:06:01
All right, what do you need?
Bottle rockets? Dental dams? Reddi-wips?
:06:05
Term papers.
:06:06
Uh, actually, no.
No, I'm Tom Lawrence. I'm a pre-frosh.
:06:11
Uh, I'm just up here
a-at Port Chester just...
:06:14
just to see
if I want to go here.
:06:16
What am I,
a stop on the tour?
:06:18
Actually, a-a-admissions
arranged for me to, uh...
:06:21
t-to spend the night
at y-your frat.
:06:23
Gee, Scooter,
frats were banned in the '60s.
:06:26
They were?
:06:28
Let me see that.
:06:29
I don't believe this.
I've been pimped by admissions.
:06:33
- Okay. Want some advice?
- Well, yeah...
:06:36
Here's all you need to know.
Classes: Nothing before 11:00.
:06:39
Beer: It's your best friend,
you drink a lot of it.
:06:41
- Women? You're a freshman, so it's
out of the question. We have a car?
- No.
:06:44
Someone on your hall will.
Make friends with them on
the first day. Anything else?
:06:49
Yeah, um...
:06:51
Look, uh,
can anyone just, um...
:06:55
live in these big houses
with... with girls?
:07:00
Times have changed
in the past 30 years, Tomás.
:07:03
We no longer swill sherry
and screw goats for fun anymore.
:07:06
I'd love to tell you
all about it, but...
:07:08
I'd love to tell you
all about it, but...
:07:09
- Should I just leave
my stuff in your room?
- Uh, no.
:07:12
Look, I'd like to help you, but we're
cutting in on my nap time as it is.
:07:15
But the good news is, I got
just the guy for the job.
:07:18
- ** [Heavy Metal]
- Yo, Gut, what's up, baby?
:07:21
- What's up, Droz?
- Aaaaah!
:07:23
- Got any smokes, baby?
- No, man. Last one.
:07:25
Listen, Tom-man...
:07:27
- ****[Volume Down]
- Tom-man here's a pre-frosh.
:07:29
- I told him you'd show him around.
- Hi.
:07:31
- No can do.
- Whoa, Gut. Can't or won't?
:07:33
Can't, man.
It's grunge night at Vienna House.
:07:35
The Merkins are opening
for Frog And Toad Are Friends.
I gotta psych up for the show.
:07:39
Frog And Toad Are Friends. That's with
the guy from the Clash, right?
:07:42
- The...
- The Clash.
:07:44
I don't know if you're aware,
but there actually was music
recorded before 1989.
:07:49
What is this? You're gonna
wear this to the show?
:07:51
You're gonna wear the shirt
of the band you're gonna go see?
:07:54
Don't be that guy.