:11:00
Well, you know, despite all that kind of bullshit that comes along with it
:11:04
I remember childhood as this
:11:07
you know, this magical time
:11:10
I remember when, uh, my mother first told me about death
:11:14
My great-grandmother had just died, and my whole family had just
visited them in Florida. I was about 3, 3 and a half years old
:11:23
Anyway, I was in the backyard, playing
:11:25
and my sister had just taught me how to take the garden hose
:11:30
and do it in such a way that, uh, you could spray it
into the sun, and you could make a rainbow, right?
:11:36
And so I was doing that,
:11:38
and through the mist I could see my grandmother
:11:41
And she was just standing there, smiling at me
:11:45
And uh, then I held it there, for a long time
:11:48
and I looked at her. And then finally, I let go of the nozzle,
:11:52
y'know, and then I dropped the hose, and she disappeared
:11:57
And so I went back inside, and I tell my parents
:12:02
And they, uh, sit me down give me big rap
:12:05
on how when people die you never see them again
and how I'd imagined it
:12:10
But, I knew what I'd seen. And I was just glad that I saw that.
I mean, I've never seen anything like that since
:12:15
But, I don't know
:12:18
It just kind of let me know how ambiguous everything was
:12:21
y'know, even death.
:12:23
You're really lucky you can have this attitude towards death
:12:28
I think I'm afraid of death 24 hours a day. I swear
:12:33
-I mean, that's why I'm in a train right now.
I could have flown to Paris, but I'm too scared.
-Oh, come.
:12:38
I can't help it. I can't help it
:12:40
I know the statistics say na-na-na, its safer whatever.
:12:43
When I'm in a plane, I can see it.
I can see the explosion. I can see me falling through the clouds
:12:49
and I'm so scared of those few seconds of
consciousness before you're gonna die
:12:55
you know, when you know for sure you're gonna die
:12:59
I can't stop thinking that way