:49:04
You turn into this.
-l don't understand.
:49:08
You just turn into this.
:49:21
That whole business
about intimacy is just a dream.
:49:32
Brutality and obscenity.
:49:36
Sometimes l go to certain places
to pick up these awful men.
:49:41
You wouldn't believe your eyes.
:49:44
Pleasure and sexuality
and horror and obscenity.
:49:48
All rolled into one. That's the
kind of sex life your old fogey has.
:49:53
You can't exactly
call that tender intimacy.
:49:57
One day someone will kill me. But
that too is a titillating thought.
:50:03
Certain powers drive me
that l can't control.
:50:08
Doctors, lovers...
:50:12
pills, drugs...
:50:17
alcohol, work.
:50:22
Nothing helps.
:50:26
They're secret powers.
Do they have a name? l don't know.
:50:35
Maybe it's the aging process itself.
The putrefaction.
:50:40
l don't know.
:50:42
l have no control over those powers.
:50:48
l get closer to the mirror
and look into my face...
:50:52
that has become so familiar.
:50:55
And l come to the conclusion
that this blend of flesh and blood...