Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Music

- What Was A Woman To Do

MURIEL
Last night I met a man beneath a pale
And haunted moon-
A man no womand could refuse.
Bold and assertive with a
Furtive air of mystery.
Magically long of lash,
Tragically short of cash.

As he approached he wore
An aura of nobility.
I wore these Ferragamo shoes.
This was at last, I knew, my
Rendezvous with History.
What was a woman,
What was a woman to do?

And when he smiled he lit the night
With grance and confidence.
His teeth were clean and straight and
white just like a picket fence.
I couldn't look directly at them-
They were that intense.
What was a woman,
What was a woman to do?'

I never realized hwo long
My hear had been ignored.
He sany my name and it rang out just
Like some major chord.
If music be he food of love,
He ate my Smorgasbord.
What was a woman-

WOMAN #1
What was a woman-

WOMAN # 2
What was a woman to do?

WOMEN
Last night I met a prince
And suddenly my life has changed-
I have a purpose and a cause
(to help my dreamy royal boyfiend.)

MURIEL
He's off rebelling,
And i'm kveling here,
But never mind.

WOMAN #2
He's just so- ooo!

WOMAN #3
So suave itmakes you mental

MURIEL
So goddamn continental

WOMEN
Who'd guess that I would be the only
one to whom he'd turn-
This man of brio
And panache

MURIEL
He gave me romance and the feeling
I was young again.

WOMAN#1
I gave him hope and strength and

WOMEN
A check made out to cash.

USHERETTE
He had the most amazing eyes
That I had ever seen.
He came in with a ticket
For the Second Mezzanine.
I ripped it up and put him right down
there in J-13.

MURIEL
Miss? If you don't mind...

USHERETTE
What was a woman-

WOMEN
What was a woman-

MURIEL
What was a woman to do?

[Thanks to firthafied282@sbcglobal.net for lyrics]