Eddie Murphy Raw

Then you call up your girlfriends
and go, "Why?"

She go, "I don't know.
My man ain't home." "Why?"

Then you call up your mother
and say, "Mama, why?"

She go, "I don't know, your father
ain't home." "Why? Why?"

I'll tell you why all men fool around.
- Why?
- Hear the ladies go, "Why?"

Men fool around because of this.
Look at all the women in the audience
right now looking up here like this:

We fool around because
we figured women out.

We did.
See, a lot of you ladies going:

"What does he mean,
he figured us out?"

And dumb niggas going, "Yeah, what
does he mean, we figured them out?"

We figured you out in this sense,
and this is true.

Anybody's ever done this
will agree with what I'm saying.

Any woman that's ever had this done
to her will agree what I'm gonna say.

Those of you who've never
done this will go, "I disagree."

But once you make
a woman come real hard,

once you make a woman say:
No matter how bad you fuck up,
no matter what you do wrong,

no matter what you say, no matter
what you do, as long as you say:

"I'm sorry," she will listen to your story.
And that's the truth.

That's the God's honest truth.
lt is the truth. Stop it. lt's the truth.

lt is the truth. And, ladies, as soon
as y'all make that noise,

your relationship will change
with your man. Because we know.

We wait on that noise.
We waiting on it.

Because we know we can act different
as soon as you go:

We know we can act the fool then.
Remember when your man

couldn't make it, he would call?
No more of that shit. He heard you go:

Remember he wanted to spend all his
free time with you? No more of that.

You made that noise.
Your man can act crazy.

We know as soon as you go:
Our face is in the pillow like this,
"I got this motherfucker now, boy."

Then you start talking to her:
"Whose pussy is this?
Whose pussy is this?"

"Oh, it's your pussy!
lt's your pussy!"

And your relationship changes
from that moment.

The woman be sitting on the bed,
legs shaking:

"Oh, my God.
Oh, I can't believe it.

"I never came like that before.
I can't believe it."