Conspiracy Theory
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:00:15
July eighth, 1979...
:00:17
...all the fathers of Nobel Prize
winners were rounded up...

:00:21
...by United Nations military units...
:00:24
...and actually forced at gunpoint...
:00:26
... to give semen samples
in little plastic jars...

:00:29
... which are now stored at Rockefeller
Center underneath the ice skating rink.

:00:33
I wouldn 't want to be there
for the thaw.

:00:37
I mean, it's disgusting!
:00:38
You know what they put in the water?
:00:40
Fluoride! Yeah, fluoride.
:00:43
On the pretext
that it strengthens your teeth!

:00:46
That's ridiculous!
You know what this stuff does to you?

:00:49
It actually weakens your will...
:00:52
... takes away the capacity for free
and creative thought...

:00:55
...and makes you a slave to the state.
:01:00
Ever wonder about these right-wing
militia groups and survivalist types?

:01:05
They say they're defending
the country from U.N. troops.

:01:08
They're yelling so loud,
my theory is that this is a conspiracy:

:01:13
They are the U.N. troops.
They're in place!

:01:15
The infrastructure's ready.
It's a fait accompli.

:01:17
They'll just take over,
we'll all be toast.

:01:19
Oswald.
That's what I said, Oswald.

:01:22
He said, "I'm just a patsy,"
which means he didn't do it, right?

:01:25
Armand Hammer goes to the doctor.
:01:28
The doctor says, "Armand...
:01:30
. . .you've only got 3 minutes to live. "
And he says, "That's terrible news.

:01:34
Isn't there anything you can
do for me, Doc? 3 minutes"?

:01:37
And the doctor says,
"Well, I can boil you an egg. "

:01:41
I guess not.
:01:43
Ever see those advertisements,
"Got Milk"?

:01:50
Open up!
:01:52
Open it up!
:01:53
What's going on?
:01:56
Son of a bitch!
:01:58
"Eat beef"?

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