Much Ado About Nothing

Did you think the prince
would have served you thus?

I pray you, leave me.
Alas, poor hurt fowl!
But that my Lady Beatrice should know me,
and not know me!

The prince's fool?
I am not so reputed.
It is the base, the bitter disposition of Beatrice...
...that puts the world into her person
and so gives me out.

...I'll be revenged as I may.
Now, signior, where's the count?
Troth, my lord, I found him here
as melancholy as a lodge in a warren.

I told him, and I think I told him true...
...that your grace had got the good will
of this young lady.

The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you.
The gentleman that danced with her
told her she is much wronged by you.

She misused me past the endurance of a block!
She told me, not thinking I had been myself,
that I was the prince's jester...

...that I was duller than a great thaw...
...huddling jest upon jest
with such impossible conveyance upon me...

...that I stood like a man at a mark...
...with a whole army shooting at me.
She speaks poniards...
...and every word stabs.
If her breath were terrible as her terminations,
there were no living near her.

She would infect to the North Star.
So, indeed, all disquiet,
horror and perturbation follows her.

Look, here she comes.
Will your grace command me any service
to the world's end?

I will go on the slightest errand now
to the Antipodes...

...that you can devise to send me on.
I will fetch you a hair off
the Great Cham's beard...

:29:47 you any embassage to the Pigmies...
...rather than hold three words'
conference with this harpy.

You have no employment for me?
None, but to desire your good company!