You realize we're both
completely insane.

- You're probably going to want to divorce me in three weeks.
- Probably.

No. You'll want to divorce me.
I'll be all fat and ugly.

- Just as long as you don't get too fat.
- I am going to be very fat.

- And you are going to love it.
- I've been cheated

Been mistreated
When will I be loved
- Come on, Brian! Give us a poem!
- Yeah, a poem!

- We want a poem! - A poem?
- Let's hear one, Brian!

A poem!
- A poem?
- A poem. We want a poem.

- All right, a poem. A poem.
- We want a poem! We want a poem!

All right!
- Okay, a poem.
- Yeah, a poem.

Well, this poem
is entitled...

Flanagan's Advice
to His Unborn Child. "

if Jordan gives birth
to a fine Irish son...

there'll be Cocktails & Dreams
for him one day to run.

- A business that shall yield a financial windfall...
- It better!

- To be franchised in every suburban shopping mall.
- A dynasty!

You're founding a dynasty!
if a daughter arrives
to bless our clan...

I guess the shit will
certainly hit the fan.

But this
I shall promise to thee...

I'll never let her
marry a guy like me.

But still, if our child...
is the naughtiest of girls
or the wildest of young men...