1:14:01
was Kay, my girl, you know?
1:14:05
[Chuckles]
It's gonna sound stupid,
1:14:07
but I'm--but my thought was
''She'll kill me.''
1:14:10
You know, here I was dying and I was
worried that she was gonna kill me.
1:14:14
But then I realized that I didn't
have to worry because I was dying.
1:14:19
It's all over.
And for what,you know?
1:14:22
My last--
My last conscious thought...
1:14:25
was ''I can't believe it.
I'm dying.
1:14:29
On this shitty piece of ground,
I'm dying...
1:14:32
and I can't fuckin' believe it.''
1:14:34
Bobby was a surfer,
he was a wrestler,
1:14:37
he was a long-distance runner.
1:14:39
We danced. He was active.
Active, active.
1:14:41
Our whole life was active.
1:14:44
And now they're telling me
that he's paralyzed.
1:14:46
He couldn't believe it
and I couldn't believe it. Right now...
1:14:49
Bobby's not a boyfriend.
He's not a husband. He's not a brother.
1:14:53
It-It's very--
1:14:56
[Sighs]
1:14:58
It's very hard.
1:15:00
[Muller]
What hurts the most--
1:15:03
and this is a purely personal thing,
you know?
1:15:05
Right, wrong or indifferent,
that's how I feel.
1:15:09
When I was in the Marine Corps,
1:15:11
I remember I was in the Marine Corps
barracks in Washington--
1:15:14
They call it
''A,'' ''F,'' and ''I.''
1:15:16
And they had
the Marine Corps drill team there.
1:15:19
And I was standing at attention
in my uniform...
1:15:23
and they were playing
the ''Marine Corps Hymn''.
1:15:25
And then they played
the ''Star-Spangled Banner.''
1:15:28
And I actually started to cry.
1:15:32
I cried because I was so proud
to be an American, you know?
1:15:37
And I was so proud
to be a marine...
1:15:40
and in uniform,
standing there at attention.
1:15:45
That-That represented
so much to me...
1:15:48
in the way of life and--
1:15:52
That's gone, you know?
1:15:55
And that hurt.
That hurts.
1:15:58
That's what I'm bitter about.