Loch Ness

I recognise you
from that picture in Time magazine.

You were on the boat in Madagascar
with a lemur on your shoulder.

You've lost weight since then. If you
don't mind me saying, it suits you.

This is an honour for me. I've read
all your books on biodiversity.

(Adrian) Loch Ness.
In 500 AD, St Columba saw
the beastie approaching a swimmer.

"Turn back, beastie! Let the man be!"
He shouted, and it submerged.

Ever since then,
people have been seeing Each Uisge.

That's the Horse of the Water.
But you watch out, beastie,
'cause your man is here.

It is... It's very comfortable.
And each room is done out
in a different tartan.

I think mine's "Hunting Stewart".
(music, chatter and whooping)
Is there another hotel we can go to?
Not that's open now.
It's after the season.

- The ceilidh's in high gear, so...
- Wait, wait. What's a ceilidh?

Well, it's a gathering in honour
of all the cryptozoologists.

You're telling me
there are Nessie hunters in there?

Aye, I thought you knew. They're all
excited at a chance to meet you.

Didn't Dr Mercer tell you?
Aw, that's perfect (!)
(# tune: "Marie's Wedding")
The Danes are here,
building a giant cage.

They plan to lure Nessie in
with six tons of breadcrumbs.