:50:01
So l'm not gonna go today,
l'm not gonna go tomorrow,
:50:05
but eventually
l'm gonna be in that position.
:50:08
- You're just realising this now?
- No, l've known it all the time.
:50:12
But l stuck it in the back of my mind
:50:15
because it's a very
horrible thing to think about.
:50:18
- Can l tell you something? A secret?
- Yeah, sure.
:50:21
A week ago, l bought a rifle.
l went into a store and bought one.
:50:25
lf l had a tumour, l was gonna kill myself.
:50:27
The only thing that might've stopped me
is my parents would be devastated.
:50:31
l would have had to shoot them first.
:50:33
And then my aunt and uncle.
lt would have been a bloodbath.
:50:36
Well, you know, eventually
it is going to happen to all of us.
:50:41
But doesn't that ruin everything for you?
lt takes the pleasure out of everything.
:50:46
You're gonna die, l'm gonna die, the
audience, the network, the sponsor...
:50:50
- l know, and your hamster.
- Yes!
:50:53
Listen, kid. l think you snapped your cap.
:50:56
Maybe you need a few weeks in Bermuda
or something, or go to a whorehouse.
:51:01
l can't stay on this show. l need answers.
:51:03
Otherwise, l'm telling you,
l'm gonna do something drastic.
:51:26
- l thought you weren't coming.
- l almost didn't.
:51:30
- l didn't sleep all night.
- No, l'm sure.
:51:35
What are we doing, meeting
in a hotel room? lt's terrible.
:51:38
l couldn't think where to invite you
without taking risks.
:51:41
l promised myself l wouldn't let this
happen till you were living alone.
:51:45
l was so torn when you called.
:51:47
l've wanted to call you every day
since l first told you how l felt.
:51:52
l resisted so many times.
:51:57
Don't think badly of me.