:17:02
Can't do that.
:17:03
Maybe you're right.
:17:09
Man don't have to
sneak around no lady's back.
:17:11
A man says, "This is how it is"
and lives by his word.
:17:16
I have a lot of honeys
but I don't have to sneak.
:17:19
My women know I'm not
the settling-down type.
:17:22
Besides, I learned long ago
never to lie to a black woman.
:17:25
- Sounds like you learned the hard way.
- Yeah!
:17:28
I must've been about...
:17:30
...13 years old. I told my mom I was
going to the library after school.
:17:34
But really I was trying out for track.
:17:37
She said: "Until you get your grades
up, don't try out for anything."
:17:41
- You had to be hard-headed.
- Absolutely.
:17:43
She looks for me at the library.
:17:45
A so-called friend
tells her where I am.
:17:48
Next thing I know, here she comes
across the track where tryouts are...
:17:53
...with this big, thick leather belt.
:17:55
It was so thick no one could wear it.
:17:58
It was just made for whupping ass.
:18:00
I couldn't take that
in front of the guys so I had to...
:18:05
...I had to jet.
:18:07
They know you can't run forever.
:18:09
You tell it.
Finally, when I made it back home...
:18:12
...when I got tired of running,
she whupped my ass so good...
:18:15
...that I still hate wearing belts.
:18:17
The worst beating I ever got,
I was about 8.
:18:21
My mother was a Baptist,
so we was in church on Easter.
:18:24
This lady sitting next to me
catches the Holy Ghost.
:18:27
Old gal was hooting and howling, talk
about "Thank you, Jesus. Thank you!"
:18:32
And she steps on
my brand-new Stacy Adams.
:18:35
Only thing I could think to do...
:18:38
...was to kick her
in her big, fat bubble behind.
:18:41
No, tell me you didn't.
:18:43
The congregation froze.
Even the lady stopped hollering.
:18:46
Next think I know, my mother
grabs the collection plate...
:18:49
...and starts whupping me
upside my head with it.
:18:52
I tried to tell her
the Spirit made me kick her...
:18:55
...but that made her hit me more.
:18:57
One time I stole some candy
from the grocery store...