:43:00
Why do Jewish divorces cost
so much? They're worth it.
:43:07
Why do Jewish guys die before
their wives? They want to.
:43:11
[Laughter,
Scattered Applause]
:43:15
And that's what
I think of you, Harvey.
:43:17
[Laughter, Applause]
¤ [Jazzy Fanfare]
:43:24
Thank you, Henny Youngman, for that trip
down memory lane. And now... [Laughing]
:43:28
¤ [Rim Shot]
[Laughing]
:43:31
But seriously. Henny, you were
never funnier... and it's a shame.
:43:35
¤ [Jazzy Fanfare] [White] But I was asked
to say a couple of words about Harvey.
:43:40
How about "ugly" and "cheap"?
:43:43
Harvey wrote his will
on his cock,
:43:46
and his lawyer said it would
not stand up in court.
:43:49
[Laughter, Pounding On
Table] [No Audible Dialogue]
:43:55
Okay, Mrs. Pitnik. You're on. What?
:43:58
You're on. Oh, no. Oh,
no. I really can't...
:44:00
You're the widow. You've got to give Harvey's
rebuttal. No, no, I can't go up there.
:44:04
- I can't do this.
- But in conclusion, I'd like to say, congratulations, Harvey.
:44:07
Rigor mortis is the closest you
ever come to a hard-on in 15 years.
:44:13
I thank you.
[Applause, Whistling]
:44:16
¤ [Band Imitating Laughter]
:44:22
Harvey himself is gonna
throw in his two cents...
:44:25
as soon as we take 'em
off his eyelids.
:44:28
[Laughing] I don't
get it. I don't get it.
:44:31
And now, for the rebuttal on behalf of our
guest of honor, his lovely widow, Bernice.
:44:35
And nothing's changed, Harvey. She's
still gonna be doing all the talking.
:44:38
[Laughs]
Bernice Pitnik!
:44:40
[Applause]
¤ [Jazz]
:44:44
¤ [Continues]
:44:47
Lovely woman.
¤ [Ends]
:44:52
[Sighs]
[Applause Fades]
:44:54
Thank you, Merv...
I mean, Steve.
:44:56
That's quite all right.
[Clears Throat, Swallows]