How to Get Ahead in Advertising
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:07:00
I'd like another vodka martini,
dry as a bone, twist, no olive.

:07:04
- Signor.
- Spritzer, please.

:07:06
I tell you, Julia,
I'm out of my mind.

:07:09
I'm getting nowhere. Zero.
:07:11
Stop getting so wound up
about it. It'll come.

:07:14
And please put that cigarette out.
That's three in ten minutes.

:07:18
Darling, why don't you
forget it a minute.

:07:22
Take the afternoon off.
:07:24
- I can't. I've got to see Bristol.
- You're not gonna be much use.

:07:26
Oh, that's where
you're wrong, Julia.

:07:28
That's what's so insane about all this.
Anything else, I'm fine.

:07:31
Give me any other part of the human
body. I'll sell it something.

:07:34
Give me a bald head,
and I'll sell it shampoo.

:07:36
- I cannot get a handle on the boils.
- Pass me the butter, please.

:07:39
The moment
I think of a boil,

:07:41
my mind slips into a sort of
dreadful, oily neutral.

:07:44
I just sit there
hour after hour.

:07:46
Chewing the ends off pencils,
smoking myself daft.

:07:49
- What exactly is this stuff?
- It's a standard...

:07:52
16 to 26-year-old acne attacker,
a hexafluoride.

:07:55
- Does it work?
- No idea. It's probably junk.

:07:57
Well, that's probably
the problem.

:07:59
If you knew it actually got rid of
boils, you'd have no problem selling it.

:08:03
Nobody in advertising
wants to get rid of boils.

:08:05
They're good little
money spinners.

:08:07
All we want to do is offer hope
of getting rid of them.

:08:10
- Where's our drinks?
- They're coming. Sir.

:08:12
Well, I really do think you should
cancel Bristol and come home with me.

:08:16
I can't. I've been canceling him
all week. Why can't we cancel dinner?

:08:20
I'm not in the mood
for that mob.

:08:22
If I had known we were having dinner,
I'd have never suggested lunch.

:08:24
We can have both.
People do, darling.

:08:26
- I suppose Wheelstock will be there.
- Don't take it out on Penny.

:08:30
I don't know what to do.
:08:32
Dennis. For goodness'sake.
Stop getting so paranoid.

:08:34
Everything will be all right. You've
had these problems many times before.

:08:38
- Not like this, I haven't.
- You had a terrible time with piles.

:08:42
I did not have
a terrible time with piles.

:08:45
I may have had a problem
getting a hold of them,

:08:47
- but selling them was a piece of cake.
- You're raising your voice.

:08:49
Compared to this, piles
were a birthday present.

:08:52
So was dandruff.
So was breath.

:08:54
You're still raising
your voice.

:08:56
The whole lot taken together,
including the fucking lawnmowers,

:08:58
is nothing compared
to the pimples. Acne and boils!


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