a physician
and had to have a phone?

No, actually, l told them
you were an international bookie...

...and l was 10 months pregnant
with quintuplets.

What's new in the outside world?
Same old stuff, murder and mayhem.
-What's for dinner?
-Freezer's full, take your choice.

What's that supposed to mean?
Mari, you be careful tonight.

Your mother tells me the place
you're going is in a bad neighborhood.

l will, Daddy.
No bra?
Of course not!
Nobody wears those anymore.

Nobody except us drill sergeants.
But look, Estelle.
You can see her nipples as plain as day.

Daddy, don't be so clinical.
-But it's immodest.
-l'll get some sandpaper!

Young lady, when l was your age--