:53:01
I used to pray that something
would stop you from going,
:53:06
butyou always went.
:53:09
You'd putyour arms
around me and kiss me
:53:13
and look at me and smile.
:53:18
You smelled
nice but strange.
:53:22
You yourself were a stranger, already
on your way. You didn't see me.
:53:28
Then you'd be gone.
I used to think, "Now I'll die,
:53:34
"it hurts so much.
I'll never be happy again.
:53:39
"How can I bear such
pain for two months?"
:53:54
And I'd cry In Papa's lap.
He'd sit quite still
:53:58
with his soft hand on my head.
:54:02
He'd go on and on sitting
there smoking his old pipe.
:54:08
Sometimes he'd say, "Let's go
to a movie this evening, "or
:54:13
"What about ice cream
for dinner today? "
:54:17
But all I wanted was to die.
:54:25
So the days and weeks passed.
:54:29
We shared the
loneliness quite well.
:54:32
We didn't have much to say
:54:35
but I never disturbed him.
:54:39
Sometimes he'd look worried.
I didn't know then
:54:41
that he was always short of money.
But whenever I'd come
:54:46
clumping along, his
face would brighten,
:54:50
and he'd pat me
with his pale little hand.
:54:55
Or else Uncle Otto would be sitting
on the sofa, drinking brandy.