:50:03
Certain powers drive me
that l can't control.
:50:08
Doctors, lovers...
:50:12
pills, drugs...
:50:17
alcohol, work.
:50:22
Nothing helps.
:50:26
They're secret powers.
Do they have a name? l don't know.
:50:35
Maybe it's the aging process itself.
The putrefaction.
:50:40
l don't know.
:50:42
l have no control over those powers.
:50:48
l get closer to the mirror
and look into my face...
:50:52
that has become so familiar.
:50:55
And l come to the conclusion
that this blend of flesh and blood...
:51:00
and nerves and pieces of bone
contains two totally incompatible...
:51:07
l don't know what to call it.
:51:11
Two incompatible people.
:51:16
The dream of intimacy,
of tenderness, common interests...
:51:21
of the ability to forget yourself
and of all that is alive.
:51:26
And on the other hand, the violence,
the obscenity, the horror and death.
:51:34
Sometimes l think they all stem
from one and the same origin.
:51:42
l don't know.
:51:46
And how could l know anyway?
:51:52
Perhaps my dreams were
just a bit too beautiful.
:51:56
And as a punishment...
:51:59
Life punishes you
when you least expect it.