...I can say, "Yeah, I eat his food."
You rewrote the necktie scene? Good.
-Without the necktie?
-With the necktie.

-With the necktie?
-Yeah, with the necktie.

The necktie's wrong. You take the
necktie out, you got something.

-What's wrong with you?
-What's wrong with me?

What's wrong is it's depressing
to be disagreed with.

It's depression.
Today's your birthday,
and you haven't mentioned it.

Don't start. I'm a character actor.
Age has no effect on me.

-That's very good.
-How does one not be depressed?

Instead of trying to be Michael Dorsey,
the great actor or the great waiter...

...why not just try to be
Michael Dorsey?

I am Michael Dorsey.
What's the payoff?

-Say it like you mean it.
-I am Michael Dorsey. Fine. Okay?

Speech! Speech! Speech!
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait a minute.
First a toast.
To Michael Dorsey, who makes you
remember what acting's all about!

Being unemployed!
To Michael...
...who's been my friend for six years.
Was it that long?
And who is my coach.
And he's just great.

He's a great coach, a great actor.
He's a great guy and--

This is a really dumb speech.
Let's get drunk.

Happy birthday!
-How you doing? Michael.

You an actress? Terrific face.
Nice blouse. Who'd you come with?

I don't want a full house
at the Winter Garden Theatre.

I want 90 people who just came out
of the worst rainstorm in history.