Mighty Aphrodite

Woe unto man.
Brave Achilles,
slain in trial by blood...

for prize,
the bride of Menelaus.

And father of Antigone,
ruler of Thebes,

self-rendered sightless
by lust for expiation.

Lost victim
of bewildered desire.

Nor has Jason's wife
fared better.

Giving life only to reclaim it
in vengeful fury.

For to understand
the ways of the heart...

is to grasp as clearly the malice
or ineptitude of the gods,

who, in their vain and clumsy labors
to create a flawless surrogate,

have left mankind
but dazed and incomplete.

Take, for instance,
the case of Lenny Weinrib,

a tale as Greek and timeless
as fate itself.

- Lenny, let's have a baby.
- Hey!

A baby? Why? Because she's pregnant,
you want to have a baby?

- No. It's a great idea.
- You could raise your own middleweight.

- I don't want a middleweight.
- Flyweight.

- No, it'd be fun.
- Have you ever had children?

- No, I've never had children.
- Why not?

What do you mean, "why not?" 'Cause my
first wife didn't want to have a child.

- Then I never remarried really, so--
- Oh, that's great.

- What am I, chopped liver?
- Until now.

- Yeah?
- I never-- You didn't let me finish.

- No, you'd forgotten.
- Now you've changed your mind.
You didn't want to have a child.

- You should have kids.
- It's like stereo. Give him a break.

- You don't want a kid?
- Oh, we--

When we first met, she didn't like
the beach; she hated the Hamptons;

she didn't want to have kids;
she loved the Upper East Side,
she didn't want to move.

Now suddenly she's making noise about
having a kid and moving to Tribeca.

- Only if the gallery moves downtown.
- Well, being pregnant is great.

- Yeah?
- I love it. You get treated
like the Queen of England.

- Sure.
- You say that like it's a good thing.