- He waited for hours.
- You won't believe it.

- I'm tired of your bullshit!
- It's not my fault.

It's never your fault! Never, ever!
You screwed up my life
and now your son's.

And you'll never accept
responsibility for anything!

Is your friend, the fireman, here?
He had an emergency call.
A real emergency!

Why don't you let me in, instead of
waking up the whole neighborhood?

If you let me talk,
I'll tell you what happened.

What happened is the same thing
that always happens.

You blew it. Only this time, you broke
your son's heart instead of mine.

He was looking forward to
going to the movies with his father.

And you let him down
like you let everyone down, always.

Did you take a mud bath?
That's what I'm trying to...
Shut up, Bernie!
Forget it. Let me talk to Joey
to apologize.

He's in bed. And you won't wake him up
and make him crazy. Understand?

He comes home and wants to know
if Elliott's a war hero, like you.

- He wants to know how many you killed.
- Elliott? Elliott, the fireman.

I had to explain your tendency
to exaggerate.

How you killed as many people as
the other supply clerks in your outfit.

- I didn't say I killed anyone.
- Whatever! You let him believe it!

Then I had to explain
about the homeless.

How not all of them own
apartment complexes.

How not all of them
play the stock market.

How not all of them rent babies
when panhandling.

He's a young boy, Bernie.
Listen, Ev, it's important.
- I gotta see him.
- Use the phone.

- I've got important reasons.
- He'd love to hear from you.

What happened to your shoe?
No, I don't wanna know.
Some fantastic adventure, right?

Something really crazy?
All I was doing was
giving him advice.

Preparing him for life.