1:05:12
You're so beautiful and so good.
Did you know that?
1:05:19
Hey, I mean that.
1:05:21
Oh, I didn't always look like this.
1:05:24
- No?
- Uh-uh.
1:05:26
I used to weigh 180 pounds...
1:05:28
and my mother used to tell me
I looked like the Lone Ranger's horse.
1:05:31
- Oh, that's nice of her.
- She was right.
1:05:35
You should've seen me when I first went
to business school in Atlanta.
1:05:38
Oh, you went to Atlanta?
What's that like?
1:05:40
Um, big.
1:05:45
I remember one time...
1:05:47
me and my friend Ruby
1:05:50
We were about 16, I guess, and
we were invited to this fraternity party.
1:05:55
Now, nobody on the face
of God's green earth...
1:05:58
thinks he's smarter than
those fraternity boys, right?
1:06:02
Mine was kinda neat, though.
1:06:04
I mean, he was tall,
and he had black hair.
1:06:08
I couldn't believe him invitin' me.
1:06:11
Ruby and I got so drunk waitin' for those
two turkeys to drop the bullshit...
1:06:15
and start, you know, smoochin'.
1:06:18
- You thought about that?
- Oh, yeah.
1:06:21
- I thought only guys thought about that.
- Uh-uh.
1:06:24
- So go ahead.
- Um
1:06:26
So, we're at the party, and, um,
Ruby asked me if I see anything funny.
1:06:30
Oh, I take a look around,
and I see somethin' funny, all right.
1:06:35
Homeliest bunch of giris
I have ever seen assembled in one place.
1:06:39
- It was a pig party!
- What's that?
1:06:42
A P-l-G pig party?
1:06:45
You know, fraternity boys invite
the ugliest giris they can...
1:06:48
and then they just give out prizes.
1:06:52
My date got second prize.
1:06:54
Oh, I cried for a couple weeks...
1:06:57
and I used to get comical calls
in the middle of the night.