:21:01
- Um...
- You're on your own.
:21:04
Mema... l'm on, OK?
:21:07
So, l'm sitting in the bar.
And in walks Lenny.
:21:10
You should have seen me. l had on
brown suede shoes, and the shirt...
:21:14
So, l says ''Lenny,
the MC didn't show tonight.''
:21:17
''Now, how's about if l introduce you,
and you introduce the acts?''
:21:21
And he says ''Oh, no.
Are you kidding with that?''
:21:23
And l says ''There's nothing to it.'
:21:25
''You don't have to be funny.
lt's intros, like 'Here's Slip and Slap'.''
:21:30
'''How about a hand
for Schmutz and Dreck?'''
:21:32
Dreck is Yiddish for ''shit''.
:21:35
- Ouch!
- So he says ''OK, why not?''
:21:37
Three seconds later,
l'm in the toilet... bleurgh!
:21:40
- All over the suede shoes.
- Leonard!
:21:42
- Bleurgh!
- Feh!
:21:43
- Bleurgh!
- Feh!
:21:44
- ''Feh''. There it is.
- Hold it! Hold it, the star is on!
:21:47
Now, listen, l'm up there, see,
and l got the microphone.
:21:52
l'm saying ''Folks, the MC couldn't
make it tonight, blah, blah, blah.''
:21:55
''But luckily a good friend of mine,
and a funny, funny guy...''
:22:00
Bullshit. You said ''the funniest guy in...''
Ouch. ''The funniest guy in the world.''
:22:04
You're right! Right!
''Leonard Alfred Schneider,
:22:07
who just flew in from the coast
for the Sullivan Show,
:22:11
happens to be in the club.''
:22:12
You dig what she did to me?
My own mother.
:22:16
l'd never been on the stage in my life,
and now l gotta go and try to be funny.
:22:21
You were so nervous
that you came rushing out,
:22:24
and he tripped over the mic cord,
:22:26
and he knocked us both flat on our asses.
:22:29
(Lenny) lt's true.
:22:32
lt's true. You never heard
such a laugh - mainly her!
:22:36
So, how long did you two know
each other before you got married?
:22:40
Yes, we must know the answer!
:22:42
How long had we known each other
before we got married?
:22:46
Half an hour. l picked him up on the
D train after he exposed his putz to me.
:22:50
- Terrific!
- ''Putz''?
:22:53
l love the ''putz''! lt's terrific.
lt's true. Mema, it's true.
:22:57
l met her on the D train,
and l gave her one of these.