:08:02
Hey! Hey, hey. What's up,
my brothers? Here we go.
:08:05
- [Both Chattering]
- Just a quick moment...
That's all right.
:08:07
- Mullaney.
- Yeah, what's up?
:08:09
- Is this a pre-frosh?
- Yes.
:08:11
And you're showing him
around the campus? That's really swell.
:08:14
Make sure he gives you
the special bicentennial tour...
200 years of bullshit.
:08:17
- You little bitch.
- Yeah? Now we're even
for the Milk-Bones.
:08:20
You signed me up
as a weekend host.
:08:23
- You swing bag.
- Sucker!
:08:25
- Milk-Bones?
- Spring break.
:08:26
I filled his suitcase with dog biscuits
coming back from Jamaica.
:08:29
- Hmm?
- Drug-sniffing dogs went ape-shit.
:08:33
I got one more idea.
:08:35
- [Tires Screeching]
- Pigman.
:08:37
- Pigman!
- What's he doing?
:08:39
He's finishing
his senior thesis.
:08:42
Pigman is trying to prove
the Caine-Hackman theory.
:08:45
No matter what time it is,
you can find a Michael Caine
or a Gene Hackman movie on TV.
:08:49
- Wait, that's his thesis?
- Yes!
:08:51
That's the beauty of college
these days, Tommy.
:08:54
You can major in Game Boy if you know
how to bullshit. Have a seat.
:08:56
There's the TV.
Pigman's got you covered.
:09:00
Call me for the shower scene
in Dressed to Kill.
:09:02
Uh...
[Sighs]
:09:04
What?
:09:06
Did I tell you
that I'm from Delaware?
:09:09
Really?
:09:11
Well, I mean,
I just spent s-six hou...
:09:15
six hours on a public bus
just to come to Port Chester...
:09:18
to decide
if I want to come here.
:09:20
So maybe I should see the campus
or a pep rally or a tailgate party or...
:09:23
Okay, okay, I...
I've got it.
:09:25
Here's the deal.
:09:27
You gotta get all this '50s
cornball shit out of your head.
:09:30
It's a whole new ball game on campus
these days, and they call it P.C.
:09:34
- "P.C."?
- Politically correct.
:09:36
[Droz] And it's not just politics...
it's everything.
:09:39
It's what you eat, it's what you wear
and it's what you say.
:09:41
If you don't watch yourself,
you can get in a butt-load
of trouble. For instance...
:09:43
If you don't watch yourself,
you can get in a butt-load
of trouble. For instance...
:09:45
- [Droz] See these girls?
- Yeah.
:09:47
No, those are women. Call 'em girls,
and they'll pop your figs.
:09:50
- Save the whales!
- Gays in the military now!
:09:53
- Free Nelson Mandela!
- They freed him already.
:09:58
What?