Eddie Murphy Raw

Because you waited
five months for it.

lf you're starving and somebody
throw you a cracker,

you gonna be like this:
"Goddamn, that's the best cracker
I ever ate in my life!

"That ain't no regular cracker, was it?
What was that, a Saltine?

"Goddamn, that was delicious.
"That wasn't no Saltine. That was...
That was a Ritz. That wasn't a Ritz?

"God, that was the best cracker
I ever ate in my life.

"Can I have another one, please?
Please, one more."

Then you get married, because
you think you've found the bomb.

Have the same crackers
every day for a year.

And you roll over one day
and be like:

"Hey, I just got some
regular old crackers."

Try to leave? Half!
So be careful. Marry someone
that's not gonna fool around on you.

Which would be hard
to do in the '80s,

because everybody's
fucking each other nowadays.

lt's like Fuckfest '8 7.
Everybody... Everybody is fucking
and it really... lt's getting bad.

Let me hear the women clap that
are loyal to their men, truthfully.

Let me hear you clap.
OK, now, let me hear... Let me hear
the women clap that have men

that are loyal to them, truthfully.
Yeah, I see. Y'all some disillusioned
ladies clapping right now.

Let me hear the men clap.
Let me hear the men clap
that are loyal to their women.

Stop. You lying motherfuckers, stop.
Stop, stop, stop. Kiss my ass.
Fuck, there ain't no such thing as
a loyal man, you lying motherfuckers.

Stop it. Yeah, the only reason you're
clapping is because your woman's

sitting next to you right now
when I asked you.

When I asked the question,
she looked at you like this:

"You gonna put your hands together?