:55:01
They'd mumble to each other.
:55:04
I wonder if they heard
what they said.
:55:07
Or else Uncle Harry would be
there and they'd play chess,
:55:12
and then it'd be extra quiet.
:55:17
I could hear three
different clocks ticking.
:55:24
A few days before
you were due home
:55:27
I'd get a temperature
from the excitement.
:55:30
I'd worry I might
really get sick,
:55:33
because you were
afraid of sick people.
:55:37
When you did come,
I was so happy
:55:41
I couldn't say anything.
You'd get impatient and say,
:55:46
"Eva doesn't seem very pleased
to have her mother home again. "
:55:51
I'd blush red as a beet
and break out in a sweat.
:55:57
I couldn't say anything,
I had no words.
:56:02
You had taken charge
of all the words in our home.
:56:06
-You're exaggerating.
-I must finish speaking.
:56:10
I know I'm tipsy but otherwise
I wouldn't have said what I have.
:56:15
When I don't dare say any more
because I'm ashamed
:56:19
you can explain and
I'll listen and understand
:56:25
just as I've always done.
:56:31
I loved you, Mama, it was
a matter of life and death.
:56:35
But I distrusted your words.
:56:38
They didn't match
the expression in your eyes.
:56:42
You have a beautiful voice.
When I was little,
:56:44
I could feel it all over my body.
:56:48
But I knew instinctively
you didn't mean what you said.
:56:54
I couldn't understand your words.
:56:59
The most horrible thing was,
you'd smile when you were mad.