You jerk.
So we need a distance man.
- Any ideas?
- You, buddy.

Don't look at me.
I'd be pukin' after the first mile.

- Somebody's gotta do it.
- Finkelstein's your man, sir.

Larry Finkelstein.
- Here's your man.
- No, Tripper.

Right here. Rudy Gerner.
- Please don't.
- He's the best we got.

Get serious.
No offense, but that kid
can't even catch a football.

For your information, Phillip...
Rudy is a three-time Junior State
long distance medal award winner.

- Bullshit.
- And...

he won a presidential citation
from his Committee on Physical Fitness.

He's lyin' to me.
I can't do it, Tripper.
You can. Believe me.
Morty, give him a chance.
No one else wants to.

Come on, Morty!
Make up your mind.

Come on, Morty.
For once make a decision.

All right.
Gerner runs the marathon.

What do you think
our chances are?

I hope I don't
let you down, Tripper.

You won't.
Let's go get laid
before the race, huh?

- How's the leg?
- It's okay.

For now. But if you don't win,
we cut it off. Okay, here's the thing.

On open ground this guy could take you,
but you're runnin' through the woods.

You got a chance. You're smaller
and you can run through bushes faster.

You're like a little rabbit.
You're Rudy the Wabbit, okay?

When you're running, think,
"I'm Rudy the Wabbit."

Stay right behind him
until you get to the woods.

When you get to the woods, pass him.
Don't even look in the rearview mirror.

Be ahead of him when you get to the edge
of the woods, 'cause when you get out...

there's open ground,
and that's where you'll have trouble.

You gotta have a hell of a lead
when you get outta the woods.

- All right, what's your name?
- Rudy Gerner.

No. It's Rudy the Wabbit.
What's your name?

- Rudy the Rabbit.
- You're the winner.