:08:01
Look, I don't know anything...
:08:02
about these letters
asking for love advice.
:08:04
lf I knew anything about love...
:08:06
I would be out there
making it...
:08:08
instead of sitting in here
talking to you guys.
:08:10
No. Just send me stuff
at Box 2710...
:08:15
U.S.A. Mail, Paradise Hills,
Arizona, 84012.
:08:19
Reply is guaranteed.
:08:21
"Dear Harry...
:08:23
"I think you're boring
and obnoxious...
:08:25
"and have a high opinion
of yourself."
:08:27
Of course, some of you
are probably thinking...
:08:28
I sent this from myself.
:08:30
"I think school is OK
if you just look at it right.
:08:33
"I mean, I like your music...
:08:34
"but I really
just don't see why...
:08:36
"you can't be cheerful
for one second."
:08:39
I'll tell you, since you asked.
:08:41
I just arrived
in this stupid suburb.
:08:45
I have no friends...
:08:47
no money...
:08:49
no car...
:08:50
no license.
:08:52
And even if I did
have a license...
:08:54
all I could do is drive out
to some stupid mall.
:08:56
Maybe if I'm lucky...
:08:58
play some fuckin' video games,
smoke a joint, and get stupid.
:09:00
You see,
there's nothing to do anymore.
:09:03
Everything decent's been done.
:09:05
All the great themes
have been used up...
:09:07
turned into theme parks.
:09:09
So I don't really find it
exactly cheerful...
:09:12
to be living in the middle of
a totally exhausted decade...
:09:16
where's there's nothing
to look forward to...
:09:18
and no one to look up to.
:09:23
That was deep.
:09:27
Oh, no. Not again.
:09:30
The creature stirs.
:09:32
Oh, God, I think
it's gonna be a gusher.
:09:35
This is the sixth time
in an hour.
:09:37
Oh, God.
:09:39
He sounds like
a chronic masturbator.
:09:42
He prides himself on it.
:09:43
See? I have to take care of it.
:09:45
Or else I'm going to explode.
:09:48
Just excuse me while l...