1:08:01
It's true.
1:08:03
Even a schlep like me
gets a little action once in a while.
1:08:05
Most of it is tired quail
that fly south the next day.
1:08:08
But once, and only once,
did I hook into the real thing.
1:08:12
Happened in Malibu.
Oh, boy, was she something.
1:08:17
We had a great setup.
A shack on the beach. She cooked, I ate.
1:08:20
- What the hell, we dug each other.
- Do you know what a thrill this is?
1:08:24
To waste my last hours here
listening to the plot of your next dirty film?
1:08:27
This was for real, Steve.
And it was fantastic.
1:08:32
But then the guilt started tearing me apart.
1:08:34
- La cuenta.
- Wait a minute.
1:08:37
I went to a shrink five times a week
to hear the same questions.
1:08:40
"Do you love the girl? Sure, I do.
1:08:42
"Do you love your wife and kids?
Of course I love them.
1:08:45
"Would you give them up for the girl?
Hell, no.
1:08:48
"Would you give the girl up for them?
I can't. I love her."
1:08:51
$18,000 later, he came to the key question.
1:08:55
"Do you love her enough to give her up?"
1:08:58
That's the one that pinned me to the rack.
1:09:00
One cockamamie question
cost me $18,000.
1:09:04
And that doesn't include the Kleenex
I used up crying.
1:09:07
I didn't go back to the coast for five years.
By that time, she'd had twin boys...
1:09:12
...and a kidney-shaped pool, went
to Weight Watchers every Thursday night.
1:09:17
I've got to meet Patty and the boys.
We're going on some fakakta picnic.
1:09:21
That's all I need now, Spanish ants.
1:09:25
You two may be two ships that passed
in the night and scraped hulls for a week.
1:09:29
In which case, relax and enjoy.
1:09:34
I see.
1:09:35
Lots of luck, boy-chick.
1:09:45
He was right, your fat friend.
1:09:48
He was right.
1:09:51
He loved a girl enough to give her up.
But, my God, $18,000?
1:09:54
I could have told him for a lot less.
1:09:57
I'm not giving you up.
1:09:59
- What?
- I'm not giving you up. Look.