Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
prev.
play.
mark.
next.

:23:02
are not sufficient
to j-justify

:23:04
removal of these pr-products
from the market,

:23:06
they are sufficient
to warrant

:23:08
the proposed mandatory
label warnings."

:23:12
Shit, oh dear, it's enough
to make me asthmatic.

:23:14
The nerve of those twits.
What do they know about female odor?

:23:18
Don't interrupt...
:23:20
here's my concept.
:23:23
My little ranch out west,
:23:25
it's a beauty ranch.
:23:28
Well, it has a few head
of cattle

:23:30
for atmosphere
and tax purposes...

:23:31
but it is
a beauty ranch...

:23:34
a place where unhappy women,
divorcees, and widows mostly

:23:38
can go to lose weight,
:23:41
uh, remove wrinkles,
or change their hairstyle

:23:43
and pretty themselves up
for the next disappointment.

:23:46
My ranch is called
"The Rubber Rose,"

:23:49
after the "Rubber Rose"
douche bag.

:23:51
My own invention and,
bless its little red bladder,

:23:54
is the most popular
douche bag in the world.

:23:56
So, get this.
:23:59
It is on the migratory flight path
of the whooping crane.

:24:03
The last flock of wild
whooping cranes left in existence.

:24:08
Whooping cranes,
in case you didn't know it,

:24:10
are noted for their
mating dance.

:24:13
Now picture these birds
:24:16
doing their sex dance on TV...
:24:19
right there
on the home screen...

:24:21
creation's most elaborate
sex ritual,

:24:24
but clean and pure enough
to suit the Pope...

:24:30
with lovely Sissy Hankshaw
in the foreground...

:24:34
her white gown,
red hood attached,

:24:36
big, feathery sleeves,
trimmed in black.

:24:39
And then,
:24:41
in a very subdued imitation
of the female whooping crane,

:24:45
she dance-walks
over to a large nest

:24:50
where there sits...
:24:54
a can of Yoni Yum
and a can of Dew!

:24:56
Oh my very
goodness gracious!

:24:59
Grandiose, lyrical,

prev.
next.