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'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother
Maynard carries. Brother Maynard.
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Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade.
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- How does it-- How does it work?
- I don't know, my Liege.
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Consult the "Book of Armaments."
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Armaments, chapter two,
verses 9 to 21.
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"And St. Attila raised
the hand grenade up on high saying...
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'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade...
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that with it thou mayest blow
thine enemies to tiny bits...
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in Thy mercy.'
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And the Lord did grin...
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and the peopIe did feast upon
the lambs and sloths and carp...
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and anchovies and orangutans
and breakfast cereals and fruit bats--"
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Skip a bit, Brother.
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"And the Lord spake saying...
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'First shaIt thou take out
the holy pin...
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then shalt thou count to three...
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no more, no less.
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Three shall be the number
thou shalt count...
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and the number of the counting
shall be three.
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four shalt thou not count,
neither count thou two...
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excepting that thou
then proceed to three.
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Five is right out.
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Once the number three,
being the third number, be reached...
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then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch...
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towards thy foe...
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who, being naughty in My sight,
shall snuff it."'